Craziest Speculations You’ve heard about the end and paradise

by Addison0998 38 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  pale.emperor

  Here's some:
  

  1. We'll all be naked again because that's how god created Adam and Eve.
  2. We'll all speak ancient Hebrew because that was the original language.
  3. We'll figure out how to make cars and machines run on water because our brains will be perfect and will figure it out.
  4. There'll be no more rain because god will restore the water canopy above their earth where the rain came from.
  5. Extinct animals will be re-created.
  6. There'll be no more alcohol.
  7. Eventually we'll stop having kids and the last generation of kids will be born without genitals.
  8. Eventually we'll stop having "that" sort of relationship and will just be asexual and happy.
  9. Our resurrected spouses wont be married to us anymore.
  10. Our resurrected spouses will be married to us still.
  11. Our resurrected spouses wont be married to us anymore.
  12. Our resurrected spouses will be married to us still.
  13. We dont know... it's best not to think about it.
      

  My favorite one is from one of my ex-gf's dad. He was "anointed"... well, sometimes he was and other times he wasn't so every couple of years he'd stop partaking and other years he would. Anyway, one time when he thought he wasn't anointed and my then-gf asked him why he said "because I've just thought, i'd quite like to ride on an ostrich in the new system".

  Last i heard he's anointed again. Apparently, god chose him... of all people... to be up there with him ruling over us.
  
• 

  ShirleyW

  1. Our resurrected spouses wont be married to us anymore.

  1. Our resurrected spouses will be married to us still.

  1. Our resurrected spouses wont be married to us anymore.

  1. Our resurrected spouses will be married to us still.

  I remember a year or so after my dad died and my mom was talking to one her friends who lost her husband a decade previously, she was saying the above " well I heard the brothers are now saying that we will still be married in the new system". "The Brothers" have the insight to know what's going to happen in the new system? What she should've said was seven old guys in Brooklyn are playing with the hearts of all their followers who blindly follow any BS they just happen to come up with.

  sometimes he was and other times he wasn't so every couple of years he'd stop partaking
  one time when he thought he wasn't anointed and my then-gf asked him why he said "because I've just thought, i'd quite like to ride on an ostrich in the new system".

  Yup, that sounds exactly like the kind of faithful servant Jehovah wants to be surrounded with floating around up there in heaven
  
• 

  Are you serious

  That we can live forever on earth in perfection That elders will be princes on Earth. Old people will become young again. Dead people will be resurrected. There will be no more death, pain, suffering, etc. 144,000 wackos will rule over the paradise earth. We will have time to learn anything we want so we won't be bored. I will be able to have a lion or tiger as a pet. I guess we will only eat fruit, veggies and bread. Everyone will be smiling all of the time and dressed in their culture's clothing.

  I know there's many more that I heard or read about from some old farts in NY but I can't think of them at the moment.
• 

  pale.emperor

  That we can live forever on earth in perfection That elders will be princes on Earth. Old people will become young again. Dead people will be resurrected. There will be no more death, pain, suffering, etc. 144,000 wackos will rule over the paradise earth. We will have time to learn anything we want so we won't be bored. I will be able to have a lion or tiger as a pet. I guess we will only eat fruit, veggies and bread. Everyone will be smiling all of the time and dressed in their culture's clothing.

  More specifically, we'll all be wearing 70s slacks walking about with lions.

  
  
• 

  James Mixon

  "Old people will become young again". I wonder at what age will they stop growing young??? It's funny when you think about it, one day you wake up and your butt starts to firm up (WTH) or baby teeth appear, hair growth on your head and not in your ears or nose.
• 

  redvip2000

  Sharks, crocodiles, lions, and wolves will all eat straw in the new system."
  Then why do they all have sharp teeth, claws, etc.?
  "The Awake says they were originally designed to help them eat tough fruits and vegetables. For example, a lion could use its claws and teeth to rip open a pineapple."

  How strange it is that the animals today that eat tough fruits and vegetables don't need claws and sharp teeth.
• 

  Vidiot

  It's funny.

  When I was still in, the older I got, the more (besides implausible) soul-crushingly depressing the WT's "New System" began to sound to me (especially how often - I lost count - the "no sex" idea was brought up... I mean, jeezus, people, really?)...

  But no movies, either? No rock music? Having to learn ancient Hebrew, for fukkssakes???

  If you're still a believer, and you list 'em all together, I swear, it's enough to make you wanna slit your wrists.
• 

  Lost in the fog

  When famous gay rock stars commit suicide, and we hear "he'll be one of ours in the New World, Jehovah will give him a chance to learn the truth."

  Why?

  Oh and death severs the marriage tie. So how do I welcome back my dead loved parents since they will simply be 2 single people. I won't be part of their family, and then their ancestors won't be. Etc, etc.

  And then we'll get to colonise all the other planets in the universe.
• 

  blondie

  One sister said Jehovah will make her forget she ever had her DF children.

  Some jws base this on Isaiah 65:17

  17 For look! I am creating new heavens and a new earth;+

  And the former things will not be called to mind,*

  Nor will they come up into the heart.+