what do you believe???

by walker22 31 Replies latest jw friends

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  walker22

  I have been df for a nummber of years now and have recently been doing research via the web for the past few weeks. Mostly because my new husband has been also doing his own research because I have been saying for years I want to go back, but never have and he had questions about the religion that he didnt understand. The only time I ever go to the hall is for the memorial. My eyes have now been opened to a lot of things never really explained in detail. I am now at a cross roads. I dont know if I sould return or not. I relate to a lot of the postings here, but still have a fear that if I dont return I will die at armageddon. My husband says this is because I was scared into thinking this from a young age. My background:

  I was df for getting pregnant and even my own mother threated to turn me in if I didnt tell the brothers. I feel as though I was df unfairly. The brothers said to me "What would the other young ones in the cong. think if nothing happened to you?" I feel as thought they were trying to make an example out of me. I know a lot of people in the other congs. (who were elders children) that didnt get df for the same thing I did. Ever since then my mother has been making me feel guilty for being out for so long. Telling about all the people in my family that have gotten reinstated and how she never thought I would be out for so long. She even told me she wasnt coming to my wedding because I was df. So we got married by ourselves because I didnt want to face the questions of why my parents werent there. I always thought I wanted to return but after doing a lot of reading here and at other sites Im not so sure. 1st I dont ever remember being taught that the religion was started by Russell in the late 1800s. I remember hearing about him at assemblys but thats about it. I always thought it was the religion that was around in bible times. And then tonight I was reading up on the member of the governing body that wrote a book and it has me even further confused.

  My question is do you still believe some of the teachings, and do you fear dying at armageddon if you dont return???
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  Euphemism

  Welcome to the board, Walker!

  You mentioned a book written by a former Governing Body member; that's Crisis of Conscience, by Ray Franz. If you haven't read it, I would highly recommend it.

  Jesus didn't try to motivate people through fear or guilt; he motivated them by love. He also said that "whoever stumbles one of these little ones, it would be better for them if a millstone were placed around their neck and they were pitched into the sea." The Watchtower Society has misled millions of spiritual 'little ones' who looked to them for Bible teaching and direction. They are in no position to pass judgment on anyone else.

  I believe that the most powerful statement in the Bible is: "God is love." Would a God of love destroy a decent, good-hearted person merely because they belong to the wrong religion? That simply makes no sense to me.

  If you had been raised an Evangelical Christian, you would have been taught that only Evangelical Christians will be saved. If you had been raised a Wahabbi Muslim, you would have been taught that only Wahabbi Muslims will be saved. etc. That's just a scare tactic that religious leaders use to keep control over their flocks.

  Again, welcome to the site. I think you'll find a lot of eye-opening information here. The most important thing, however, is that no one--not anyone in the Watchtower Society, not any other religious leader, not anyone in this board--can tell you how to live your life. That is a decision for you alone to make. And I hope you never give up that freedom. :)
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  avengers

  If there's anyone who should be afraid to die in Armageddon then it's the Governing Body.
  They are the ones who have deceived us. We did not deceive them.
  They are the ones who slept with the Wild Beast.
  They are the ones pregnant with the seed of the "Wild Beast"
  They should be disfellowshipped.
  The GB uses "Armageddon" as a sort of "Spiritual Blackmail"
  Don't fall for this trap. They use it to keep the R & F in line.

  Andy
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  Gopher

  Walker22,

  Welcome to the forum! You have come to the right place for support.

  I too was raised "in the truth" (although I don't call it THAT any longer), and was put out unfairly. When out I examined things from the outside, and looked at informative web sites such as this one and www.freeminds.org. I soon found out that (and you may soon fully embrace this) the WT Society and Jehovah's Witnesses are really just another man-made religion that kind of makes things up as it goes, and is mainly interested in keeping their corporation going at a great emotional cost to the individuals it uses to distribute its corporate literature.

  Your husband is 100% correct when he says you have been scared into fearing Armageddon. The notion that only 0.1% of the population (practicing JW's) while everyone else is foaming-at-the-mouth evil -- does that seem reasonable to you? Is your husband a bad person? I'd bet not. When forced out of the organization, I came to realize that most of humanity is decent and actually quite helpful, and not deserving of the broad-brush judgment that the teachings of JW's smear them with.

  The book you refer to by the former governing body member is "Crisis of Conscience" by Raymond Franz. It is available at www.commentarypress.com and also at www.walmart.com and other book-selling sites. Please get this at once! You'll find Mr. Franz to be an incredibly caring writer who also was forced out from the JW's merely for eating with his employer/landlord (who happened to be disassociated at the time). That was their excuse -- there's a lot more to the story. He documents the inner workings of the Governing Body of the Watchtower Society, and shows how they abused their power and said one thing while doing others. You'll see why even the existence of a governing body itself is unscriptural.

  The turning point for me came when I read that book. All the fears that the organization imposed melted away. And then I came to this site and found that there are many people worldwide, like myself, who TRIED to be good Jehovah's Witnesses but never could do enough to please the local elders or the organization, and who became more and more put off by the lack of love found in the congregation. It's just not where you live, but is a symptom of the way the organization operates.

  Too bad your mother joins in the parade by trying to instill guilt. But that's exactly how the WT Society operates -- trying to instill guilt and fear to motivate you to do their work. If they followed the example of the biblical Jesus, they would use love to try to draw you. Instead they use negative emotions to try to push you. They use the carrot-and-stick method of motivation. The carrot is the continual promise that the end is near (used in 1914, 1925, the 1940's and 50's, 1975 and the end of the century), and the stick is their teaching that you must toil endlessly for the organization in order to survive "the end" (which of course is still near!! according to their literature).

  I hope you will read "Crisis of Conscience". And stick around here, you'll have plenty of support from people the world over who really understand! This is more like the brotherhood you expected than the JW's are!!
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  Hunyadi

  My question is do you still believe some of the teachings, and do you fear dying at armageddon if you dont return???

  Well, I was df'd 14 years ago, for smoking, and like you I have thought about going back until I was forced to answer for myself some pretty tough questions (unrelated to subliminal art in the WT publications, he he).

  Do I think the GB is full of it? Yes! Do I resent the fear, terror, nightmares, guilt, and lies heaped upon me since childhood? You bet. Do I sometimes slip into worrying that I will, like they say, die at Ameddy? At least once a day . . . then I laugh and let it go. If I die, then I get to stand in line in hell and wait my turn to punch each member of the GB in the nuts. Can't wait. But now after 36 years in their "truth" I am finally liberated and I get to move on. Many who have replied to you thus far are on target with what they say.

  Do I still believe in some of the teachings? Yes, definitely. Just because I left the organization, it does not mean I no longer believe in the Bible or God unlike some who have swung from one extreme to the other, putting men and science opon the alter for worship. As far as the truth goes, even CT Russell said, and I am paraphrasing, that even Satan knows what the truth is and can speak it freely when it suits his own purposes, and I believe that the org has hit on a few Bible truths, but like Satan, has used it for their own benefit and advantage.

  I have teens who still attend the meetings, go out in field service, ect. . . . and I am trying to ween them and carerully deprogram them so that they do not have to put up with the crap most of us did growing up in the "truth". They still go simply because, my exwife, their mother, is a neurotic fanatic and guilts them into going whenever they go over there for visitation; the situation is fragile right now. I will not, however, let them get baptize while still a minor living in my home. Once they are dipped, the elders can screw with their heads and try to force them into making a tramatic decision, like distancing themselves from their "apostate father" under Satan's control. The minute one of those bozos approach one of my kids with some crap like that I am going to go apeshit on them.

  It is hard and scarey at first when you "make your mind over' to leave the org for good, but once you do and you take that first breath of freedom, it is goooood. I no longer fear the wrath of the GB's Jehovah, but instead, I am simply confident that HE will deal with me in his own loving and understanding way. My biggest fear was having my children turn against me for being outspoken against the org. They have not tho and I grow more confident each day knowing I have made the right decision.

  Take courage and do what is best for you. You seem to be aware that you have your own little support group right here.

  Kind Regards,

  Hunyadi
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  mouthy

  To answer your Quest ... I believe the WT are false prophets Duet 18: 20,22 I have not read all the replies so forgive me if I repeat anotheres thought. I will go back & read after my guests will have gone ,All ex JWs also. I do not believe the WT I have read Crises of Conscience & I think it wouldnt hurt any for you to read it. I was DF because I DONT believe Jesus came in 1914- I believe Jesus WILL come... ( some here will not adhere to this -but we love each other anyway) This is a place for UN( read it) UN> Conditional love .... Unconditional Love is something the WT doesnt know about ask any question you want answers to on her & you will know the truth about the WT & YOU will be free to think for yourself..... Welcome to the land of the living.... Grace
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  moses

  I THINK YOUR FEELINGS ARE PRETTY COMMONFOR SOMEONE WHO IS STARTING TO SEARCH THE RELIGION THAT YOU ALWAYS BELEIVED TO BE THE TRUTH. I WOULD SAY TO REALLY EXAMINE THE SOCIETY JUST LIKE THEY TELL YOU TO EXAMINE FALSE RELIGION EXAMINE THEM.I KNOW THAT THERE ARE MANY QUESTIONS BUT REMEMBER THAT GOD KNOWS THE HEART AND WHEN IT COMES TIME I DON'T THINK ANYONE KNOWS WHO WILL BE SAVED.
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  Sassy

  Welcome to JWD Walker. Make sure you study and understand everything before making your decision what to do. You need the answers even if you never go back, because you need to be able to let go if that is the choice you make. Because of how we were taught, if you don't understand the failings, the coverups, the misguidance given, you might forever feel trapped in that world that taught us if we are not a JW in good standings then we are doomed to death. You need to understand the truth so you can find a way out of the JW mentality and believe in yourself.
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  JamesThomas

  do you fear dying at Armageddon if you don't return???

  Dear walker, Welcome. This question can be the key to everything. The first commandment is to love God with your whole heart mind and soul (or similar). So the question is: can you truly, honestly and sincerely love That, which threatens to kill you at Armageddon if you don't love it? Can you really love what points a gun at your head? Or would it be an act of self-preservation disguised as "love"? It is said that true-love is self-sacrificing, not overly protective of itself. We need to come to a concrete sense of these matters within our own heart. After some introspection I knew beyond a doubt that I could not love a concept of god that would kill me, if I did not love it. There is no way. For me, the entire concept of such, is a total bastardization of love. I would rather die, than live under such degradation. Now, there is a deep sense of peace on this matter. Look deep and honestly within your heart Walker, and see where you stand. Then, honor what you discover. j
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  LittleToe

  Hi Walker, welcome to the board.

  You sound very like my little sister. She went through bouts of fearing Armaggedon, for years. It wasn't until I'd been out for a wee while that I found this out, and was able to help her.

  The bottom line is simply this - you don't need any religion, organization or group to "be right" with God.
  It sounds like you are married, and I'm going to guess you've prayed for forgiveness for what you previously did.
  What more needs to be done? Grovelling before a committee of three men, of questionable life experience, isn't going to make you any more right with God.

  That being the case, continue reading and exploring, and draw your own conclusions as to the finer point of what you believe. One thing is for sure, as you seem to have discovered already, and that is that the JW's are not this planets "truth" dispensers - though I suspect they could come up with a really good soap dispenser, if they really turned their minds to it.