Oh, I just posted this on the main "Friends" section. I hadn't seen it on here until now.
Simon, if you want to delete my post that is fine. Sorry.
Chessa Manion: When A Victim Becomes The Perp
by NonCoinCollector 29 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse
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WingCommander
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joao
Not to find any excuse for anything, but Chessa Manion doesn't look herself... She looks ill, like she lost it!
Troubled upbringing, troubled life, troubled results! And another victim!
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NonCoinCollector
Not to find any excuse for anything, but Chessa Manion doesn't look herself... She looks ill, like she lost it!
When I first saw a posting on Twitter from a trusted JW source that said, "and I worked with this woman." I couldn't figure out what she meant as I couldn't recognize Chessa. You're right, this is not what a healthy 32 year-old woman looks like.
This is about 4 years ago:
And this is Friday:
If it wasn't for the tattoos I wouldn't have recognized her at all.
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Lee Marsh
There are three very strong reasons why some previous victims become perpetrators. One is mentioned above.
Just like all of us, victims can become under the influence of some pretty unhealthy people. Whether that is in a group or with an individual the controls are the same. Unless we learn what those are, we remain susceptable to the crazies around us everywhere.
Think of it as switched addictions. We learn to sacrifice who we are for the rules of another person or group. What I read of the article was that she did not participate but was present. For all we know she could have been tired up and forced to watch. But even if she was being "forced" to watch she was present.
While victims are being abused (as children) they learn to go to another place in their heads. They freeze because as a child they don't have a lot of choices. Fighting or running away are pretty much not going to happen. So they freeze. In that dissociative state they cannot think about what is happening. They think about anything else except being there. The more often they are abused the stronger the dissociation so they do what they are told and block out what is happening. Not the same as forgetting. Some do and others don't.
As they get older dissociating becomes a way to deal with anything you don't like. Just space out and pretend whatever is happening isn't really happening at all. So in a situation like this it is possible for the person to stand there, perhaps follow simple instructions and really ignore what she is seeing. She becomes incapable of taking appropriate actions and protecting the new victims.
There is another option and this one is frequent with male victims but rare with women but it does happen.
Abusing another person is a way to get the power you didn't have as a child. Remember sexual assault on anyone is not about the sex. it is about power. The man clearing wanted power and was using someone else to get it. If he was also controlling Chessa he doubles the power he is stealing from others. If she is participating in any way then she too is trying to capture power from the victim and align herself with the male abuser. In cases where women become sexual abusers there is often other mental health issues stemming from previous abuse but possibly other issues as well.
I would pretty much assume the male abuser was also a victim as a child. These are NOT excuses. They are possible explanations for behavior.
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NonCoinCollector
Thanks Lee Marsh. Covering why this happens matters very much. I keep thinking this is a learned behavior based on childhood trauma. As soon as this story broke, it has bothered me as to why Chessa would allow this to happen based on her outspokenness. Was it all for show? Was it overcompensating? There is so much sadness to unpack in this.
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Simon
I think everyone has an internal battle between what they know they should do, and what they want to do.
That doesn't mean we all want to be axe-wielding psychopathic rapists but know we should really be "nice people" ... everyone's struggles and the extremes of what they want to do is different.
But I think if you look at things this way it's less of a surprise when someone seems to switch from being a campaigner for or against a thing, to being a proponent or perpetrator of a thing.
Similar to how the ultra-Christian TV evangelists gives in to their "inner gay" after years of speaking against it so vehemently, or why the biggest advocate for children can turn out to be a secret pedo.
People know what they should do, they may put effort into doing it, and it may be to mask and suppress what they want to do.
It's sad if they don't recognize this and get the help they need, and instead try to cover it up.
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Beth Sarim
Yeah, I know that pic from above(approx 4 years ago),, and the one last week....you wouldn't even think it's the same Chessa.
This is all so disappointing in the exJW community of late.
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NonCoinCollector
Not many have done videos on Chessa. This one is on Kim and Mikey's channel. If you see any additional news regarding this investigation, please post it.
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silentlamb_silent_no_more
For those who can't get into the link that Kim and Mikey provided in their video, here are the charges brought against Chessa. Makes for harrowing reading and listening. Victim incapable of consent!
Just let that line in bold sink in
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was a new boy
- Sep 26, 2022
'Attorney Alyson McDavitt of the Department of Public Advocacy said...
“Mr. Hogendorn and I have not had an opportunity to review them and I am asking for another pretrial conference,” McDavitt said.
Warren Circuit Judge Steve Wilson set another hearing date for Nov. 8.'