Hi Buterfliez,
Have you ever done a worst case scenario in your mind? For instance, "What?s the worst thing that could happen if . . .". Very often if you try and imagine the worst thing that could happen, given a particular event or decision or circumsatnce, etc., you discover that the final ?worst? thing really isn?t all that bad in the end. In fact it can open up new possibilities. Here?s an example to help you picture what I mean:
I hate my present job, so what?s the worst thing that could happen if I decide not to go to work today?
I could get in trouble.
What?s that worst thing that could happen if I get in trouble at work?
I could get fired.
What?s the worst thing that could happen if I get fired?
I?d have to find another job.
In this scenario it resolves nicely as it shows giving you an opportunity to find another place to work that you might like better than your old job! It doesn?t always pan out so tidy, but it can illuminate other possibilities you hadn?t considered. I?m forty-eight years old and I have learned that very often in life, the outcomes of events we fear don?t actually turnout out exactly the way we worry that they will anyway.
As for your dilemma, as long as you know in your heart that the Watchtower Society and the JW religion is wrong and you have divorced yourself from it psychologically and emotionally, then everything else is secondary. The biggest pitfall for the former JW, is not really knowing where he or she stands regarding their former religion. Once they finally get this part of the puzzle resolved within them, then everything else is just circumstance. So meet with the elders, or tell them what they can do with their meeting. Avoid them or confront them. Be overt about your decision or covert. But YOU decide. You stay in control, not them. Never forget that. It?s all about control, and they want to be in charge over you. That?s the cult mentality.
I gotta admit I like the suggestion in this thread about you promising the JW elders you?ll have legal counsel at your meeting. I don?t know if that will make a difference in the total outcome, but this is the kind of fun you can have with this situation. I actually had a ball when my elder?s meeting happened. These two pompous pious morons came out to my house unannounced. I had no idea about ?judicial meetings? and all that, but I soon understood this was a ?you?re in or out? meeting. So I told them what I really thought about their religion and them personally and I got up a walked out of the room. I didn?t even show them the courtesy of walking them out. But I was on my own at that time and I could do such things without any fear of reprisal. Your situation is a little different.
I?m sure you realize there will be risks involved in being open about your true feelings. And if you do decide to be forthright and open, it could indeed create difficulties for you at home. Your wise for your years but you are still a minor and somewhat dependent on your (JW) family at this present time. And since you were baptized there is a high probability you will experience some relationship difficulties with your JW family members. Never underestimate the mind control of a religious cultic group such as the Watchtower Organization and the power it has over the week minded. I do have to admit that in talking with hundreds of former JW?s over ten year?s time, there is almost always some kind of family breakdown when a JW family member leaves the Watchtower. It?s practically inevitable. But what are your choices? You?ve got to be true to who you are, first. And you?ve got to be willing to make the sacrifices of being who you are regardless of the consequences. There?s nothing like the feeling of knowing who you are in this world. There?s real power in knowing who you are and what you believe in.
Be patient and keep in mind your current limitations. In time you will be in charge of your own life.
Steve
