by minimus 66 Replies latest jw friends
Avengers,
This person was not pheodfile, it was more like loveaffair betwen teenage girl and elder.
they never now that someone see them, even if you are a 14-15 year young girl you can try to seduce some how you fall in love widh, in this case it was the girl hopw was the most aktive, and now she is a wife to unother elder and expert to tell others what to do and not to do, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
I don't know what to tell you here further.
If he kept this hidden and nobody knows about it and he does have privileges then the elders should know about it.
It states this in "the flock book"
Well good luck in your crisis of conscience.
Child abuse, definately. As Xena pointed out too, anyone who harms my family. God help them if I caught them.
CC
I could really get myself in trouble if I answer this thread honestly!
Suffice it to say that I have a short temper, little tolerance and a long sharp sword!
We all emphasize too much on forgiving wrong doing. How about a bit more emphasis on conduction ones self in a way that would not require forgiveness.
Do no harm. Right is right.
Just a thought.
Thunder
Thunder, you're right. It would be better to not have to get yourself in a mess in the first place. Sadly, though, we all do it.......Regarding pedophiles, I believe that they are truly sick! I've read how some loathe themselves because of their inward desires. Do I hate such ones? No. However, I might change my view if my daughter had been sexually abused. I guess, though, that I really don't like thinking that a specific act by a person gets rated as"unforgivable".
With all due respect Min:
If you do not think that someone betraying a child, abusing the child and taking their innocence which effects them for life is unforgivable what do you call it.? The reason alot of the children have such difficult times after abuse is BECAUSE of this idiotic attitude.
Here a parent is supposed to want to die for a child but yet many times this said parent not only forgives but many times continues to be friends or even a lover of the abuser NOW THAT IS UNFORGIVEABLE what another betrayal to someone you are supposed to love. If a child wishes to forgive when they grow up fine but had it been one of my children I would NEVER forgive this person. EVER. Nor myself for not being there to protect my child. Maybe if everone would quit being so damn forgiving and start doing something we wouldn't have these broken children trying to deal with horrors of abuse.
I have two healthy children THANK GOD they were never abused sexually now I have a grandbaby and I am just as careful with this one, that is our duty to protect and love not to forgive the evil.
I understand what you're saying. But, I don't think that this certain sin is the only thing we should center on. If a drunk driver hit a child, that child may never be the same for as long as he or she may live. But, could you ever forgive the driver for ruining the life of that child? I think it's healthier to try to forgive than not. People who have committed henious crimes and are on death row have recieved "forgiveness" by the deceased loved ones. Those that have extended such forgiveness have reported that they felt better. Whether it be pedophilia, taking advantage of a child in some other way, murder, rape, etc. of any person, is it not healthier to try to forgive and deal in life from that standpoint? .......Do keep in mind something. I am very protective of my family and friends. I do believe that if anyone hurt my wife or daughter, I would want to kill them. I don't think this is all that healthy, truthfully.
My dictionary defines the word as "To cease to feel angry or resentful towards a person or about an offense"
If that is all that we mean then I could (I think) forgive almost anything given enough time . That is not the same as truly "Wiping the slate clean" and having ones relationship the same as before . A wise person would always be aware of that individuls sin/crime and treat him with caution in the future
I believe that only God can grant forgiveness of sin and take away the burden of guilt from the perpetrator, but I hope that I could cease to feel angry because anger would be damageing to me
I must ask you here if , can you give this person inn,
If I get the right handle on Happyman's post, an elder , some 30 years ago, is known to have had an affair with a teenage girl under the age of legal consent . She is now married to someone else.
My answer would depend on my situation in a congregatioo. As it is now, No I would not split on them and risk the breakup of two families over someting so long ago. That is because I am not an active Witness and am not bound by their code.
If I were such a Witness , and if the "Cleanness of the cong" still meant something to me, then Yes without doubt I would tell the elder body what I knew, and hang the consequenses
SheilaM, I understand if you're saying that you feel strongly about this topic - many on this thread seem to feel the same way as you. If Laura Davies, a leading writer on recovery from childhood sexual abuse, says that it's possible to forgive an abuser, even if it's not required for functional recovery, then why is it "idiotic"?
I posted the passage from her book to provide just that perspective - that it is possible to forgive, but not essential.
