How have you felt since you learned TTATT?

by tornapart 38 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Sofia Lose

  The feeling is indescribable, awesome, amazing, guilt free, liberating.

  However, many WTBTS heavies in my family so I have to fake the JW stance frequently. My lovely hubby is hook, line and sinker in the Org, and I love him so much that I do not dare cause any commotion at this time.

  I am a master at tuning out during all meetings involving JW stuff. Life is good knowing TTATT.

  There are many like me inside these days. Many do not take it one bit seriously, this makes for a nice social life while I have to 'fake' it.

  SL

  
  
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  slimboyfat

  Not good. I'd go back if I could.
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  truthseeker100

  Slimboy You seem very very sad!! I hope u talk to some mental health experts. Let me just say" I wish you no harm"
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  Tornintwo

  Im 6 months into my awakening and have faded fast. I have days when I feel elated, finally free of the oppressive guilt and 'never good enough' demands of the Borg.... I have days when I'm angry as hell about the lost opportunities, decisions taken wrongly, damage done to my kids and others....I have days when I feel lonely, miss the community and friends, wonder if God is angry with me & I get sucked back in to self doubt and guilt (today's one of those).

  I hope it settles down soon and I can just live a normal life and forget this small minded cult ever darkened my path.
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  River Song

  It's been three years since I learned ttatt but I have been out seventeen years. Somehow it never occurred to me to Google Jehovah's Witnesses until after I heard Fritz Springmeir mention that they are a cult in passing. I was really upset at first and then off and on angry and recently really pissed off because of the Australian Commission. I have a jw living on my street I think he's an elder, anyway he's been shunning me for three years now, ever since I started anti witnessing. It's really a shame, for him, because his yard has the most darling deer statues out front and my kid likes skipping on the stones in front of his house and likes to stop and look at his deer and discuss them. I can only imagine my behavior must be terrifying to him.

  Ohhhh the terrifying apostate and her toddler are out plotting on ways to stumble him. Look she's out giving Christmas gifts to everyone in the Culdesac.....
  
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  Giordano

  Out with my wife since the mid 1960's never ever wanted to go back. Frankly it's a very ignorant religion.

  How do you live with the fact you've allowed yourself to be duped despite the fact you know you have a certain amount of intelligence? How do you cope with seeing the person you love and live with still being heavily influenced by what you've realized is not 'the Truth' but a falsehood?

  I was never duped .......never really impressed with the Society.... I believed in God for a while and liked the people. I was in at 13 out with my wife at 23. A lot of friends but realized we were going to have to part ways. Being a JW is a full time thing........ meaning you have to embrace rational ignorance.......... that wasn't the life for me and my wife. I didn't want nor need JW friends. We made better friends in the real world. We have and had a fantastic life. Celebrated our 52 year anniversary yesterday.

  We are well pleased with our decision.

  
  

  
  
  
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  Ucantnome

  How have I felt since I left the Witnesses?

  It's been some years now and I am reaping what I have sown. Nothing to do with being a farmer although in High School on some test regarding what we were best suited to do for work. Mine was Farmer. I'd rather be dead. Probably it was a reflection of my Witness beliefs and hopes of living on a paradise earth growing fruit for all of eternity.

  The big decisions I made in my life were structured around my faith in the good news that I was preaching as a Witness. My baptism, my marriage, my educatin, my work, my lack of a pension. I have reviewed the decisions I made and if I had to make them again with the same information I had available I would make the same choices based on how I understood faith and its demonstration. So I feel that I was not acting in a hypocritical fashion. Also in leaving the Witnesses it was based on me not being convinced any longer regarding the good news that we preached in relation to the events of 1914 and their meaning and so once again I feel somewhat good that I acted in an unhypocritical way although it was at a cost in friendships and a warm cosy place to continue my sleep on a Sunday morning. I did not read or have anything to do with what we viewed as apostates or apostate material before I left and I didn't have the internet, I don't think it was really in existence for most people at that time.

  However, I do feel a sense of loss. I feel as if I lost time in my life. I didn't go on my first date until I was 21. I married later. I didn't prepare for a future in this life. I didn't pursue the work I wanted to do. Not farming. I missed several opportunities in my life that would have made me financially much more secure. Turning them down because I didn't need them as I wasn't planning a future in this system.

  So it's a bit of a mix. I still have faith in God. That never diminished and in some ways being raised as a Witness contributed to that and I'm glad. My faith has helped in some difficult times. Leaving the Witnesses was a process and took some time. Although in one way as soon I as I stopped witnessing I was no longer a witness, I feel being a Jehovah's Witness will always be part of who I am.

  So how do I feel? Depends on the day.
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  jookbeard

  a real mixture of emotions most positive, I like you started with Franz' work ( ISoCF) first for me and I couldn't put it down , I would ride off in the car ,park up and just read it for hours, the dark years of my miserable life as a Dub which culminated in really hitting rock bottom in 1994 seemed more and more distant and as I moved on with my life alone and starting a new job, moving to a new flat these were big upheavals in my life but I felt so much more positive as I found a new chapter in my life, it was so self healing, I've never once looked back , the years of shunning and being isolated were made more easier to cope with also, an inner strength I would never have been able to muster as a dub.
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  Xanthippe

  How do you live with the fact you've allowed yourself to be duped despite the fact you know you have a certain amount of intelligence?

  Tell congregations education is bad for you and is only for arrogant people who want to make you feel small (knowledge puffs up). That universities are full of people having sex in the corridors.

  That all books apart from those written by the WTS are filled with satanic nonsense that will lead to your everlasting death. Tell them the TV is a one-eyed demon in the corner of your living room so you are even afraid of documentaries.

  No wonder we were ignorant. It was by design. Deliberate indoctrination to make even the intelligent fear knowledge and higher education. I see the methods they used on me so I don't feel I was stupid, just lacking in education and life experience.