Sexual Depredation as a function of male society by men of a Certain Age

by TerryWalstrom 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • amicabl

    I have really thought about not posting here but I will.

    I think Pete Zahut summed things up pretty well according to my experiences. I was born in1948 and I have observed family relationships amongst couples who were born as far back as the 1880s.

    There have been all sorts of dramas over the years and yelling and shouting and ignoring ones for long periods etc. I have also had association and friendships with the opposite sex at school ,in office situations, in national service in the army and of course at the KH.

    In the normal world you get to know the girl sufficiently to "chat her up" a little and ask for a date. Being respectful, kind and honest gets you a long way (and I am not being vulgar). They get to know you and things progress usually to an eventual separation for various reasons. I have always thought that was normal. When I was 22 I asked a cute 18 year old to marry me. She said no very firmly but eventually we were married in 1971 and are still married with three nice daughters.

    We were both brainwashed together and baptised in 1975. She is still in but is OK with me being very much out and I can take the pain as the children never came in and are pleased with what I have done. I continue to support her in the "truth" but there is some tension naturally.

    the KH in case some haven't realised it is a weird place. A year after we were baptised a sister turned up alone at the door on a Saturday afternoon knowing my wife would be out and just stood there after a brief conversation waiting, I presume, for an invite in. I am not God's gift to women so I guess she was desperate. Around my age and quite attractive with two boys and no husband This has happened a few times over the years, once on the street with my wife present and the last time in the KH with everyone watching. This time she was thirty years younger than me with a complete infatuation which she eventually passed on to me which at 66 and just having had open heart surgery was a real experience which lasted for about eighteen months with everyone tactfully ignoring it. My wife stated she must have a lousy marriage and made friends with her as much as was possible.

    Reading through this it sounds vaguely fictitious but I can assure you it isn't and I have left out a lot of detail so as not to bore too much.

    Anyway the point I wanted to make is that the women in my family going way back and the women I have personally known are in no way beaten down and I have always found that they are quite adept at finding a way to get what they want or at least trying and don't take no nonsense from the menfolk. I could tell you how my grandmother opened a corner shop in Liverpool during the blitz in ww2 and how successful it was.

    I know there are pigs of men around and what they do and how they brag about it. They end up living on their own or constantly complaining about the missus and they always have massive beer bellies and they only mix with their own kind.

  • pbrow

    There are pigs everywhere. Men and women. Just like there are racists everywhere.

    Things are said to me almost weekly by women that if the table was turned and I said them about women I would be fired yesterday. As with anything else in life, If you do not like things that are said to you then it is up to you to fight for yourself. You cannot count on anyone else to do it for you.

    If Harvey told a 20 year old woman that she had to sleep with him to get the job then he is taking advantage of his position. The 20 year old is free to say "fuck it" and walk away, she is also free to take him up on his proposition. It makes him sleezy, it makes him an opportunist. It also makes the female an opportunist. If she later regrets it, then she regrets it. Experience is an effective teacher.

    I should say I have only heard that Harvey preyed upon young adult women. If he did something illegal he goes from douche bag to criminal.


  • TerryWalstrom

    (How do you know? Did they tell you specifically, "Alan did his thing, but I don't find it degrading or insulting"?

    Or are you interpreting their lack of comment to you, specifically, as acceptance of his behavior?)
    I worked with the same people for about 6 years and most of them had worked together long before I started. I DID ask the women because it struck me as astonishing how they brushed Alan's "comedy" away.
    The consistent reply was that they knew Alan was harmless. He had a sly and quirky sense of humor which was dry.
    It has only just now dawned on my WHY the company policy was founded on subjective individual assessment: each person has a sense of boundaries unique to themselves alone.
    I could arguably compare it to a sense of humor. You can't declare something to be officially "funny" or not funny.
    So, maybe I'm overthinking that situation. (Or is it under thinking it?)

  • amicabl

    I worked with a guy who used to keep a bible on his desk. Always a bad sign. He left but kept coming back to chat with one of the female employees who used to hang her head when he was talking. In the end I asked her what was going on. She seemed relieved to tell me that his wife couldn't have children and he wanted her to have them as some sort of surrogate. I must have been naive because I remember my jaw dropping to the floor. I wanted to report him but she didn't so I resolved to deal with him myself and take the consequences. I am certainly no macho hero but I just don't like bad behaviour and I have met plenty of men who are the same as me. Alan should have been told what he was quietly and repeatedly until he understood. I turned that Jack Lemmon film clip off at the point where the button is pressed. Some people need psychiatric help was my thought at that point.

  • TerryWalstrom

    So why does the cause of feminism need you and the rest of us to die?

    I see civilization in the last few hundred years as chunks of time between World Wars.
    Men went off to fight WWI and left women at home.
    The older men and the younger men stayed behind.
    Each time this sort of thing occurs, there is a power shift.
    The MAN OF THE HOUSE position was filled by either old men or young men who had to "take care of the women."
    This meant hard work and sacrifice.
    Those men were put upon, exhausted, and strained by exigency.
    So what?
    So, the "BAD NATURE" of such men is let loose.
    They have "needs."
    Food on the table. Sex. Respect.
    If those needs weren't met--depending on the man and his circumstances--he might well become demanding, coarse, bullying and abusive.
    Women had VERY FEW resources to survive outside of trading their sex.
    What else could they bargain with?
    I said all the above so I could say this:
    Several generations of men and women were in a crucible which molded their habits, ethos, thinking, core beliefs, and POWER STRUCTURE.

    Those people were hardened. They were forged by forces insuperable. These are Red State folks.
    The generations which came after them were increasingly disgusted.

    The 60's was the first generational BREAK in sex and culture.
    That divide was never healed.
    That generation is one of two worlds.
    Until my BOOMER generation has vanished, the voting influence (vote for Trump, McCain, etc.) will remain powerful enough to create damage.

    Electing Donald Trump was the work of Baby Boomers with American flags, guns, the Bible, and all those "core values" sizzling at white-hot zeal.
    That generation has many double standards about men, women, sex, and behavior in general. We speak with forked tongue because we suffer mightily from cognitive dissonance. It is the aftermath, the blowback, the collateral damage wrought by wars.

    That is why I said what I said.

  • Simon
    If Harvey told a 20 year old woman that she had to sleep with him to get the job then he is taking advantage of his position. The 20 year old is free to say "fuck it" and walk away, she is also free to take him up on his proposition. It makes him sleezy, it makes him an opportunist. It also makes the female an opportunist. If she later regrets it, then she regrets it. Experience is an effective teacher.

    This part always seems to get glossed over because people are scared to explore it. There are undoubtedly people who get ahead because of "who they know" and "what they are willing to do" rather than their abilities. There are people willing to take advantage of that situation too.

    I wonder about the long silences of successful people in Hollywood that supposedly rejected Weinstein. Why not report it? Weren't they successful anyway? What could be a reason for staying silent?

    Make no mistake, I think any guy doing anything like this is an utter sleaze-ball and should be shown up for what they are, but there are also women who are willing to use sex to get ahead. Neither could exist without the other. The truly innocent are made targets due to BOTH sets of behavior but this seems to be a truth that can't be spoken or even asked.

    Anyway, can't wait for this years Oscars so we can all be told by "brave outspoken Hollywood types" how we should live our lives!

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