Life is changing for me: no pioneering, got a job!

by Skepsis 63 Replies latest jw friends

  • James Jack
    James Jack

    My guess is The ones telling you to Pioneer, are not Pioneering themselves right now!

  • Landy

    If you don't want to be a MS anymore then the easiest way to do it is probably to just to become unreliable in your assignments, do less, refuse talks due to other commitments, illness etc (a new job will be very useful in this).

    Don't worry about not being seen as in good standing - if your goal is to fade away then that will happen anyway. Just make sure you keep your mouth tight shut on any beliefs you may have and just blame commitments of work for your non attendance.

    oh - and be careful how much identifiable info you put into on here!

    Good luck!

  • WTWizard

    If they will not accept that you want to be able to do a reasonable and prudent amount in field circus instead of pious-sneering, perhaps the best thing is to explain to them that, unless they stop badgering you to continue pious-sneering, you won't be doing anything at all. And that means no field circus, no boasting session attendance, no Worldwide Damnation Fund donations--no nothing.

  • ToesUp

    The key thing you said in your post is..."they elders have NO empathy." You are 100% correct on this.

    My spouse and I are currently watching our family members struggle financially. They are almost 70 years old. None of them went to college, they pioneered and went off to Bethel. They look and sound so beat down and discouraged. Trust me when I say to you....TAKE THE GOOD JOB. You have your education, now go use it.

    The only reason they (the Elders) are discouraging you, is because you do a lot of tasks that they don't want to do. They are "using" you.

    Move forward. You have a lot of life before you. We left in our late 40's and even we have a lot of life ahead of us. Our families in their late 60's do not. They have wasted a life.

    Good luck and hugs to you. You sound like a brilliant guy!

  • Giordano

    You've been hard wired from birth (If you were a born in) to believe the JW nonsense. So yes you've got a right to feel depressed and unsettled. You have started the process of rewiring yourself, think about it as an upgrading process one that is improving your mental capacity. That kind of stuff can give you a headache.

    Now you will have to fake if for a little while.

    The best solution is to move as soon as you can. A different congregation will not be able to put this same kind of pressure on you. And if you don't reach out just turn in minimal time (make it up) start your fade, if that's what you want to do. A move will insulate you from all of this drama. Out of sight.....out of mind. Use that to your advantage.

    Your approaching age thirty. Jesus got baptized at 30 then preached for a couple of years.

    You have already put in more time in active preaching then Jesus did.

    You've nailed it with the ever late Armageddon teaching. I left in the mid 1960's with my wife. And Armageddon's coming was the mantra back then too.

    We made a new life raised our family made new friends and both of us feel that we made this earth just little better by concentrating on community and friends.

    We made a mistake by pioneering and not going to college you are obviously smarter then we were. Trust yourself.

  • neat blue dog
    neat blue dog

    Hey Skepsis, sorry for changing the subject, but considering you were recently a pioneer, do you have on your phone or tablet the pioneer school book in jwpub format, for use in the JW Library app? The file name should be "pt14_E.jwpub", and wifibandit can help you leak it.

  • ToesUp

    Another question...those Elders that are telling you not to quit, are they themselves full time pioneering and working a full time job?

    We have a family member who has 5 kids and had to work additional hours to support his large family. He was an elder and wanted to step down. The Body of elders tried talking him out of it. He asked the brothers if they would chip in to help support his large family. Guess what? They did not push it further. This family member is no longer a JW. He saw the abuse this organization lays upon its member and exited. His children and wife wife are all out too.

    Ask the Body of Elders to help with your finances and see what kind of response you get. lol Tell them you can remain a pioneer and continue with your responsibilities IF they help support you. That is one thing WT and it's members will never do....HELP YOU. They may bring a meal over when you need it but will never really HELP YOU. It's amazing!

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    Absolutely brilliant Skepsis.

    You have a P.M.

  • Xanthippe

    Congratulations on your degree and your new job. Very well done. If you want to stop being a MS use the depression as the reason. Don't exhaust yourself trying to work full time and work for that religion. When you get even more ill they won't help you, they'll just step over your body and call you spiritually sick. Take care of you.

  • breakfast of champions
    breakfast of champions
    But how can you step down as MS?

    I can't tell you what to do, but here's what happened to me:

    I was an elder, and had a MAJOR emotional breakdown. Started seeing all sorts of doctors. Everyone in the cong knew there was something really wrong with me. The elders were actually quite understanding and I stayed on as an elder for about a year.

    After a year, I had really made no progress mentally. I was still falling apart constantly (I also had no idea yet that I was in a cult). I went to the COBE (or whatever they were called at that point) and tearfully told him I couldn't go on being an elder and that at times I truly felt that there was no god.

    And that was it. Next CO visit I was deleted. Didn't even have to say anything to the CO.

    I guess what I'm saying is that even if you have doubts as to god's existence, they will not DF you, and they will be perfectly willing to have you "step down." However, if you express doubts as to the BORG, you're out.

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