False Memories

by Jang 34 Replies latest jw friends

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  alpha

  I have only just found this thread again.

  Larc
  In response to my post you said "only help ourselves and not try to help others" - No that is not what I'm saying at all. We all need help many times in our lives. But the fact is it doesn't matter how much help you give some people it makes no difference. If they don't help themselves they won't get anywhere.

  Ever heard the saying "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink"? Jang can post all the information she wants (and she does) but, unless someone wants help its to no avail.

  There are some people that just don't want to hear it. And you can say they don't need to listen, but when you are sticking things in peoples faces all the time we as humans don't like it.

  There are other people who don't want to hear it all the time because yes it does dreg up memories they don't want to be reminded of.

  Jang is there if someone wants to talk to her and she can help them, but it does not endear her to people when they get bombarded with stuff they really don't want to think about. When they are ready they will talk to someone. And yes at times they need a little coaxing but, coaxing is not continually sticking it in their face.

  You use the example of Ray Franz, he never pushes his ideas or beliefs on to people. If they choose to read his book, good for them, he gives them his time, he listens, but only when they want it. I too am glad of Ray Franzes efforts in trying to help others leave the WBTS.

  The point I am also trying to make to Jang is that there is "a time and a place for everything".

  Alpha
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  alpha

  Mulan

  You say

  JanG, Just ignore them. I think they purposely don't "hear" what you are saying, and are arguing for the sake of argument.

  It seems to me that Jang is not 'listening', and its not a matter of "arguing for the sake of argument" as you put it, but that we sometimes feel like we are beating our heads against a brick wall.

  Alpha - You are hearing but you are not listening.
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  Jang

  [q]There are some people that just don't want to hear it. And you can say they don't need to listen, but when you are sticking things in peoples faces all the time we as humans don't like it.

  There are other people who don't want to hear it all the time because yes it does dreg up memories they don't want to be reminded of.

  Jang is there if someone wants to talk to her and she can help them, but it does not endear her to people when they get bombarded with stuff they really don't want to think about. When they are ready they will talk to someone. And yes at times they need a little coaxing but, coaxing is not continually sticking it in their face.[/q]

  Just being on this board "dreg(s) up memories they don't want to be reminded of"!!!!!!!! I doubt very much that what I post is as culpable as what people write about on the board about their own experiences! One only has to read some of the responses to see how triggering and painful it is for them to read them.

  Anything I post is more to do with healing and recovery ..... and it is based on professional writings if not copies of what they hand out anyway.

  And, again, if someone isn't ready to deal with it, they don't have to read it just as they don't have to read some of experiences posted on the board.

  The variety of posts on thie board, including what I post, are no different to likening it to a library with anti-JW books on the shelves.... sure some will see things they don't want to read, but there will always be someone who wants to read them.

  Another point? How often do I post them? If I posted them monthly I would complain too ....other than the IT HURTS article, it is about a year before I repost something unless I am sepcifically asked for it.

  ....... And during that time a whole host of newbies have come on who just may be happy to have the information.

  The "oldies" can skip them .... I don't care, but the e-mails I get from those who really appreciated it, plus the thankyous on the board don't support those who compain.

  Even if there is only one person who needed that info at that time, that is enough ....

  I listen, yes, but I also listen to those who write and thank me for taking the time to post these things where they can access them easily.

  I wish that those who have fussed over this would consider those people too.

  And again, I re-iterate, that I did not ask people to dredge up stories and memories, I was only asking for numbers .....
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  larc

  Alpha,

  I think you made some good points. I agree that some posts can be very long and complicated and tedious to read. Sometimes, I sample parts of a very long post and read others opinions rather than reading the whole thing. I think in JanG's case I didn't mind the length because I happen to be interested in the subject. Even with long tedious posts that I don't happen to like, I still wouldn't suggest that those people stop such posts. With about 1,500 registered posters and probably thousands of other lurkers, there is something here for everybody. What educates and benefits one person, doesn't do a thing for someone else.

  As you rightly pointed out, people won't change until they want to. However, I think we do offer an abundance of information here that might help them make that decision to change. For every one hundred deaf ears, there may be one person that will benefit.

  Your are also right that Ray Franz does not push his books on anyone. A person can choose not to look at it. This is somewhat of a different medium. Stuff is put up on the board, and we may feel compelled to look at it. However, if we don't like it we can move on. To me, this isn't any different than picking up a book at a book store. We can look at it, not like it and put it back on the shelf, or we can scan it, decide we like it and buy it.

  Perhaps my motivation is similiar to both yours and JanG's. I have been out for a very long time. My wounds are healed, so I have no real benefit being here - except - I hope some things I write will help others.
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  waiting

  Hey y'all,

  Well, I am a victim/survivor of incest & beatings, so is my younger brother - who then sodomized my own daughter for years.

  With that short synopsis in mind - I do read much of the information posted on abuse - whether spiritual, mental, or physical - because they all are abuse and hurt.

  The more we learn - the more we can learn not to repeat, or look for signs in our children, or see our neighbor's children's bruises through a learned eye instead of saying "none of my business."

  If we don't want to learn - fine. Skip the thread. I skip most of Fred Hall's threads - it's not hard to do. Just don't click on.

  People complain about the length of Jang's threads. What about Norm's? Some of AlanF's? Some of JanH's? Pretty much all of Focus' threads? Seems Prisca tried to politely say something about that when they first came here - and she was slammed damned hard by them and a couple of other H20 posters.

  Why is Jang being singled out? Woman? Overweight? Middle-aged? Talks about "unpleasantness"? Francoise dwells on this thing about no moderators and unbridled freedom of speech. Well, Jang deserves the same freedoms as Norm, AlanF, JanH, and Focus - and myself sometimes (but I'm bottom of the ladder).

  I may not always learn from Jang & others posts - sometimes I disagree. When I disagree, I learn to articulate & post my argument so that it makes sense. As a former jw, that's something most of us don't know how to do. Present our thoughts clearly and don't click off to the famous "well, that's what the Bible says" or whatever slogan was ingrained in us.

  Thanks again, Jang.

  waiting