I asked a good friend of mine, who happens to be an elder, if his mom or his wife ever caught him practicing the "secret sin" of masturbating!
He looked at me kinda funny and said, "that's a weird question to ask".
So I said, "yea it is but you didn't answer the question".
So he said, "the answer to your question is NO".
So I said, "you had a good hiding place-huh".