False Memories

by Jang 34 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  alpha

  I too would like to know what the point of this exercise is.

  Do any of you know of anyone who is or has been a Jw who has supposedly recovered memories of being sexually or ritually abused as a JW?

  You are not even asking victims to come forward, but asking people to give you "heresay" of other peoples problems. It is no one elses place to tell you of others experiences.

  This is "research on how fundamentalism affects people in this area ....." and I do not see what this could possibly prove.

  No matter how bad a situation has been or is we should always use it to our benefit. Our experiences mold us into the type of people we are. We can constantly view ourselves as the victim and draw attention to the fact that we are a victim and have every right to do so, OR we can make the best of a very bad situation and use it to grow as a human.

  There are many people, who once viewed themselves as victims, decided to use their bad experiences to make them into a better person.

  We don't have to be happy that we are victims, but we can use the experiences to mold us into better people.

  Reliving past experiences over only serves to bring the hurt, the bad emotions and feelings back and this is not a healthy way to live. Move on. You can't change the past, but you can certainly make the most of your future.

  Alpha
• 

  Jang

  Alpha, I am not interested in hearing stories ... I just wanted to get some idea of how extensive the problems is among the different fundy groups.

  Sheesh!!!!!!

  When JW's leave they find it hard to explain their background to anyone who hasn't been there - done that. Most outsiders have no idea of what we went through.

  The same applies here Alpha.

  Unless you have had this happen to you and your family then you don't have a clue whati t is like and whether you can get on with your life etc etc

  Now, there are some of us who have been accused like this who have managed to get over the worst of it and are now fighting back by trying to change laws, guidlines for therapists etc etc. We are damn well doing something about it instead of sitting on our butts and bemoaning our fate.

  This is the same as there are a few of us who went throught the JW's etc and instead of sitting on our butt and bemoaning our fate we decided to use our experience and have been kicking butt for 20 years and we have kicked butt so much that things changed.

  I have seen so many come out and go into the woodwork in the last 20 years .... and it never ceases to amaze me how easy they can criticize those of us who have done the groundwork. I know that there have been times when Randy Watters has wanted to throw in the towel for this same thing and that applies to almost all the others I know around the world who have been battling this for years.

  The only thing that keeps us going is how strongly we feel for those we left behind.

  The same applies to the false memory problem ... the thing that keeps us strong is working towards changing things so more families are not destroyed.

  JanG
• 

  hippikon

  Are you qualified to do this kind of "research"?
• 

  Jang

  Are you qualified to do this kind of "research"?

  Yes ......

  JanG
• 

  randyaussie

  jang ,
  you still have no idea do you.

  randyaussie.
• 

  Mulan

  JanG, Just ignore them. I think they purposely don't "hear" what you are saying, and are arguing for the sake of argument.
• 

  larc

  Randy,

  Your caring concern for others has no bounds, now does it? It is also nice to see the very civil way you control your anger and calmly instruct others. You certainly are a model of decorum for us all to follow.

  Next time, try to be a little more direct, and not so circumspect. By the way, thank you for the compliment.

  Larc - of the Randy makes me smile class.
• 

  larc

  Alpha,

  If I understand your post correctly, we should not let past bad events adversely affect our present life and our future. I agree. Now, we should also (as I understand you) only help ourselves and not try to help others, because of the danger that doing so would possibly bring up bad memories in ourselves which would be to our detriment. On this one, I disagree. If Ray Franz had believed this, he wouldn't have dedged up all his memories and his extensive file of docuementation to write his two books. I, and thousands of others, are very glad he did.

  Larc - of the, if you are strong enough, help others class.
• 

  waiting

  Hello jang,

  I agree with your resonse in part. Those that buy completely into their therepist will believe it all. Some do not buy into it. Some do not buy into it for long. Your statement is suggestive that all victims believe it all - for an indefinite, complete time period. That is an inaccurate statement.

  If you're qualified to do research, you should also qualify your statements. In actuality, I was not arguing the existence/non-existence of False Memory Syndrome or mpd/did. I was commenting that the renowned specialist you use on your website is an overly Christian fundamentalist, blaming Satan, the demons, etc., for mpd/did/false memories. He also held out the Bible and the Church (which ever one he didn't specify). He is a poor excuse for a secular specialist in mind control or mental problems.
  
  Your feelings that all repressed memories are completely without foundation is as simplistic as the feelings that all repressed memories are valid. I believe the truth lies somewhere in-between. People have been hurt on both sides of the table, and sometimes the complete truth will never be found out.

  I believe memory is a compilation of many things. Facts, fiction, *instant fillers* - I forget the proper name, (combu.......) and suggestion. Suggestion can be a trigger or can be erroneous completely.

  I am terribly sorry about the problems in your family. Larc is correct. Neither side of a family should have the pain of things that didn't happen. But if you wish to sway persons feelings on this matter, and to try to educate them to your side of the argument - qualified specialists and qualifed statements, imho, will take you a long way.
  
  waiting
• 

  Jang

  Actually waiting, you are right, I should have made myself a little clearer.

  I think the difference between False Memories and remembered real memories is that the latter you know are there but you decide not to think about them and push the drawer closed every time it opens whereas the false memories you were never conscious of at all.

  Thankfully a lot of really good research has been done on memory since this phenomena developped, and we are beginning to get a clearer picture of which is which.

  A lot of holocaust victims, including those who were young at the time, have been interviewed etc as have people who have been in disasters and other traumas. The findings have been that they recall if they decide to, but they have surivived because they have deliberatly suppressed it.

  Multiple Choice exams work on the principle of triggering the memory and this happens for ordinary memory. If the subject is not raised then the memory isn't triggered into recall .... but that doesn't mean you have repressed it .... it is just the way memory works.

  JanG