You Just Can't Make This S--t Up!

by FedUpJW 37 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • atomant

    The burning question is will ginger bread men inherit gods kingdom?

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    When my kids were in Kindergarten my wife had a few of the little ones from the Hall over for a little kids party at our house.

    One of the activities she planned was to make Gingerbread Houses. Everything went well until one Sister arrived with her child and was utterly horrified to see all the little JW kids going to town on their little houses.

    From her reaction, you'd have thought they were bowing down to Satan himself. Her argument was that making Gingerbread men and Gingerbread houses was a Christmas activity so it was Pagan. The other mothers were perplexed as to what to do but my wife told her that she was free to go if that's how she felt.

    The sister left and later went to the elders, but nothing more came of it. Flash forward about 3 years, this same sister left her husband and 2 kids for some guy she hooked up with on the internet. She ruined the family and the husbands finances. A few years later we heard that the guy she hooked up with, wanted to get involved with "wife swapping". She couldn't tolerate that so she left him and wanted her original life back but her former husband had already remarried an Non JW and her non-gingerbread eating kids didn't want anything to do with her.

    Anyway.....the point is that these people who nit-pick over these inconsequential matters are typically one step away from doing something majorly wrong themselves. They are usually heavily involved in some sort of self delusion in order to reconcile the real world and imaginary world they are straddling.

  • sparky1

    What do you get when you cross a gingerbread man with a Smurf?

    A Jehovah's Witness' worst nightmare

  • MrRoboto

    You guys just made me realize that I miss the cookies that I used to enjoy as a kid, when we did Christmas (I wasnt born in)..

    All sorts of cookies but especially the ginger-bread cookies were nice.

  • OrphanCrow
    sparky: What do you get when you cross a gingerbread man with a Smurf?
    A Jehovah's Witness' worst nightmare

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    My dad was a bread delivery man, back in the '50s. He had a ginger beard.

    He was a ginger bread man.

    But he came into the truth and gave all that up.

  • Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho
    Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

    Urgh, I got a dummy text from an uber Dub on Jan 5 this year:

    JW: Hey, I have a question for your dad as the only article is in a WT91 that I can't seem to access. [Fiance's name]'s grandma just died, is it appropriate to send flowers to his mum. It doesn't seem to be an issue from google bbut I just want to make sure it's not pagan or something???

    Me: I'll check his bound volume library when I go over this afternoon. They put flowers in a KH for a funeral, hon, so don't sweat too much over it. X

    JW: YeAh I thought it was fine but I rather play it safe then regret later. Thanks heaps, it's just not available electronically

    Me: [MMS of Sep 15 1991 WT Questions from Readers, "Is it Right for Christians to send flowers for a funeral?"]

    JW: Ahhhh so it's okay. Thank you so much!!!!

    Me: You can send flowers after all, just not in the shape of a cross or pentagram, lol.

    So there you have it, folks. She could send flowers to show some respect for somebody's loss without fear of worshiping a pagan god, resulting in Jehovah smiting her at Armageddon. Bitch be like:

  • zeb

    In Australia we have biscuits (cookies) called "Anzacs". These were a tough oatmeal type biscuit that was made by mums and sent off to their men at war and named after the soldiers.

    Good grief! I have been munching on soldiers!

  • Satans little helper
    Satans little helper

    Tangent but similar - back in the late 80's I was talking to someone in the cong about how mum had just talked dad into buying us a microwave oven, this person told me they wouldn't buy a microwave until the org had published an awake article on them.

    Seems so innocuous doesn't it? for me it was a bit of a watershed moment when I realised that these people were too mindless to be able to make decisions for themselves over even the smallest matters.

  • WTWizard

    As they want every day to be as lousy as possible, anything that might break up the drudgery is banned. The purpose of banning holidays is to prevent the drudgery from being broken up, so anything that normally comes with the holidays is also banned.

    And this includes things not usually exclusively Christmas but that are common around December. Eggnog, candy canes, peppermint stick anything, pumpkin pie, and similar items fall here. There is nothing explicit banning such items. However, all it takes is for the hounders to give a talk about being careful about slipping up and celebrating the holiday(s) by mistake, and then you indulge in any of the above, and you could fall in for "brazen conduct". After all, it is possible to make a special day just from these items if things are too dull, so banning it would only ensure the drudgery of endless field circus and boasting sessions continues uninterrupted.

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