All the talking is all good and well but at some point you may have to agree to disagree. My jw didn't join up until we had been married for a very long time (longer than many marriages today). Finally, there was no getting through to him on the jw thing and there was no way in hell I would ever become one. Now? we do not discuss anything jw related, not a word. I do not leave apostate material around and he doesn't leave jw litter-ature around. Kind of an unspoken rule. Yes, he goes out in fs and to meetings and it still drives me crazy but I say nothing. In turn he can't say much about the Christmas tree going up and decorating the house!
We found a way to still go and have fun,vacations, dinners, family and so forth. Those first few years of him joining the cult were sheer hell I don't wish upon anybody and I don't care to repeat. I physically, emotionally and mentally could not keep doing the jw discussion thing. I would be in a loony bin if we still kept it up. In my mind his loony bin is the kh (ha, just kind of kidding).
Life will never be the same for you and your wife no matter what you decide. It can get better than it is now though if you both want it.
She is probably scared to death from her jw mindset. If you are able, show her love, bring her flowers, make her coffee and bring it to her, make her dinner, do something nice even if you don't feel like it. Make the effort, find a way back to each other and it can get pretty darn nice again. Not the same, but with love again.
She may need to know you are not becoming some devil worshiping, drug addled, fornicating apostate. You are still the same person who simply chooses to believe differently.
I know in my mind I have my pre-jw days I look so fondly on and sometimes still miss terribly and I am sure my jw wishes with all his heart that we could go together to the kh.
Wishing you well whichever road you take.
