How have you felt since you learned TTATT?
HUGE relief knowing I don't have to toe some imaginary line anymore, it's now between me, my Creator and his Son. I remember being asked by a JW friend what I though about the 'Truth TM' and I told him I don't believe in organized religion. He laughed and belittled me saying I knew NOTHING about the Bible. Well I studied, went in, got baptized and low and behold a few short years later I proved myself right. I still don't believe in organized religion. Maybe some are better off in, but as for myself it's a no go, just don't fit. Again leaving is a HUGE relief and am glad not to be bound to a borderline illegal organization that will have the law catch up with it one day soon. Wouldn't want to be in their shoes. I still a believer and read and study daily, my speed my terms but within scriptural boundaries, not that of men if that makes any sense.
Not sure how I feel personally. If it was totally up to me id disassociate myself today but my wife is really ingrained in the wts so I dont want to freak her out.
Already I have removed myself of all responsibilities but it doesn't feel like enough.
By the way, reading CoC has been a real eye opener and is a big help to anyone looking for ttatt.
I wasn't fully convinced of TTATT at first. I still thought that JW's had the truth, but at the same time I was receptive of TTATT, thinking that it was interesting & worth looking into. It didn't take long for me to realize that something was seriously wrong & that I needed to do something about it. I started my fade in less than a year & life has never been better! My only regret? Not learning TTATT sooner!
No longer smothered by F.O.G
(Fear Obligation Guilt)
Free to actually use logic and thinking ability to determine facts for myself.
I wish I could say that the burden being lifted from me brought me joy. While TTATT kept me from going full crazy I still had bitterness and rage inside of me for a long time. I am better now but I feel like I still have a hole inside of me where something was taken out of my life.
My change of beliefs was a gradual process. When I came to the realization that JWs were not God's chosen people it was a scary revelation. As many of you, I had spent my entire life under the impression I was living a life directed by God's spirit, and putting any desires on hold for a new world that I came to realize would never come. When I finally accepted I could no longer fake it and remain in the cult, I faced the reality of loosing all of my family and friends; something that now 9 years later gives me lingering pain; on occasion. I also had to start over in life, scraping the over 30 years wasted; including up to then, the almost 11 years at Bethel.
After exiting it was at first a struggle to survive. Worked days & nights as a waiter, also attending day & night college classes. living a very humble existence with very little until I could get myself on track. My JW past feels like someone else's life most of the time - faded memories of another lifetime. Except when the holidays come around, when family (in-laws & adoptive) & friends ask about "my family" and I reply, "I have none". I also have no lifelong friends. I am married now, I did graduate from college and became an RN. I am also the proud father of happy & healthy 2 1/2 year old twins (above pictured from their first time trick-or-treating 3 days ago).
Life is good, but there has been loss; I realize many of you can relate.
Wow HowieTran ! Good for you you deserve the best man ! Am so happy for you, hey tell us about your Bethel days one day when you're up to it, love those insider stories like the ones on Freeminds. You can't make that stuff up !
Lovely pic, Howie. Adorable kids. They must have gotten loads of candy!
Way to go! You have so much to be proud of...you did it! Cute kids! Congrats on the RN accomplishment. That was a lot of hard work!
It hurts to loose family and friends. NO ONE should have to do that. It's just not normal. It just confirms that it's just not right.
Be glad you got out when your kids were little.