Just lost our parents....

by 2escaped lifers 48 Replies latest jw friends

  • franklin J
    franklin J


    You have my support and encouragement. You have much courage; in your decision, and much open mindedness in still keeping your home open to them. That is a wonderful example. The best "example" ( revenge is too strong a word) is to go on and lead a normal life without any of them. Despite the bumpy road ahead of you; be strong and move on. You can do it. Make new friends and have new experiences, and all of this will become a distant memory. Keep a positive attitude, and never "empower" them to do you any more injustice or emotional harm.

    Good luck to you and your wife


  • morty

    (((((((((((((((((( Bradon & Family)))))))))))))))

    So sorry to hear that you will have endure this wrong shunning,,,,If we really knew all this before we all became jws, Do you think we would have become Jws? That is the question that comes to my mind every time I hear about family shunning other families......They really dont offer this information when you are studying, don't they....Madning this all is.....Very, very sad as well....I guess to,when your born to the religion, you dont know any diffrent....The whole think boggles my mind on shunning......If they only relised the hurt they cause for families....

    Bottem line, it is all wrong!

  • cruzanheart

    (((((Brandon and family))))) I deeply sympathize with your situation. You are very brave to take the stand that you have, even if it does result in the loss of family members. If your children are like ours (ages 10 and 7), all they will see is how weird it is that Jehovah's Witnesses won't associate with anyone outside of their religion. Wait until they start networking with the school kids and have play dates and birthday parties and real FRIENDS! They'll love it! My kids do, and we're able to make the point with them that their new friends would never shun them just because they don't go to the same church. And we asked them "do you think God would approve of that?" -- point taken.

    If you start feeling anxious or panicky about your decision, please seek some professional help, because it is very VERY difficult to leave this religion without some kind of negative reaction. If it's not a full-fledged cult, it sure comes damn close.

    And if you would like to make some new friends, consider hopping in the car with the fam and driving to Dallas in a few weeks to attend the latest Apostafest weekend! I promise it will be fun and healing for you!



  • Frantic

    Just when you thought your day couldnt any worse, after reading your post Brandon, my day managed to get worse.
    I am ashamed that your parents would stay tru to the organisation and not you! It makes me angry....and I disagree 100% with their decision to shun. I hate to delve into details Brandon......but did your parents cry? I hope they did......

    What's sad is, ppl in this organisation would prefer to go Witnessing only to have a small proportional chance of converting someone (most of the time - a mouth full of abuse - a release the hounds scenario - or sometimes even spat on, telling the witnesses they're not welcome!). Why would any parent prefer abuse from a stranger than love from their own children??? its shocking and completely unjustified. Family should be the greatest organisation of all....


  • BluesBrother

    Just had to add my words of condolances. My heart goes out to you and family.

    I feel sorry for your parents too. Behind the blinkers they are, I am sure normal loving people. The WTS has such a hold on their lives that they are made to feel sure that they are doing the right thing and pleasing God by this action. We used to practice the same faith, and it seemed logiical to us then, right?

    Perhaps they will have something happen that will open their eyes. Maybe in time this will be the thing?

    It angers me now to re read 2 John and appreciate that a scriptual passage that specificly refers to those who deny the ressurection of Jesus, is missused to shun those who reject the WTS. It may not have meant the sort of shunning that we see practised today, anyway.

    The elders havent caught up with me yet, but I am sure that they will. (My dub wife is wise enough to keep her mouth shut about me) . My time will come too

    Bear up , You have not left the truth but found it.

  • Mulan

    That is so sad. They do NOT have to be that way either. It's their decision how to treat their family members, but many of them give in to pressure from others. My mother has never shunned us, and defends us to those in her congregation too.

    It's just another form of blackmail.

    I am so sorry you and your children are having to go through this.


    (((((2escaped lifers)))))

    I'm so sorry to hear ... unfortunately it is the nature of the jw beast ... the cold heartless shunning ...

    I am a shunned mom ... it is a very painful fact of life...

    Life goes on, though. It might help them to see that you choose a happy life for yourselves without the dubisms. I think that is the best education we can give the jws ... for them to know there is happiness outside dubland ... ' cuz there certainly wasn't inside the borg!

    Know that you are loved and supported here!!!



  • Piph

    Ugh, what a horrible thing. I completely empathize. (((((HUGS)))))

    Cruzanheart is right...go to the apostafest if you can! I went to one a couple of months after I was mentally free (a few mos. before I told my parents) and I made a new best friend there, which was sorely needed after I started to get shunned. It will make a big difference.

    I'm really glad you got out before your kids became indoctrinated. Good for you. :)

    Best of luck to you.

  • shera

    (((((((((((((((((Brandon and Wife)))))))))))))))))))) and ((((((((((((((((((Children)))))))))))))))))))))


  • fran

    Brandon and family,

    So sorry to hear of your situation,I can only begin to imagine how you must feel,Shunning is a terrible ordeal,i have experienced this recently but only from friends and that hurt,Family..well that is really hard.The emotional roller coaster ride of leaving JWS is bad enough,You see how far away from scriptures they have gone,they are a law unto themselves.Church discipline is scriptural,but like everything JWS do they put their own meanings onto it,and take it to extremes.

    Praying for you,


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