The laziness of JW parents....

by stuckinarut2 26 Replies latest jw experiences

  • All or nothing
    All or nothing

    That's why my parents are so confused why I don't go or even want to go to the cult indoctrination sessions aka meetings. That has been the solution to EVERYTHING to them so they dont see how I can possibly function without them. Hello newsflash: I'm doing fine possibly even thriving since the guilt and negativity have been removed from my life. Living in the present instead of waiting for some promised future is also been healthy mentally. Since I'm not hearing constantly about Satan anymore, I feel more relaxed, not worried how he is going to get me. Of course it's sad because they think he has snatched me up😔

  • exjwlemming

    Being a JW parent absolves you from performing many duties of regular parents. For example, JW parents don't have to spend the time to travel and visit college campuses. They don't help their kids to make career choices and choose courses and a curriculum. They don't have to apply for financial aid or work some overtime or a second job to help pay for their kids education. The typical JW kid gets his secular start by having the "privilege" of working a no benefits part time gig for a fellow "believing" business owner while pioneering for the org. Meanwhile, the business owner is living high on the hog with honest hardworking young men and women at their disposal that are being duped. I know so many that fell into this trap. As full grown adults, they struggle to make ends meet, are heavily in debt, have no savings, no health care insurance, no retirement, and no meaningful employment that provides some satisfaction. It's no wonder that they pour everything into the org and trying to advance for a sense of some accomplishment.

  • Finkelstein

    Totally agree stuckinarut2

    JWs parents become lazy in that they shift a major part of the their child rearing responsibility onto the WTS, which has little to offer from a modern sociological perspective.

    Add in the fact that the ancient Hebrew civilization wasn't the most enduring into childhood development.

    Hey it was 3000 years ago.

    The bible even says that children that dishonor their parents should be put to death. .........nice

  • just fine
    just fine

    I think the bigger issue with the JW brand of parenting is they think everyone is the same, their thoughts, feelings, and reactions are all the same according to the Watchtower. IRL that’s never true and each child/person deserves to have their own unique situation, personality, and feelings taken in to account.

    Oh and the answer to everything is do more Watchtower related activities.

  • myelaine

    I was just wondering about the "familial" dynamics of JW's.

    Everyone in the org. is considered a brother or sister yet according to the bible the relational dynamic of brother and sister is based on adoption into God's family "in/through" Jesus.

    If the r&f JW isn't in Christ because only the 144 000 are...who adopted them all so that they're now brothers and sisters?


  • stuckinarut2

    Ttdtt! Your comment is very interesting too!

    I hadn't thought of it that way, but you have a good point! Witness marriages are lazy in that sense, as they just wait on the new system to fix everything!

    Interesting observation you made.

  • Whynot

    Most non-JW parents I know usually have books on parenting. I don't see anything lazy about looking for sound advice. Most JWs I know don't really read the articles, they feel that taking their kids to the meetings is enough. Now they have videos to educate their kids. I think the organization really wants parents to rely on the meetings for educating their kids. At least that's the message I've been getting since I was a child.

  • jwfacts

    I think that's because the average JW isn't capable of building his own morality system.

    Paradiseseeker made the point that first came to my mind.

    There is also the risk of a child asking questions that the parent cannot answer. There is then the risk that the parent has to actually think about Watchtower rules, and come to see that they do not always make sense.

    For example, a lot of JWs do not agree with the ruling against birthdays, but go along with it because they have no choice. I think the reason for this is partly because they are forced to explain the reason out loud to their kids, and hear just how hollow the reasoning is.

    A child doesn't always accept "it is wrong because I/Jehovah says so" as an answer. Many Watchtower rules make sense some of the time but not all the time, because Watchtower is a black-and-white religion in a world of colour. What happens when an inquisitive child start asking "what if" questions. The parent is forced to confront the flaws in their doctrine.

    Think of the situation where a teenager asks about abortion. "It is murder, it is never acceptable." But "what if it is girl at school, and she can't care for the child? What if they were raped, and can't bear the idea of seeing the child? What if the girl is likely to die giving birth?"

    Watchtower doesn't want parents thinking. Just give your child an ipad, get the child to watch the same piece of propaganda hundreds of times until they are too indoctrinated to ask tricky questions.

  • stuckinarut2

    JWFACTS: Watchtower doesn't want parents thinking. Just give your child an ipad, get the child to watch the same piece of propaganda hundreds of times until they are too indoctrinated to ask tricky questions.

    Great point indeed Paul. Your post is so very spot on!

  • nonjwspouse

    My Husband and I just had a very important discussion last night about our 13 year old daughter. I asked him " what are you doing to provide/show her a good example of how to live your life?" He was completely dumbstruck. He had no answer except " I don't know", or "I haven't thought about it". This is his answer 90% of the time we discuss things that require thought. It is completely and infuriatingly frustrating to me ( and also very, very sad).

    It's not the first time this same topic has been brought up. So he has had time to think about it, come up with ideas, evaluate himself, etc. But, he doesn't have the mental tools for that. He is stuck in his mental teen years when it comes to this, and I fully believe it is due to the borg teachings, and his parents ( his father, that became a JW when meeting his wife, being an elder taking up enormous amounts of time, though he did try with what little time he had left over), and his mother just didn't fully parent, She was a happy, giving, loving person to those kids but no teaching of life skills. My husband does not remember anything at all that she taught him about life skills. ( Bless her, I don't think she even recognizes it. She is such a sweet, calm, loving person that if she recognized she hindered those boys in any way it would hurt her deeply)

    So my husband is like a deer in headlights when asked what he feels he is doing to teach his daughter life skills. How is he modeling those skills, etc. What does he plan to do to help her through these difficult teen years. What discipline ideas does he have ( Discipline as in teaching her discipline, not just punishments, but consequences for her actions both good and bad.) He just repeats his safe words " I don't know" " I'll have to think about that". Mind you, this kind of talking has gone one for months if not years. He has had plenty of time to think on it. He just literally doesn't have the mental maturity in that area to do so IMO. Hopefully that thinking wall is not permanent and he will break through. I have seen some ideas break through before.

    However, it is like watching molasses flow on a winter day. Sometimes my patience runs so thin.

    The borg IMO puts a wall on people's thinking. A wall on planning for this life, on working through current problems, even on remembering. It is also a wall on real emotions. The other side of the wall for the JW is to think and feel as the hierarchy and printed materials tell you to think and feel. Planning a future, is only a future that not in this lifetime, and the top of that plan is to knock on doors, or hand out literature on the street.

    One brick moving at a time is how the seed planting works. Then when the wall is weakened enough it can come tumbling down. I wish I was able to push over my husbands wall ( with a sledgehammer ;-) )

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