Need advice on fade...
Don't worry about any of the wolves - ever again!! Politely decline any/all invitations for "chats."
Just build a brick wall which they can't overcome - they'll get the message loud & clear.
Lie low, don't say much and remain a low profile. Fading is hard work, takes a lot of planning.
Thanks all for your input. For those who suggest straight out DA, I do agree, but I have a wife and I need to thread carefully. She is fully aware of my position but I intend to try and have her open her eyes. I've been threading slow, very slow and I am sometimes surprised at some of the things that happen.
while it was a small family thing, we actually celebrated my wife's birthday and we did the same for our youngest daughter last August. I know my wife does not think much of it but for her to admit in front of the children that we are going out to dinner because is A.... Birthday, is a step in the right direction that I did not expect. Jan 20 is the next B-day. I already bought gifts and my wife surprised me by asking me suggestions on what she could get for our oldest.
Sounds good StarTrekAngel.
Reading your comments two posts above this says a lot of good change is happening in your wife's thinking.
Many JWs realize the ban on birthdays and many other celebrations is ridiculous and NOT scriptural, but of course they are forced to "toe the line" -- publicly. It's not all that unusual for them to "bend the rules" privately. (The ban on oral sex was largely (pun not intended) ignored by most of my peers. Don't ask. Don't tell.) Accepting the GB/Borg is "wrong" or "overstepping what is written" on smaller things can lead to them questioning bigger things.
Elders can only come on shepherding calls if you allow them to.
So don't allow them to come if you don't need or don't want it.
It's your mind, your faith, your life, your home.
If your wife doesn't agree with not having a shepherding call, she could always ask for one for herself if she wants (but I hope not)