The way I look at it is this - if you want a divorce from someone it's not just good enough to say "I'm done with you", you need to do it officially or it isn't real. You have to "play their game", complete the forms, pay the filing fees, get your grounds, etc. And it feels a whole lot better to be the one in charge and instigate the divorce proceedings, than be the one sitting passively by being served with papers. Only when the divorce is final are you truly free and can you truly move on. See where I'm going with this? That's my opinion, anyway. So I'm drafting a letter of disassociation to send to the Elders at my old congregation, just a few lines. Thanks for all your suggestions.
And, yes, I'm starting divorce proceedings from my husband as well. Good times all around. I only wish I could simply send him a letter and it would be done, but I have to "play their game" wink wink