New and questioning (page 3)

DevonMcBride

Welcome Purple. Glad you are here. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the experience.

Devon

RedhorseWoman

Hey cool, another purple person!

Yeah, yeah....and so what is wrong with red?

Welcome, Purple! Yes, this is the right place. Just ignore the "bad" ads.

Carmel

Hi Purp! Any relation to Purple V? She's a sweety! I always was a wallaby wannabe! Made it as far as Z Land but haven't been to your fine continent yet..but determined to do so! Welcome to OZ!

carmel

Thanks guys for the explanations and the welcomes. I am so glad it was a case of the host and advertising. I thought that might be the case. It was just that Sassy told me about this board and I was just surprised to find ads that lead you straight to sites that were pro witness! If you have any interesting links please let me know as the more I read the better I feel. I am so anti anything faithwise at the moment. I never thought I would feel like this as I have always had some type of faith! Maybe past experiences with my x have coloured this view somewhat. It still seems as if the cosmos is backing him up and screwing me royally! If there was true justice in this world he would be homeless, living in the street with a broken something festering with infection and so on!

My story is probably not disimmilar to a lot of people. I was adopted by a Beligum couple with a penchant for buggery..my mother was a 15 year old prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet....opps no sorry that isnt my story....HUGE Austin Powers fan! Hhehehehe

No I was raised a Catholic and went to Sunday School even wanted to be a nun but my parents wouldnt let me. I listened to them in everything they did and said. I first met my x when I was 12 at my mum's work. He is 13 years older than me. I met him again when I was 16 and started to work with mum. He hit on me when I was 17 and got under my skin. My parents were against him from the beginning. (Oh how I wish I had their insight!) I married a month before I was 19 and he was about 32 or 33 I think!

Well to say he took advantage of my naivety would be a huge understatement. I had only ever been with one other person and we never...we;; you get the picture.... So what followed was he gradually turned into a psychotic monster and ended up trying to kill me several times. This was after I was a witness and not going to meetings anymore. However during my time as a witness the verbal abuse began and the irratic behaviour and the psychosis began. I realise now that it was because he wanted my whole life to be about him and his needs. The more I did for myself and grew up the worse he got.

I put myself through local colleges and eventually ended up at University where I did a Bachelor of Social Science. Ended up getting great jobs earning lots of money and then the financial abuse began. After I finished uni and started working the physical abuse began. Pushing me, trying to dominate me and such. Ending up with him trying to strangle me. I decided that night the marriage was over and I would save up to leave as I didnt want to move and have nothing to start over with.

That lasted till the end of April last year when he tried to push me through a window and I walked out that night. Ever since I have been living in hiding but now I am at the point where he no longer has any hold over me. I am learning karate and wouldnt hesitate to use it on him and snap his neck if I had to to defend myself. Sounds drastic and horrible but if you knew him you would understand. He is a louse pure and simple. He is defrauding the government and they seem to encourage him to do it. He is the kind of person with his hand out for everything he can get but would not cross the road to help anyone. HE appears to be so sweet and the type who would do anything for you. Behind the scenes he is a manipulative, control freak who would harm to get his way and has. Of course then he turns around and denys it and believes that if he says it didnt happen, well then it didnt!

Forutnatley for me there is evidence! Anyway so much more happened that is not worth going into! I think my time with the organisation was to try to escape the reality at home. A coping mechanism if you will. THings were really bad and got steadily worse. I cant say everyone in the congregation was uncaring, individuals were to a point. THe elders were a disgrace. THe only time I ever heard from them was to tell me how I should be trying harder to bring my husband into the truth or to exact some punishment. I even had an elder say to me that if I didnt like what they were saying it was too bad, I dont have a husband in the truth to stand up for me so more or less there was nothing I could do about it. I left after that.

If I complained about what was happening no one wanted to know and so on. Lets just sarcastically say I did not believe the elders when they talked about how loving the organisation was and supportive and so on. The truth was that women without husbands in the truth could not be handled by the elders. THey were mostly unskilled men who could not cope with life and didnt know what to say or do around people with real problems! In the end Gods word sounded empty and hollow from their lips and I knew it was not the truth and walked out literally during a meeting and never went back. I have not disassociated myself only because I am not sure how to do that! I havent been ready to do so before but I am ready now. I figure that my former so called friends werent really that. As soon as things got bad they told me to stop complaining and do more witnessing. As if that would solve anything! In the end that is only about filling out a silly form to help create impressive statistics for the org.

Anyway this post is long enough so I will sign off and go searching!

orangefatcat

Welcome Purple,

I am Orangefatcat aka Terry, and hoping to see more of your postings in the future.

Your biography was very interesting. Yes, so many have realized the" truth about the truth",

and isn't it wonderful to be free of the Organization its rules regulations and abuse?

You will find all kinds of friends here. Some are serious, silly,goofy and just plain human beings and the one thing we share as a common bond, " we no longer want to be JW's!!

So I once again say a big welcome.

Orangefatcat

Sassy

Thanks for sharing with us part of your story! I'm so glad you found your way here. I think you will find that you have many things in common with the friends here. I was so glad when Smack helped me find you again. I thought of you through the years and later when I left the JWs, I wondered if you were out or not. And there are you and here you are! Welcome to JWD Purple!!

smack

*poke*

New and questioning