Accepting Blood Privately

by Brighton 19 Replies latest members private

  • Brighton
    Brighton

    Thank you everyone for the encouragement. I hope this is hypothetical too. I just went to the doctor to establish care with a new primary, and they sent me to get an EKG. The nurse called and said I have a right atrial enlargement and need an echocardiogram (ultrasound of my heart). I looked it up, it could be not a big deal, or it could be something more serious. At any rate, I won't know until they do more tests, but it got me thinking about an advanced directive, etc. I asked a non-jw friend to be on mine and I'm going to have a discussion with her about blood.

    my mom is a regular pioneer, so if I took blood even though I have not attended for many years (10), she may cut me off if she found out. I'd like to avoid that if at all possible.

    Brighton

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    hello Brighton--welcome to the site.

    if--from your username you are in brighton--UK,--we have a member on here from brighton who writes in frequently.

  • Scully
    Scully

    I've said this many times before and I will say it again: One thing you absolutely MUST do (speaking as an RN) is go to the admitting department and have them remove any note that identifies you as a JW.

    The members of the HLCs, like any other clergy, can obtain printouts of congregants in hospital under the guise of "pastoral care". The best way to avoid an ambush by members of the HLC is to remove any reference to your being a JW.

    I found this out when my youngest was born, while still a JW. I had signed a paper stating that I was not interested in receiving pastoral care visits, mainly because Friends™ were planning to visit, and my hospital stay was going to be very brief. So, I'm in my private room, with the curtain drawn, breastfeeding my newborn, on the evening prior to being discharged home, and a stranger popped his head inside the curtain - it was an Elder™ from the HLC checking in to see if I "needed anything". I was upset at his lack of respect for my boundaries (the closed door, the curtain drawn and the CLEAR written refusal of "pastoral visits" on my chart. When I asked him how he knew who I was and where I was, he told me that the hospital's Pastoral Care Team provides them with lists of patients of the various denominations, so they can make Shepherding Calls™. I told him I'd signed a document declining those visits, because I wasn't ill, my hospital stay was going to be brief, and I had plenty of visits with Friends™ from the KH. I reported him to my nurse and the nurse manager after he left.

    A few years later, when I had decided that I wanted nothing more to do with the cult, I requested those notations to be removed from my electronic file. Never a problem since then.

  • Brighton
    Brighton

    @Scully,

    Thanks for that. I had a hospital stay at the end of 2017, and I refused pastoral visits. The only one I got was from the hospital chaplain who was making rounds on the floor. I found our visit to be quite encouraging. Most real chaplains have some training in counseling, and my experience of their visits are totally different than any visit I've had with an elder.

    I will need to see if there is any note in my chart about being a JW so they don't come hunt me down. I didn't want visits from elders I didn't know when I was in the hospital and still going to meetings let alone now when I have successfully faded.

  • AudeSapere
    AudeSapere

    In addition to all the suggestions by others on this thread, maybe consider not telling your family and JW acquaintances until *after* any needed procedure is completed.

    Have your non-jw friend be with you on treatment day and make sure they have your cell phone and know which family to contact in case of emergency.

    (The friend may want to bring a friend to keep them company for a few hours.)

    When - or IF - family finally learns of your procedure, just tell them that you did not want to upset everyone and get them all agitated at a time when you needed to just focus on keeping yourself calm and collected. Also, you prefer to have them help you with post-op care and recovery rather than gather around you and crowd you and the hospital during the critical time itself.

    If they balk, just kindly thank them for their concern and then firmly remind them you are an adult and you made the decision that you felt most comfortable with.

    And thank them again for being there to help and assist with recovery. Maybe they can make a snack and sit a chat a bit about the kids and the weather and summer plans.

    Here's hoping all is easily adjusted with your medical issue and you don't even need to address the blood thing.

    -Aude.

  • Half banana
    Half banana

    Brighton is an English place-name but you speak American!. In England as others mention, the hospital doctors and surgeons are aware of the need for JWs to have a blood transfusion without letting the congregation busybodies know. It is routine! The transfusion can take place overnight.Should it be necessary I'm sure you could arrange secrecy.

    On the other hand why not be open about what you do as a non-JW?---- And welcome to the site.

  • newsheep
    newsheep

    My oncologist and surgeon told me that it would definitely be made private and special arrangements would be made to make sure when given the transfusions, I would be alone in the recovery room (first transfusion) and alone in my room(second bag) with my curtain drawn so no one could see in. The days I had the transfusions were the days that no visitors were allowed and that was mentioned to the spouse right away. They told him if there were any complications that no one would be allowed in the room. And it happened exactly that way! A note was posted on the door as well.

    Even if someone was to walk in to the room and saw the bag, the doctors would be willing to go along with what ever wishes I had. Do you really think the johos liason committee which is a real joke ever want to take anyone to court and bring reproach upon Jehovah's name?

    Are they really going to df someone that wasn't right in their mind at the time of emergency needing blood? Just make sure it's in your file and the hospital's notes that these are your wishes and play stupid after if you really must. Your an adult and they are a cult. Choose wisely if you want to live or stay in a cult and die. They don't give a crap about what you do (except for your money if you do die) but only when they want to be drama queens and kings. It's a no brainer

  • Brighton
    Brighton

    Thanks Newsheep.

    I am not in the cult, I've been faded for 10 years. However, my mom is a pioneer and we have regular contact. Live in the same city. I grew up here, so if I was seriously ill, chances are that many of my visitors would be JW.

    I am fine with that, I just don't want to compromise my medical care so that I can see my family after the procedure.

  • Beth Sarim
    Beth Sarim

    Brighton, like many say I hope it's only a hypothetical question you're asking about 'blood'. With all the suggestions, if you do actually need blood many have stated some really helpful tips.

    On the other hand, should you(or anyone) need blood someday, and are found out by the local gestappo(window washers) or elders, look at it as a blessing in disguise if they DF you and look at it as a ticket-to-your new freedom!!!.

  • Diogenesister
    Diogenesister

    If you live in Europe, Australasia or the USA you have the right to have your treatment in private with zero disclosure to anyone, family or not.

    Firstly, TALK to the doctors and nurses, get them on side. Many wards have rest periods after lunch until about 4 when no visitors allowed...ask for your blood treatment then. Or at nightime. Or have it in the "treatment room" away from your bedside. There are many ways around this. Have staff send family away while they claim to do a deep clean of your room, or assist you to wash and change your sheets etc.

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