Wife came home upset ...

by The Fall Guy 38 Replies latest social humour

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 years. I didn't want to interrupt her. -- Red Skelton

  • stuckinarut2
    stuckinarut2

    When she stepped into the concrete, was she down-'cast' about it?

    Did she 'form' another idea?

  • Hanged Man
    Hanged Man

    I said to my wife calmly........."right bitch.....according to witness doctrine......peter sutcliffe and rose west (a couple of notorious serial killers).... are okay to speak to....because they are involved with witnesses....and you would have them round for a cheese and wine party?......but yet.....I am the scum of the earth when I encounter former friendly JW's when standing in tescos at the freezer aisle?".....she said......"to be fair....you have killed more than those two combined"......she had a point i s'pose....(btw if any cops are monitoring this.......I never killed no one.....it was a joke....I'll stand at the door with my hands up shall I? : )

  • nowwhat?
    nowwhat?

    Why do golfers carry an extra sock in their bag? ..in case they get a hole in one.

  • smiddy3
    smiddy3

    two men are stuck on opposite sides of a river. The first man shouts to the second.

    "How do I get to the other side of the river ?"

    The second man shouts back ,

    "You ARE on the other side."

  • smiddy3
    smiddy3

    Q. is my glass of beer half full or half empty?

    A.It depends on who is asking my wife or or my friend.

  • Confusedalot
    Confusedalot

    The elder, fuming, asks me: "Why did you install a red light over the KH entrance, this is not BABYLON THE GREAT!"

    Me, smiling mischievously: "Whats wrong with a 'new light'?"

  • punkofnice
    punkofnice

    Did you hear about the jobo advent calendar? Every door they opened had the words 'not interested' in them.

    I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim Reaper – dicing with death.


  • slimboyfat
    slimboyfat

    I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

  • slimboyfat
    slimboyfat

    Why did the cat run away from the tree?

    It was afraid of the bark.

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