My experience with a Judicial Committee, when in my early 20's

by Dunedain 27 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Dunedain
    Dunedain

    It really is/was such a power trip for some of these men. Yes, there are always, the "kind, older" Elders, and the "fair" ones, but usually they do NOT have the "power". They are typically bullied themselves, in a subtle way, and in turn the power hungry ones dominate.

    In my case, the judicial committee that was put together for me, was with 3 heavy duty, hard asses. I mean, i was actually yelled at by these men. I was told that whatever i am going thru, I deserve, due to my past actions, and that my "fate" is in Jehovahs hands, and basically i am in for a life of heartache if i stay DF'd, which is what THEY did to me.

    The beauty about this all, and i still must come back to it, is that they did me a favor. I was out now, and FREE, and at an age where i still had my whole life ahead of me.

    I wound up becoming very successful in business. I have a beautiful family, and children now, and lead a wonderful, financially comfortable, life.

    Word of my "success" had actually gotten back to the PO elder, who was the "main" one on my judicial committee. I actually attended a meeting many years later, and he was giving a part and specifically said something concerning me. He actually had the audacity to say, as i was sitting there, "although we may hear that certain ones who have been disfellowshipped, are leading a successful life, it only makes sense, since they were raised in the truth, and learned valuable qualities that helped them become successful". It was ridiculous, he was actually addressing me. Meanwhile, what a hypocrite, he said i was going to lead a miserable life "away" from them, but quite the opposite was true. I have FLOURISHED away from these evil men.

  • Vidiot
    Vidiot
    Assholes thrive in authoritarian high-control groups.
  • krejames
    krejames

    Dunedain- thank you for your story. I have no words.

    The elders in my judicial committees were doing their best to be merciful but the experience was still traumatic to say the least. Yours sounds absolutely horrific Especially for someone so young.

    Nice to meet you and genuinely looking forward to hearing more about your life and experiences.

  • LisaRose
    LisaRose

    Belated welcome and thanks for sharing your story. You were treated very horribly by those elders, they were totally in the wrong. What is incredible is that had you been an elder and it was found out by the elder body that you had done something similar, you would have been allowed to continue as an elder with no one in the congregation the wiser. They reason that the fact an elder wasn't found out for a number of years and he continued his elder duties was proof God had forgiven him and he was repentant. Total double standard. By all biblical rules you showed repentance by changing your conduct.

    But no matter, their harsh, unloving and unchristian attitude woke you up, so it was all for the best. The Watchtower is its own worst enemy, they are diving people away and hooray for that.

    Lisa 🌹

  • ULFBERHT
    ULFBERHT

    Your story is very similar to mine. I was DFd 24 years ago, when I was 18. Same scenario with my JC. Several people who were supposedly my "Brothers & Sisters" came out of the woodwork and accused me of all sorts of things that I hadn't even done.

    At any rate, my quality of life and even my worth as a person have improved a million-fold since leaving.

    I'm new here too. Just joined today.

    Thanks for sharing.

  • stuckinarut2
    stuckinarut2

    Great post buddy!

    Wow...such an awful abuse of self-imposed power...

    Certainly inappropriate behaviour!

    Yes, many of us allowed ourselves to be bullied when we were younger. Now though, with age and maturity, we stand our ground, and remind them of BOUNDARIES.

    Glad to hear that your life has progressed well without such a negative culture surrounding you. Much respect to you!

  • Mad Irishman
    Mad Irishman
    Even in the world of Jehovah's Witnesses most JW's would agree that what that body of elders did to you was wrong.
  • Dunedain
    Dunedain

    @ - Mad irishman - I hope that is true, but i personally feel its not. The Elders are almost never held accountable for their actions. their asses are kissed, and their wrds are hung on, as the sheeple bob their heads up and down. As a whole, there is hardly any accountability to these men. What they do, behind closed doors, many times is never brought out to the "open". If someone gets DF'd, then the rest of the cong just assumes they deserved it, and or had it coming. Until it happens to them, personally, it means nothing. If someone, like myself, is truly bullied and hurt by these men, and then leaves, never coming back, then the cong thinks they deserved to be away. If you choose to eat their shit, and get reinstated, then once back, you cannot expose the Elders about what they did and said. Part of coming back, is going along with, that what they said and did was right. Either way, the Elders actions are NOT held to accountability.

    @ - Everyone else - Just typing down this experience i went thru, was a bit therapuetic in of itself. I didnt expect all the other comments and support to be so helpful, and insightful. I had a feeling that others here, may have had similar experiences. I knew i wasnt the only one, lol. Thanks for all of your kind words.

  • KateWild
    KateWild

    Thank you for you're story. I had a similar experience in a JC. I recorded it. Send me a pm if you want to listen to it.

    Kate xx

  • AlwaysBusy
    AlwaysBusy
    I know the pain of sitting through those JCs. I sat through 7 or 8 of them, and showed up for a dozen more (the elders made appointments with me and didn't show up for those). I never knew of what I was being accused. That was 18 years ago, and I'm still not over the trauma of the whole thing. I've never seen such cruel behavior and gloating over destroying a sister. I believe your story 100%.

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