by Fadeaway3pointer 60 Replies latest jw experiences
Dear Dad,
Obviously we do not believe that JW’s have "the truth," but we love you and would never cut you off or shun you because family is important to us.
We would also never try to lay a guilt trip on you or emotionally blackmail you in an effort to make you conform to our beliefs or make you pretend to believe things which you don’t. - (See Awake!, July 2009, p. 29)
We hope you will respect our stand on this.
Sincerely,
(still) your once beloved child
It does hurt deeply. NO ONE should have to go through this. NO ONE. The only thing that you could do is be up front and honest with them but unfortunately it will probably be the same outcome (shunning). They told you in the letter that they would have contact with you only for "family emergencies."
They want you back 100% into the cult or they will have no contact with you.
I'm so sorry. I hate what this cult has done to people and families and hope one day it will pay for it. I hope I live long enough to see it happen.
FA3Pointer's Dad: Our hearts hurt enough already.
Fucking JWs!
They are the ones that do the shunning, destroying family relationships and friendships, and then they have the gall to act like the injured party.
Their victim mentality keeps them in invisible chains.
Let's review: It's a cult!
I have the exact same story. Exact same. Only difference is I da'ed. I realized these people spent their entire lives in this religion and it is all they know. I jo longer want to rock the boat or cause them stress.
I also don't want to send mixed signals to my family.
Ultimately I started giving them their space. They call twice a year or when they need something. I help them out, have a 2hr convoy on the phone and go about my life.
Sometimes you just have to let people live.
They may seem as if they are being disingenuous in regards to being hurt. They actually believe you and your family who they do love are going to die. It really does pain them as parents.
My advice is that you accept your parent's decision and do not respond. Let them keep wondering about your reaction since you are supposed to be dead to them anyway.
Just wait until urgent family business requires your involvement and then show them what unconditional love looks like.
Meanwhile if you have faith continue to pray God's blessing on them to come to their senses.
The sad part about all of this is, they will contact you if they need financial help or physical assistance. When the congregation get's tired of taking care of them, they will encourage them to reach out to their children. I have witnessed this before and it is disgusting. You are dead to them UNTIL they need you.
I agree with Vanderhoven7's advice.
The typical JW uber letter. It's all about them, not you. You have left US and you have hurt US.
It seems to me either your mum or dad have let slip something to someone, or someone has thrown them under the bus for some reason over you.....and someone has stated something about the kids having girlfriends/boyfriends or seeing Xmas lights etc. In other words they have definitely come under outside pressure.
May I ask does your brother/in law shun you?
I cut out the quote above because as it seems your parents are sensitive, kindly types perhaps saying that to them may make them think....”it’s all about YOU, how YOU Feel/hurt typical Jehovah’s Witness. Prepared to sacrifice the world as long as you’re ok”.its all on their terms, if THEY have necessary family business they will call, if YOU DO ha!! Fat chance you’d hear from them (for most j-dubs, I don’t say in your specific case, there are exceptions I know}
Harsh? Yes. Surely. Ask your dad if it’s more important he’s an elder or your father. Sorry I don’t think you should ignore them. That’s just what watchtower wants.
Possibly. Not sure what triggered this as we have never put up lights. We have done a tree in past for a day or two but kept it hidden. We have exchanged gifts with our children for over a decade, but we have avoided doing any type of Christmas display due to being sensitive about getting “outed” and need to keep peace with the parents.
I havent seen or spoken to my Brother and also my Brother-in-law in years. They and their wives actively shun us. They all are pious pricks
My wife’s parents and until today my parents have not shunned us - see and speak to them regularly.
To me it reads like a "Letter of Termination" from a corporate HR office.
Fanatical religious people can't think clearly. I remember many years ago someone was putting their personal rubbish in my business dumpster. I decided to go through it and see who it belonged to. In the rubbish was a letter from a devout Pentecostal deacon to his son. The deacon had written a similar letter to his son as the one that you received. His son had decided that he didn't want to be a Pentecostal anymore and the father was playing the same distancing game as your parents. The only difference was that the father knew his son was going to burn in HELL. We love our parents (well mostly) but we can't live our lives for them any more once we grow up. I feel bad for you but you have a wonderful nuclear family of your own that deserves all of your love and devotion. Best wishes.
