How do JW"S treat each other in the cong in your area?

by fearnotruth22 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • fearnotruth22
    fearnotruth22

    "By this they will know that you are my disciples, if you have love amongst yourselves" Is this true in your cong? How do the bothers deal with each other in your area? Do they really love each other?

  • Joker10
    Joker10

    I would have to say that they tolerate each other.

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    By this you will know that they are Jehovah's Witnesses, if they manage to keep up the appearance of loving each other.

    I think they generally treat strangers and visitors better than they treat each other, unless you're in the same "clique". People in the same little groups tend to get along OK, at least for short periods.

    Of course, the real measure of love and concern is how you behave around people whose personality and/or opinions differ from yours. Would you still gladly go out of your way to help such ones? Also -- how do you treat the weakest members of your group? Do you try to be inclusive, or are such people just a bother?

    Look at how JW's discourage inclusion of mentally-challenged ones (see posts by SanFrancisco Jim and his experience on this), or how they stifle the cries of those who are presently or have in the past been sexually molested by fellow adult members of the congregation but did not have the necessary two eyewitnesses so that the molestor could be dealt with.

  • Blueblades
    Blueblades

    Well,you make all the meetings,are regular in service,do your assignments,know when to keep quiet,and when to speak,then your treatment will be this way,some will never get close to you and some will never let you go.Two extremes,there is no middle ground.

    Blueblades

  • micheal
    micheal

    Most jw's will be nice to your face, but most will also speak about you behind your back.

    And some of those things they say are very very unkind and mean spirited.

  • Nocturne
    Nocturne

    Well it depends who you are. From what I see, the elderly are well treated. But as it was my experience, if you're not part of the right cliques, you're not going to end up with many friends. Alot of the young ones are displaying horrible behaviour, constantly stabbing each other in the back.

  • Room 215
    Room 215

    Althougfh in fairness,there seems to be an absence of ill will among the members of the local congregation (of about 120 or so), at the same time, a sort of cordial aloofness seems the most apt description of the overall spirit.

    Very few locals know exactly where the other members live, and the number of those who've visited each other's homes, except for attending the congregation book studies, is pretty small. This includes, and maybe even applies especially to, the elders and ministerial servants.

    One can also count on one hand the number of locals who've forged close friendships with one another, that is, it would be almost impossible for me to identify any two of them as ``best friends. They assemble for their meetings, smile and say `hi' politely, sing and sit for the meeting. After the closing ``amen" they file out to their cars and thence to home.

    This reputation for singular love and brotherhood is more a result of the collective JW behavior at large assemblies, where in the euphoria of the moment, away from the problems of the local Kingdom Hall, and in the glare of the public eye, transports the dubs into an illusion of immersion in a ``spiritual paradise" -- a vision which quickly fades, usual y when they pull in to their driveways back home.

  • shamus
    shamus

    The above descriptions are so accurate I have nothing more to add. I always thought that I was weird because I found assosiating with "good assosiation jehovers witnesses" was uncumfortable and not fun.

    When I started hanging around with the "bad assosiation jehovers witnessess", they were far more understanding, fun, and loyal. I still have some of these friends even today!

  • Purple
    Purple

    What they said! Plus it depends also on whether you tow the line or not. When they worked out that I was an individual and would not fit the mould the shunning started and the cold shoulders. That is of course unless someone wanted something then that was a different story. They you were their best friend. Lo and behold if such as bit*h as me ever was successful in field service. The elders would always call me in for a talk when I got someone poor unsuspecting fool to study with me. Then it was well sister so and so would be more suited and has more time and so on . Talk about catty and bit*chy and that was just the elders! Jealousy, gossip, back stabbing and nothing resembling love was really the law in my cong!

  • sunny
    sunny

    I remember the association issues with much contempt. There totally were cliques that some felt they must be a part of and when they were not included they just fell apart. When I first started going to meetings we had 2 babies and there were many families with small ones , but as they grew older and I did not follow the rigid parenting of others I knew that was going to be a problem. I know that when we stopped going to meetings the "LOVE" between the brothers was void - totally! I appreciate so much now having friends that I care about and visa/versa. Chosing to go back to the kingdom hall and pretending to have brotherly love is my worst nightmare..

    Sunny

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