My "shameless" relationship with my ex wife

by Jayk 36 Replies latest social relationships

  • Jayk
    Jayk

    I've thought about keeping this to myself but I'm still confused on what I should do.. My ex wife(never been a jw) and myself(raised in the org till 16)have been reconnecting these past few weeks. We been divorced for almost 10 years, we got married when we where pretty young, and it didnt last long.. Fast forward 10 years, her and I have been reconnecting and things are getting semi serious.. she got remarried, divorced again, and recently broke up with her gf. So in the past 10 years she has only been with 3 people (including myself) and here comes me "a sucker with no self esteem". I'm not leading her on, I would like to see if things could work again, but I feel we should take things slow for obvious reasons. She is starting to push for us becoming more "official" but her way of doing it is standoffish and I'm trying to help her understand why we shouldnt rush into it. She has kids from her 2nd marriage, and I been trying to explain I don't want to get hurt again or hurt her. Should I pursue this, move on, or how do I help her see why we should take things slow... I'm so f×@#ing confused...

  • Finkelstein
    Finkelstein

    Go slow and reevaluate some of the reasons why you divorced and separated when you were together before, those problems may still exist.

  • Jayk
    Jayk
    First off I was young and immature. Im willing to admit that was the biggest problem. But also I had/have a less than supportive JW family and I didnt realise how much that was gonna play a part. I'm having to come to terms with unless I go back to the org and marry a JW women. My JW family will not except my family.
  •  Kingdavid41
    Kingdavid41

    My first wife not a JW got married when we were 19 and of course I did it because I was told unless I marry her I would have to leave her alone I wasn’t baptized at the time. Our marriage lasted 24 years I went on a server is an elder she never came into the truth, we got divorced after she committed adultery I remarried a JW and thought things would be so much different having a wife who shared my beliefs however I was in for a rude awakening six years later she wanted out and so got an unscriptural divorce neither of us committed adultery. I then left the organization and started seeing my first wife again Who is I mention was never a JW we have a very good relationship but are keeping it that way without considering marriage at this time,

  • Jayk
    Jayk
    King David I'm hoping for a situation like that. I wouldnt mind being in a relationship with my ex wife but I dont think getting "remarried" is necessary. I explained I still have feeling and I dont want to talk to other people.
  • minimus
    minimus

    RUN

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    after my (3rd) wife walked out on me..for which i was soo grateful! --solved a major issue looming--we got talking after about 3 months apart--and no contact.

    i had no feelings for her--except sex--and she felt the same way. so--we started sleeping together again--although living apart. ex-sex can be fun. that lasted about a year. i was also seeing others. this all came to an abrupt end when my 4th wife-to-be re-entered my life.

  • tiki
    tiki

    Love is the key to a strong and lasting relationship. Base line question....are the two of you in love with each other? Just wanting a marriage doesn't make it a good decision. Unselfish loyal love .....both ways is the only way it works.

    Think about it....if you take sex out of the picture....can you live happily ever after? Reality bites.

  • peacefulpete
    peacefulpete

    recently broke up with her gf.

    I hate to ask this but is she having sexual identity issues? If so, the road will be rough going for sure.

  • Jayk
    Jayk

    I'm a way different person than I was 10 years ago..I understand my upbringing has shaped me for better or worse as a adult. what's unfair is I brought up to her saying "you might find someone and not want me anymore so let's take things slow". She got all offended like I would be ok with if she found someone else. Which is what happened after we got divorced the first time. I can usually read a situation and try to descalate it. But for instance, I say let's take things slow you might find someone else. And then the topic is her getting offended because I stated a possibility. Her sexual identity is she has always been Bi-sexual since I known her. She broke up with her gf because she was using drugs again. I think she likes companionship more than she questions her sexual identity.

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