Do You Consider The Ones You Left Behind In The Organization as Bro/Sis? (page 2)

gumby

I'll have to agree with gadget on this one.

People seem to think because witnesses shun you.....they are not real friends. To many witnesses.....you are now like a person who steals things at night and you don't give a shit. You have purposely chosen a path of defiance and you don't care. This is how they see you. They have been told that those who leave Jehovah are selfish, independant, unrightous, unthankful, lovers of themselves...........and this makes it easy for former friends to shun you. Most do not see the real side of you.......only what they have imagined in their head that you have become.

Gumby

FlyingHighNow

People seem to think because witnesses shun you.....they are not real friends.

The problem is that often you were treated like a cast off merely for having misfortune that made you irregular in your meeting attendance. In my case I had terrible problems pile up that the friends knew about fully well but they still treated me like I was suspect for faltering.

Are they my brothers and sisters? I think all of us here on earth are brothers and sisters. Brothers and sisters don't always get along. Brothers and sisters don't always like each other or speak to each other. I still consider all exjws my brothers and sisters. We all have a common bond and ground. We all used to greet each other at the hall and conventions as brothers and sisters. Why does this have to change when we leave the org?

The brothers and sisters at the hall are misguided. They are still brothers and sisters though.

Heather

gumby

I think the replies on these types of subjects......all depends on how well you were liked, how long you were in and how involved, and your experience after exiting. I was well known and liked and had a warm tight congregation.....and so I still see many as friends and good people. Most of them were good people and I got along with nearly all of them. Many never felt welcome by others or liked and loved. Many had some bad experiences leaving and are very bitter still.

Gumby

Special K

No.. I most certainly do NOT.

I think its still part of that loaded language thing..that programing thing.

Calling people who are not your fleshly brother or sister......To call them your brother in sisters set me up to feel like they were part of my family.

I can love someone just "like they were my brother or sister".... but they are still not that. so I refuse to let any organization lead me into thinking that way anymore.

sincerely my feelings on the matter

Special K

patio34

You know this is a thoughtful question. I'm going to answer it in another sense. Because "brothers and sisters" are religious titles, as it were, and i'm not religious anymore, that term has no meaning any longer.

It's the same as when I was Catholic growing up and left: i certainly didn't consider priests as 'father' any more either.

As far as friends that are JWs, they no longer would consider me a friend if they knew my feelings about the WT, but i no longer consider them as friends, because we no longer have anything in common. I really couldn't be that close to any really religious person, because of having such a difference in viewpoint, so how could we be close friends? My close friends now tend to be non-religious people.

Besides, they were "fair-weather" friends, imo, because it superficially only applied when you were doing everything the WT said. I think it's that way with most of them and there are very few close, real friends. The ones I was closest to don't even know why I left, but they dropped me fast, not shunning me, but very limited contact with me.

But it doesn't hurt me because I would have been the same way in the interest of protection my "spirituality" back when I was a JW.

Pat

darkuncle29

All of my family is now unassimilated, and my best friends are out too.
There are a few others who I still in that I care for without question.

I am not aware of any who shun me, as I moved 200 miles away.

zen nudist

I consider all people as part of the one whole of which I am center from my own perspective... I always seek to remember that they are a part of me and any emotions I feel for them is held within me and can harm me if negative more than it may harm them.

I find many forget very quickly what they would have done if they had stayed inside... they would have shunned as easily as they are being shunned. After all, we do have the concept of though love in the NON-JW world which has shown sucess and active JWs are CONvincED that they are doing just that. I recall hearing how we, as JWs had the BEST friends in the world because they had been hand picked by Jehovah. [read WT].

Lets face it, we love most those who reflect the qualities we admire in ourselves and want for ourselves and shun those who violate them...even to the point of desiring their destruction at extremes.[ie HATE=murder]

If you, as a JW were paying attention, you knew what would happen to you if you left, why feel it is unfair now when you probably agreed with it then?

Country_Woman

No, because I no longer feel a tie of friendship. There happen to be a large distance yet.

Ofcourse there are a few I like, but as friends, not as brothers or sisters.

Undecided

I don't have any real friends who are JWs. I havent associated with any of the congregation in 30 years. I don't have many friends. My brother is my best friend and we only spend Mondays together bowling. We meet at McDonalds almost every day and talk with some of the old farts there. I have a friend who rented my little house next door and we spend some time together. So I guess I don't consider any JWs as brothers or sisters.

Ken P.

Sassy

I am still finding out where I stand with some friends. I lost most but a one or two I hear from a little. Only because I think they are sure this is only a temp thing and I will be back.. and by taking to me, perhaps they can get me to return. I guess I hadnt' thought of them as in terms of brothers or sisters, but more in terms of, they were my friends. The situation has changed though. Things aren't the same.

Do You Consider The Ones You Left Behind In The Organization as Bro/Sis?

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