Non JW parent dating a JW who wants children (page 3)

karter

If you marry this guy expect most J.Ws to shun him for "marrying outside the Lord".

Most J.Ws will not come to your wedding and dont expect to have any sort of soical life with them.

His family will be nice to you as long as youy dont say or do ANYTHING against the religion even if it true.

Beware of letting your children around any J.Ws as they welcome child molesters into the congregation and will never tell you ...i have many examples of this if you wish to P.M me.

You will not be number one in his life the religion will be you will be number 2.

Karter

Vanderhoven7

@Mom3

If you do a little research at JW Facts, you will see what a cult looks like very clearly.

https://jwfacts.com/watchtower/salvation-only-for-jehovahs-witnesses.php

The husband will be doing his darnedest to get his family "saved" under the Watchtower banner. The Watchtower has no concept of the separation of church and state; everything you do is their business. They will intrude on your affairs in ways that would make most sane people blush.

truthlover123

Sorry, but take it from one who married one, run! You will be cut off from your worldly relatives as they are - worldly. They celebrate xmas, Easter, halloween, birthdays- all of which you will not, and your child will likely suffer seeing that you did/do celebrate. The Bible is a great book, you can read and understand it for yourself. You do not need imperfect MEN translate it in accord with their own thoughts, and rules! At the same time, your JW guy takes their word as spoken from God himself. A woman is totally dependent on their man, if your child is a boy and gets baptized at 10 or so, you will not be able to study with him only his father. Your child will not be able to take blood if needed, many child abuse cases evident in many congregations- check out Pennsylvania. You won't have a chance after about 6 months as you slowly change the word of God to the word of the "organization". A bait and switch. You do not become a member when you are baptized- you or all JW's now are only publishers, yet you will pay a fee per month to the organization via the contribution box per congregation. They call it a donation, it is actually a tithe.

Sorry just my experience and I am not a bad person, just giving you another side of the coin.

truthlover123

Just read some of your answers- it will happen to you and oh my, his parents were great to me too, so much so they started to invite me to a talk or two , gradually, gradually, my mind set went to maybe a study with them will do good. Here I am, got baptized after a year! Are you that strong that you can ignore the parents and jw relatives who will hen peck you to death very subtly? If you go to the hall (cause you wont be married in one, as you are worldly) then the people there will love bomb you to death so much that you think you are welcome- only until you k realize you made a mistake and sin- then you will be outcast and no one will speak with you. Eventually, maybe the children you will have with him will be center of a separation or divorce. He will, as this world gets worse, and his parents pick at him that the end is near, take your children. He could even lie to the elders and they would think its all your fault. I could go on, but it is your life, Just know up front what is at stake. It is not love and smiles that they portray in their mags. He may be a great guy, but he is indoctrinated. That never leaves.

NotFormer

Thruthlover, I forgot about custody battles and the very real chance of kidnapping, with congregational support.

https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/278843/won-won-won

That's just one example from a quick search on here.

Mom3, please don't do this to yourself and your son; avoid the JWs at all cost, and that means don't marry him. He will always be a JW first, husband second.

Balaamsass2

EVERY aspect of life is touched by Watchtower. Child rearing. Work. Education. Medical treatment. Marital sex.

Read: JWfacts.com asap.

Balaamsass2

He and his family will pressure you to have the kids carry a "no Blood card" 24/7. possibly a suicide pact.

truthlover123

Just another thought - and I hope by this time, you understand what has gone before and is current in a JW relationship of husband/wife. If- If- If he becomes a ministerial servant, it's because he is meeting the organizations requirements of having one wife and a family (wife and kids) in subjection to the point that if your son wishes a college education, he will not be allowed to obtain that degree and your husband would lose his "position" in the congregation. This organization frowns aggressively on higher education. Yes your son could go to gr 12 and take a course but no college. Your future and his is in your hands.

NotFormer

Looking through all these warnings, it hammers home the fact that the JWs are a horrible organisation with no upside.

Mom3, you can't marry a JW and be a disinterested observer on the sidelines. In the eyes of the WT, you and your kids will belong to your husband, and he belongs to them (the WT). And they will bring every pressure to bear to own you and your kids. It's not just holidays and birthdays. Your kids won't be allowed to participate in organised sports, the school chess club, Scouts or Girl Guides, extracurricular school activities and clubs, charity drives, the school band etc. All direction comes from the WT, and all energy is to be directed towards them. All socialising is with JWs and within JW contexts. Only things done in the interests of the Kingdom will be considered worthwhile achievements.

Edited to add: I forgot about school dances. There're probably plenty more examples of the petty ways your husband would be pressured into isolating your kids from any person or activity that doesn't involve the WT.

Non JW parent dating a JW who wants children

Share this