Craziest Speculations You’ve heard about the end and paradise

by Addison0998 38 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • karter

    The birds are having more offspring so they can eat all the dead can't make this up.


  • Still Totally ADD
    Still Totally ADD

    I remember out in service we was talking about the big A when a sister in the back seat said god will destroy everything except shopping malls. We ask why will he leave them alone and she said because where else will we be able to go shopping and relax. Everyone in the car just was speechless. Still Totally ADD

  • Addison0998
    yes @scratchme1010 I knew a girl who thought she would be able to pick out what she looked like in paradise, where do they come up with this
  • sir82

    I knew a girl who thought she would be able to pick out what she looked like in paradise, where do they come up with this

    Twilight Zone reruns?

  • stuckinarut2

    We will still be able to use all the machinery to clean up the new world.

    Machinery that runs on oil based fuels no less ? wtf? who is going to produce that??

  • skin

    Also any future planning, (well anything more than 2 years away), is a waste of time because we all know that the end will come before then.

  • James Mixon
    James Mixon

    No one will drown while swimming , break your arm (or any body parts), have a cold, headache, toothache, slip and fall and break your neck, in other words there will no accidents in paradise. Folks will be walking around all day eating watermelon size apples, grapes and other fruits and happy as hell...

  • Dunedain

    I remember an Elder saying that all these white and black kids walking around with headphones in their ears, and reciting rap lyrics, were being controlled by demons, and it truly shows that these are the last days.

  • ShirleyW

    I remember my mother told me that at her Tuesday night bible study mtg, the conductor went around the room and asked everyone there what kind of animal did they want in their back yard when the new system was here, mind you she told me that, like that was going to interest me in attending the mtgs again - smh

    I posted this last week in another thread (someone else posted it first but I keep busting out laughing and shaking my head every time I read it) but this quote below still takes the cake for me, First Prize in the looniest thing a JW has ever said:

    A sister told me that since she had worn a bathing cap when she was baptized, she was afraid her head wouldn't make it into the new order.
  • neat blue dog
    neat blue dog


    Speaking of Uriah and David, I remember one public talk that said they'd put on a concert together.

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