Expected pain

by former2free 22 Replies latest jw experiences

  • The Fall Guy
    The Fall Guy

    former2free - In your situation, fade. Admit nothing, and deflect any & all interrogative questions with "We have private & personal issues to deal with."

    It is hard coming to terms with the reality of the cult, but knowledge is power, and the more damning evidence you discover about the org, the easier it will become. You'll both be so delighted that your eyes have been opened.

    I wish you both a peaceful & happy exit.

  • Giordano

    Here is what I recommend for what it's worth.

    While the Catholic church is getting torn apart by their pedophile issue so is the WTBTS.

    Their failed policy....... the 'two witnesses rule'............ like their ban on blood .........is greatly disturbing to any impartial viewer.

    While the blood ban accounts easily for a thousand unnecessary deaths a year It is unfortunately writ large in the minds of believing JW's who opt to take their chances to stay in the good graces of their co delusional believers.

    But not so with the Pedophiles who are happy campers within their congregations.

    The two witness rule and the lax treatment of known and active pedophiles as proven by the Australian Royal Commission (ARC), Has also been proven in the recent Pennsylvania Grand Jury investigations that being a JW pedophile allows for their on going pleasure in the misery of abused children.....most of whom are being raised as JW's.

    You don't get to be Jehovah's organization by hiding 1,800 victums and 1006 pedophile attacks on children over a 50 year period of time (ARC) without a single case brought to the police.

    How does a God bless an organization like this?

    So keep it simple........... tell any 'friends' or family that until the Society is ready to defend these children you guys are disengaging until you see that children are being protected. Put it on them.

    As Months and years go by your family and friends who are JW's will see and read about how corrupted the WTBTS and it's followers have been and are. 'Waiting on Jah' doesn't work when an unprotected minor is repeatedly sexually abused.

    Their dirty secret, like the Catholic church, is out now and about to get worse.

    Stick with that one issue and no one will be able to challenge your position that you are stepping away.............. until the Society has reclaimed the blessing of their God by cleaning up their JW pedophiles.

  • NeedToKnow

    Giordano, that is exactly what I’ve done. Particularly because I know of someone suspected of such locally and have said the exact thing, until they sort it out, I won’t be a part of what is in effect child sacrifice which Jehovah abhors. Done.

  • ToesUp

    No matter which way you slice it...it hurts and it hurts bad. This is your family and you have all right to feel hurt. I hurt for you. Even if you do not disassociate (fade), your family may treat you a bit different. We faded and came clean to our family. They still speak to us ( a little distant) but they still speak to us. The important thing, we have a few family members that we may have paved the way for them to GET OUT.

  • eyeuse2badub

    I did the fade route mainly because of my entire immediate family being jw's but also because it allows me many opportunities to 'reverse witness'. All of my life long jw friends have no problem with me being a fringe member of the borg and in fact I truly believe that they enjoy our conversations regarding the problems the wtbts is having. It's really exciting skirting around the local elders. Most of the elders in our congo are men that I formerly "served" with on the body of elders and they kinda walk lightly around me. I've had discussions with several of them about why I'm no longer an active jw and they cannot really find reasonable fault with my thinking!

    Unless you are really a militant 'hater', no need to stir the pot and allow the wtbts to dictate how people can treat you!

    just saying!

  • dubstepped

    As far as how you two respond, do you. Feel out those relationships that you care about and see how they will go. Determine what games you're willing to play and what games would lead you to take further action. We faded for a bit and decided we didn't want to keep playing toxic games so we disassociated when a certain line we drew was crossed.

    I'm just sorry that you two are facing this. Go slow. I know it's exciting to finally open up to your wife and have her on board, but it sounds like you might be letting that excitement leak out in the family and it could turn ugly. Remember that you were allowed to wake up on your time and let them do the same. You may blow it all up if you're not careful. You're carrying a bomb to drop so no sudden moves.

    Congrats on waking up. I'm sorry that it also can cause problems. Freedom is rarely free. There will often be a price to pay and sometimes it's very heavy.

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    why do people buy into this resurrection / 1000 years on a paradise earth fairy story ? is their real life that poor ? its all just a nice story cooked up by the watchtower society.

    this life you have right now is the real deal--make the most of it.

    as soon as you dump the god myth and walk away from the watchtower your life will only get better.

  • former2free

    Thank you dub. I appreciate your comments. I am having to slow the wife down I don’t plan on saying anything to her family till we are about to move across states. Then the biggest thing will be about answering a phone and not worrying about them showing up on our doorstep. It’s sad that it has to be that way but we all deal in our own way.

  • LovingLifeNow


    You are going thru what alot of us probably went thru at first.I was in similar boat, my wife followed my lead very shortly after I showed her what this religion is really all about. It was very difficult at first. We decided to fade, and I have a few uber dubs in my family, and they decided it best not to associate with us anymore. I have also told my Uber parents (dads an elder), They said they will never stop talking to me, but then again I never disassociated nor was DFed , I have 2 children that I want to have a normal life , so we do all the holidays now, They have friends at school, they do sports, It is still odd for us, because we faded about 3 years ago. My parents know we do Christmas and Birthdays (I told them). But yet they still talk to me. So you never know. We are here if you ever want to talk.

  • former2free

    Thank you lovinglifenow that was the reason I posted that on here I felt that I can express myself in his forum and everyone so far has been gracious and loving. Kinda the opposite of what we born ins were taught. I’ve been able to use some of everyone’s words here to help my wife too.

Share this