I need to know more on why its a problem for me dating a JW girl.

by seekinghelpp 30 Replies latest social relationships

  • TheMark
    I'm here to find a real reason why i can't be with my girl without a problem,

    The "without a problem" part depends on her solely. She would have to leave and never look back. And even then the indoctrination is so strong that you might wake up 10 years down the road and all of a sudden she wants to go back. Tumultuous world events (wars, terrorist attacks, etc) usually trigger this because she'll think the end is near and she will be destroyed because she left. It took me more than 20 years to shake that off.

    Best of luck.

  • Mozzie

    She would be cut off a world she only knows, and as many have said, the Psychological impact for her would be enormous and for you to. No matter how hard you both will try, it will always be in your face. She sounds a lovely lady, but the pull is so hard for some.

  • Ding

    She is required to believe (or at least profess to believe) that you are "bad association," doomed to destruction any day now at Armageddon unless you become an active JW yourself.

  • Heaven

    ok not to throw no shade or no disrespect to the JW religion. which i truly do respect

    I think I see what your problem is.

  • sparky1

    Since you have questioned how her faith as a Jehovah's Witness will affect your establishing a relationship with her, would it not also be fair to her to understand what it means for a Catholic to establish a relationship with a non-Catholic and for such an individual to marry outside of their faith?

    "What are the requirements for marrying a non-Catholic Christian?"

    "Technically, you only need permission, not a dispensation, to marry a Protestant Christian. To obtain permission to marry a non-Catholic baptized Christian, the following conditions must be fulfilled: (1) You declare that you are prepared to remove dangers of defecting from the faith; (2) you make a sincere promise to do all in your power so that all offspring are baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church; (3) the other party is to be informed at the proper time about the promises which you are to make, in such a way that it is certain that he or she is truly aware of the promise and your obligation; and (4) both parties are to be instructed about the purposes and essential properties of marriage which neither of the contracting parties is to exclude.

    As for being married by a priest, you will be required to be married in the presence of your bishop or pastor ( or a priest or deacon delegated by either of them ) unless you pursue a dispensation to permit you to have a non-Catholic ceremony. This is known as a "dispensation from form" since it allows you to marry without observing the Catholic form of the marriage ceremony." - Jim Blackburn Catholic Answers.com

    It seems that the Catholic religion discourages marrying out of the faith but is more accepting than the Jehovah's Witness religion. However, as a faithful Catholic there are certain 'promises' about your family that you must make to the Church, such as raising all children Catholic even though you are in a 'mixed marriage'. My advice is don't even consider it. If you are serious about your religion and she is serious about hers than if you get married you will open yourself up to heartache, family discord, unhappiness and a lifetime struggling for real intimacy. Find another Catholic to marry and move on with your life.

  • seekinghelpp

    Thank you for the replies. i love reading them all. most i agree with but others i question still. Ive done my research and yes i hate the religion she has. to me its not right in any way. i feel if i was brought up in that religion but as i would get older i'd realize how cruel they control you in every aspect. but how should i confront her about it, she's already going against little things of her rules by being with me. i can't tell her to turn away from the religion cause she already told me that'll beat the whole purpose me putting so much time to this of all my life. her mom doesn't even wanna meet me cause of religion wise. its crazy how life still is with these beliefs of some people. i just don't understand how they can't see the bad in their beliefs, sorry to say. but again thank you very much.

  • kairos
  • rebel8
  • Incognito

    First you claim to respect the JW faith, but then state you hate the religion she is a part of.

    Not to discourage you from participating on this forum but ask yourself: Why is it that you can't ask your questions and express yourself to this "girlfriend" directly but find it necessary to discuss the religion with anonymous strangers?

    If you can't be yourself around her or speak honestly with her, do you really have much hope you will have anything in common and that an honest and respectful relationship will develop?

  • nugget

    Dating outside the organisation is a huge no no. In the Bible the early Christians were told not to be unevenly yoked with unbelievers. In the JW world this is anyone who does not follow their faith including other christian denominations. Because this is an instruction in the Bible it is seen as a command from God so failure to follow this command is showing disloyalty to God. This person is not demonstrating the right attitude and could be marked by the congregation as someone who is not a good associate.

    If they suspect you have been alone together they may decide to hold a judicial committee for fornication or brazen conduct which can result in disfellowshipping. If she repents she will be asked to cease the relationship as demonstration that she has the right attitude.

    In a local congregation a witness girl started a relationship with a non believer. This person subsequently started a study and they got married. All the elders that attended the wedding were removed as elders. The feeling was even though he studied the relationship was a sign of disobedience.

    In my old congregation a sister who got engaged to a non JW had a marking talk given to the whole congregation saying what a dreadful thing this was and she was to be considered a bad association.

    Your relationship is under tremendous pressure JWs are not people swayed by true love everything is subordinate to loyalty to the organisation. I cannot see this ending well as the congregation will try to humiliate the girl you love to get her to conform and it is possible she will start to resent you as the perceived cause ofher pain.

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