JW Parents and kicking out their children

by NJ501 28 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • NJ501

    Is it a common practice for JW parents to kick their children out of the home, if the child doesn't want to be a JW. (Even though their not disfellowshipped they will still get kicked out for not going to meetings etc.??)

    Do other religions encourage kicking family members out this as well? Or is this a cult practice?

    Does this also mean the parents love is only conditional?

  • konceptual99

    Depends on the parents and the behaviour of the kid.

    In my experience it's not common for a child to be kicked out unless the relationship has really broken down to a large degree. Where I have seen it I have to say that the child has often been behaving really badly but I am sure this is not always the case since much depends on the attitude of the parents.

    Sure, religious differences and having a DFed child does cause conflict and family disruption but I think it would be stretching things to suggest that children are summarily thrown out of the family home for relatively trivial things or simply for saying they don't wish to attend meetings any more. It can and does happen but is not the norm in my experience - usually the opposite. It's not until a child is DFed that their living arrangements are called into question.

  • KiddingMe

    I agree, it depends on the parents and how much they care about how they look to other JWs. Many JW parents require their children to continue meeting attendence while living under their roof.

    I've even heard of body of elders telling a brother that his adult daughter should move out since she no longer wanted to be a JW. The brother took a stand and said he was not going to see his daughter out on the streets. They couldn't do anything about but I'm sure other Jw's would've gave in to that pressure.

    Yes, it is very conditional, even if the parents don't think it is.

  • freddo

    The pressure ramps up more when you are an "appointed man".

    Maybe in the 18 - 19 age range (of the DF'd "child" - even though legally an adult) there is a little slack cut - but once junior hits 20 and is judged by local JW's as being at home for selfish, lazy reasons then it's time to bring pressure to bear on Daddy elder to tell him his "privileges" will be considered if junior remains.

  • Phoebe

    I've have heard of some that have been unceremoniously kicked out. I know I would have been if I had stayed living at home and not gone to the meetings.

    I saw a comment on Youtube where someone knew a sister who said 'if they aren't baptized by 16, their bags will be at the front door.'

    But generally speaking, most parents wouldn't kick their kids out.

  • Half banana
    Half banana

    It also works the other way round, with non JW parents, I was thrown out because I was a witness.

  • freddo

    How old were you "Half banana"?

  • problemaddict 2
    problemaddict 2

    JW parents are encouraged to shun their disfellowshipped children. If they are minors living at home, they do not ask them to be kicked out, and allow normal conversation "not related to spiritual things".

    So that is the policy, but some parents extreme or liberal. As an adult, I have family that does speak to me, and others that don't. I'm not disfellowshipped, s some have taken it upon themselves to shun me on their own.

    Its important to note, if the child no longer lives at home, then they are required to shun them the way they would anyone else. "The spiritual relationship comes before the physical one", is what we would have said.

  • tepidpoultry

    Churches don't generally make official rules as to when to expel their "rebellious" children, JW's are the same in this regard, there is a citation of the Law of Moses that says 'rebellious' children should be stoned to death and then allow parents and others to make their own application, If they say anything specific such as "young folks should not be allowed their driver's license before they get baptized" this is done verbally only, not in writing, so folks (governing body in this case) cannot be held accountable,

    My father started threatening home expulsion when I was 15, I was out at 16, (although I was baptized at 15 I was disrespectful)


  • Still Totally ADD
    Still Totally ADD

    Twenty-twenty years ago our oldest son was DF. He was eighteen just out of high school. He was scared to death we was going to kick him out but that never came to our mind. Instead we try to help him in anyway we could even sending him to a trade school so he could support himself. To this day he is using those skills to support his family. During this time I was servering as a elder. When the CO came for his visit he did every thing in his power to remove me but the body of elders said no to him. He made sure a letter was sent with the congregation report to the WT. Also many of our so called friends marked us and had nothing to do with us. After one year our son was reinstated. He finished his trade school and started working. In other words we stuck with our son through thick and thin. Forward fifteen years when my wife and I woke up and left the cult, guess what happen? He started to shun us and continues to do so. All I am saying it works both ways. Still Totally ADD

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