Memorial.. To go or not to go

by Emily1987 46 Replies latest jw friends

  • curiousconfused

    Emily - as someone who is still an elder, Ill just add this. For some Elders, not necessarily the majority, but certainly the more hardcore element (if you have some in your former congo), then periodically turning up, even just for the memorial, will mean you are still "associated" with the organization. This could mean that finding out you are celebrating worldly holidays etc could lead to an outcome you may not want, and ironically make it harder for your mother to see you in the long run......

  • HiddlesWife

    I don't know if my upcoming statement is in conjunction with this thread but there is another reason why some of the R&F (particularly PIMOs) would not want to attend this year's Memorial: The time frames. One of my relatives who is PIMO and planning to go (only because of her spouse and his aunt, who converted his family in the Borg) informed me that a great deal of congregations have their Memorials as late as 10:00, 10:30 or 11:00 p.m.! She commented that this is due to the custom that since "The Lord's Evening Meal is supposed to start at sundown, then it would only make sense for the proceedings to start late" and "An elder told me and ___________(hubby's name) that if it means that the friends would have to leave a KH at midnight, this is due to scriptural and organizational arrangement. One doing so would show loyalty to Jehovah and the F&DSC", blah, blah.

    The above fact really made me think that since the GB sold hundreds of KHs within the past short few years, they have really put the R&F plus any interested ones at a disadvantage and a hardship regarding this situation (i.e., families with many children and elderly ones who do not have adequate transportation, etc.). I'm sure that the GB has figured that the "sheeple-like" ones will make every effort to go--even if it means a great deal of inconvenience for these attendees. Glad I'm not going to attend this year!

  • xJW2003

    I think I'd be tempted. My father is an elder these days, and has remarried - and no one knows that he had a previous wife and three kids.

  • carla

    Wait, your married and your mom told you you had to go? had to?

    I'm with a previous posters who say don't go because it will just give them hope. Does your mom want you to go so you can truly hear something that will make some sort of change in your life or is it so she looks good to the cong? what is her motive?

    You could also suggest a trade out as suggested by a previous poster, go to the reject Jesus celebration if she will spend an equal amount of time reading C of C book with you. Problem solved.

    Do you not see the manipulation going on here? why would you support a cult that is holding your relationship with your mother hostage?

    damn cult.

  • Giordano

    I agree with Carla.

    The only thing I ever attended after my wife and I left this regrettable religion, some 50 years ago. was my sister's wedding, and four family funerals, the very worst thing the JW's hold. Totally unloving.

    The memorial is a crock. A totally meaningless ceremony to celebrate the very few who are qualified for Heaven. And count the numbers attending. It has all the religiosity of a Tupperware convention.

    If you were told to and encouraged to accept this religion and then left it as an adult you have your answer. Apparently your Mom has not grown up. She thinks attending something that you don't want to attend is important.

  • Virran

    You’re not the one causing stress to your mother. It’s this cult that’s responsible and your mother herself. Your mother's “break down” is just a manipulating maneuver on her part. It looks better for her if you’re attending, remember, this cult is all about keeping up appearances. Don’t let yourself get played. And yes, you will awaken the sleeping bear if you will go. And that might be the start of your mother having to shun you if you don’t get back into the fold. Do the right thing, get explosive diarrhea.

  • contramundum

    An old JW friend stopped in his car as he passed me walking through town yesterday. After the usual friendly pleasantries :

    He: "Do you know what's on this Saturday?"

    Me: "Yes"

    He: " Will we see you there?"

    Me: (firmly and decidedly) " No. I will not be going"

    I know its far more difficult when dealing with family and the emotional repercussions that entails , but I have found that being determined and making it clear I will not compromise on my resolve and the issue is not open for discussion works for me.

    That being said, I am always friendly and positive and its clear to anyone who speaks to me how genuinely happy I am with my life now.

    I am one of the lucky ones who has managed to walk away with minimum damage.

    My thoughts are with all those who still struggle with the guilt imposed on them by others.


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