My dad RIP

by ScottyRex 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • ScottyRex

    My dad died 2 weeks ago on sunday. I will miss him so much. He was the funniest most greatest man I have ever known.

    Granted for the first 30 years i wasnt that much keen on him and I don't think he was on me much either.....let me explain.

    Mum and dad met in 1964, mum was the prettiest girl in the town, mini skirts, raised hair, the daintiest figure, she looked the spit of audrey hepburn at breakfast at tiffanys. Dad was mean, hair brylcreemed motorbike and a rocker thru and thru. He would wait for mum on his bike outside the factory she worked in. Mum would make excuses not to see him....but i guess at some point something gave. Mum would spend 2 hours getting ready to meet him at the pub, and dad would start a fight within 5 minutes of getting there.. mum said she would run all the way home. .i guess it was the 60's and dad was tough.

    In 1966 they were married, i looked at the photos today, mum as beautiful as ever, and dad...well i could see what she must have saw in him too, he was kind of handsome like me (lol)

    My sister was born 1968 and i foĺlowed in 1970. To me it was a tough upbringing. Around this time 2 sisters knocked on the door and mum became a witness. Dad had no objections, i guess he was too busy at the pub. They had no money but enough that seemed to be able to allow dad to spend lunchtime and early evenings in the pub, mum worked at the local sweetshop and had enough to get us a 10p mix and the bus fair to get to the meetings.

    Dad always made sure we had a holiday in devon each year and a bag full of presents at xmas i will always remember that.

    He didnt much like me growing up, and painful memories, too many to post on here happened whilst my sister flourished.i wasn't hard dine by just by him, my mum always made up the shortfall.

    l think probably the last straw was the realisation that i was gay at 16 that shook my dad up most. It was bad enough being a witness and upsetting my mum, but to a manly man like my dad, it was just too much. That was the first time i saw them both cry albeit for different reasons. I was not a man in my dads eyes and i was leaving the truth in my mums. I had tried hard to be both but was neither.

    I moved away. Had relationships and barely kept in touch.

    Forward to 2000. 30 year old me and made proper contact. Oh why didn't I do it earlier. I made up my relationship with them both, around a table one sunday over a roast dinner and a bottle of jack daniels dad and we made our peace...he of course could never accept the gay thing, and didnt for years.....however in 2014 my now ex other half picked me up outside and dad said tell him to come in, this has gone on long enough. And so he, after a nervous 10 minutes, did. Dad poured him a JD.

    Thanks dad.

    Mum? Well she like me,my sister and brother are now bereft without him...I spent the last month shaving washing and talking to him. He died sunday 18th. A stroke took him in the bathroom and my sister and me carried him to mums bed. Within 20 minures he was gone. My big tough manly dad. We talked to him gently in his ear to the end.

    Mum is inactive, but i am truly grateful that a sister came round yesterday and spent a couple of hours with mum and made her feel so much better. That meant alot and i am grateful to the other witnesses that have given so much comfort.

    There is so much more to this whole story but it was just sitting here and something I wanted to share whilst its dark and quiet.

    Look after those you love.


  • millie210

    Thank you for sharing from your heart to ours Scott.

    I love that you got those last precious days with your father, caring for him. Im sure that meant a lot to you both.

    Much love to you and your family.

  • Diogenesister

    Oh Scott that touched me so much I read it over and again, just to savour every bit. So heartfelt, simple, straightforward but full to the brim of love.....I think your Dad would have approved.

    And if my sons write a eulogy about me with even half of that love contained, my life will have been worth it. 🌾

    I'm so sorry for your loss. Here's to Dads...everywhere 🍻🍻🍻

  • OnTheWayOut

    Beautifully written. You have some honest and also some good memories. Thanks for sharing that. So sorry for your loss.

  • ScottyRex

    Thanks. I wanted to add I did have a truly great last 18 years wirh dad since that shared bottle of JD in 2000.

    Will be so glad when funeral is out the way.

    Poor mum has lost her mum (my nan) last October and now my dad after 52 years. We will all look after her and cherish memories of dad.

  • carla

    I'm sorry for your loss.

  • dubstepped

    Beautifully written. So sorry for your loss. I know it doesn't make up for the pain of your youth but it sounds like you left things good with him, that you had made amends to the best of his ability, and that is huge.

  • Still Totally ADD
    Still Totally ADD

    ScottyRex so sorry for your lost. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Like your dad my dad was a tough guy and through the years we did not see eye to eye on many things. I feel that pain you are going through. Take care of yourself. Still Totally ADD

  • JaniceA

    Scott, my condolences to you and your family.

    Even when our family relationships are complicated, we are usually still bound to them with love, even when we have tough histories underlying it.

    Losing a parent is hard. I'm sorry for your loss.

  • flipper

    SCOTTY- My deepest condolences to you on the loss of your father. I've lost both my parents in the last year and 3 months and it's tough - no matter how you cut it for sure. Wishing love & peace to you friend at this difficult time for you and your family. Sincerely, Mr. Flipper

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