The Hell of the POMI!

by The Bethelite 17 Replies latest jw friends

  •  The Bethelite
    The Bethelite

    I called a Jehovah's Witness friend of mine a couple weeks ago, yes I still consider him a friend though he would not say the same of me. I've known him for almost 40 years. Our families went on many vacations together including my only trip back to Bethel in 1996. This trip was made with 40 other "brothers and sisters."

    We texted back and forth for about a half an hour late one Saturday night. I could tell something was wrong so I finally picked the phone and called him.

    He had been drinking and told me how much he loved me and that "he had never given up hope for me to come back." He finally said. "Your probably calling me because you heard that I had been dis-fellow-shipped a week ago!"

    "No!" I said. "I had no idea!"

    Yes,his wife had turned him in for drunkenness and had left him. I tried to console him but he would not have it. Though he loved me, he could think of me only as the devil's disciple trying to steal what was left of his soul!

    He was in the only real Hell there is. The Hell the Jehovah's Witness world had created for him. The Hell of being cast out of god's loving organization. Though "out" he was more "in" than ever. To lose everything he had was more than he could bare!

    Hell for sure. Who know how many suicides have resulted from people living in this kind of made up Hell?

    PS In the 50 years I was a JW he is the first and only person I have ever heard of getting dis-fellow-shipped for drinking too much. Because we all know here that is one area they cut people a lot of slack!

  • Crazyguy2

    Send him the video of Morris buying $1100 worth of booze and ask him who are they to judge you?!

  • HappyBlessedFree

    That’s so sad, disfellowshipping is really the cruelest kind of punishment. A friend of mine while being disfellowshipped and trying to get reinstated was so distraught that he laid his body down on the railroad tracks and waited for the train to come. It never came but, yes how many commit suicide from this ungodly treatment.

    Hey I went to Bethel with a large group in 96 too.

  • tiki

    Poor guy...sounds like the religion has really done a number on him. Stick by him...your loyal unconditional frienship may save his sanity and even his life.

  • Spiral

    I know of a couple of people like that. Please continue to try to be there for him, once he's over the shock of it all he may start thinking more clearly.

    And I think you are correct, I think the mentally in DF'd and DA'd people are in the worst place of all.

  • rockemsockem

    This is a set up for him being suicidal. Wife leaving, loosing his whole net work of social friends. Its not good.

  •  The Bethelite
    The Bethelite

    True that was the case with my father in law (an exjw whom we shunned for smoking) who was in a drunken stupor and blew his brains out.

    One of the two people I feel "Blood guilty" for.

  • Diogenesister

    I couldnt agree more with you OP πŸ’―πŸ’―πŸ’―πŸ’―πŸ’―

    The only real prison is the prison we create for ourselves.

    Also " tough love" doesnt work. Statistics show more people fail. Implode and either kill themselves the slow way ( drinking) or fast, few respond favourably to tough love which is efectively what witnesses do. I mean when theres a real issue....not a made up fake issue like girlfriend and boyfriend sleeping together.

    I mean genuine issues like drink or drugs or people leaving their spouse due to violence etc etc the real issues that witnesses just shun you for, hard or soft.

    Makes me sick😑😑

  • Diogenesister
    CrazyGuy2Send him the video of Morris buying $1100 worth of booze and ask him who are they to judge you?!

    Just wanna bump this πŸ’―πŸ’―πŸ’―πŸ’―

  • WingCommander

    FYI: JW's DO in fact DF for drunkeness. Back in the early 80's, we had a fellow in our Congregation that was truly a functioning alcoholic. He was a family friend, and a really nice guy. That is, until he drank to much. Then he'd beat his sweet wife of many years. He'd sober up, see what he'd done (couldn't remember a thing), feel absolutely horrible, apologize to his wife, and then confess to the Elduh's. Did they help this poor many by getting him to AA, therapy, etc? Nope! They'd DF his ass, over and over again. It was really a sad sight to see. I ran into him a few years ago working as a greeter for BJ's Wholesale Club. He had been sober for many, many years. Unfortunately, his dear wife passed of cancer. Still, I was happy that he was finally clean. I didn't have the heart at the time to tell him he was stuck in a cult. I should have, I regret that.

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