A month ago I decided to register in this board. I had decided to step down pioneering but was frightened about the consequences. I had finished my university degree some months before (despite disaproval from brothers in my congregation) and I had to choose: continue pioneering and working in jobs with no future or starting a career, working full-time.
I was thinking to postpone the decisiton but... I was fed up with preaching. I couldn't stand for more time. And then, a week ago I got a job! So I preached with an elder and told him I was quitting pioneering.
Firstly, the brother encouraged me to continue pioneering insisting he knows others who are able to work full-time and pioneering. I told him clearly I couldn't do it and that I had other reasons to step down as I want to have a normal life. I've been pioneering, leaving college until last year I resumed university and got my degree and I'm almost 30 years old. I need to start living my own life. I've been suffering for deppresion for a long and need to stop.
This brother told me he could understand my reasons. But then at the meeting, another elder told me how is possible that I'm turning away from my service to Jehovah. He told me I'm selfish as the end is near and there's a shortage of young brothers in the Org. No empathy for my situation, just thinking in the needs of this sacred Organisation!
I'm still serving as MS with lots of responsabilities to do and another elder insisted on this. He told me: "Brother Skepsis, you are MS and we hope you have more responsibilities in the future. We count on you".
I don't know what my next steps will be. I thought I would quit pioneering in March or April and I had to advance this as I was feeling very deppresive and presured in my life.
Now I have more time for me and a perspective of a better life here, not in the Paradise coming just around the corner. I'll thinking what to do next. I have a lot to lose as all my life is in the Org but at the same time I have so many doubts that I don't know what to do.
I'm thinking about getting new friends outside the congregation but then I feel like it's very hard. I don't want to go out from the Org from the moment but I feel so bad about serving as a MS. You can step down as pioneer and still being seen as a good standing brother although some may not share your choice. But how can you step down as MS?
For the moment I feel relieved. Thanks for all the info in this board as I've been reading for months before participating!