Newbies! Everything you wanted to know but were afraid to ask

by jgnat 226 Replies latest members private

  • tall penguin
    tall penguin

    Thanks jgnat for bringing this to the top.

  • serendipity
    serendipity

    bttt

    I'm looking for a list of URL's to other web sites with incriminating info on the WTS. I know about JWfacts, freeminds, macregor ministries, silentlambs. But what are some others?

  • bebu
    bebu

    With so many newbies showing up, this thread really needs more exposure!!

    So bttt!!!

    bebu

  • hambeak
    hambeak

    First time I saw this one Great, Thanks

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    Thanks for the information. I've only been here a little bit and I came here via a link from Randy Watters's website so I didn't realize there was a newbie section. I just noticed the active topics link yesterday. :-) Anyway, I just read through some of the links you provided. Having lived the rigidity of the jw world, I can believe how callous those elders and especially the co were to cruzanheart's father.

    Every doubt I ever had was almost instantly turned into guilt that I would then punish myself for. This is one of the reason's I'm mad at god right now. Since so much of my guild came without me talking to anyone else about what I was thinking, I assumed that my guilt must be from the one being in the universe who can read minds. Now, I'm not so sure about that. I'm at least willing to give god the benefit of the doubt, but I still have a long way to go.

    If I were trained to turn doubts into guilt without any external interference, then it would be the people that trained me who deserve my derision and not necessarily god, although like I said, I still feel, as my name indicates, abandoned by god.

    I read through the post on depression. I've suffered from depression ever since I studied with the jw. I don't remember suffering before, but I do remember one time before when I had suicidal thoughts so this may be a part of me and not something I was gifted by the wts. Still, the jw approach to depression ought to be a huge clue regarding the validity of their claim to being the only true religion. If they were the only true religion, wouldn't there information on depression not only be the most relevent but also light years ahead of the organizations that don't enjoy the singular privilidge of being god's mouthpiece?

    I listed my personal story in another thread, I don't remember which at the moment, but in it I mentioned a period when I fell into a deep depression. Let me give a little more details into this critical time in my life. In february 1991, I petitioned to become and was accepted as a full-time pioneer. In march 1991, I was made a ministerial servant. I attended an english speaking congregation in witchita falls, texas. The po of our hall and all but one of the other elders were full-time pioneers as well and our congregation had a reputation of being very zealous. In 1989 or 1990, the society broke ground to build an assembly hall in denton, texas. Because our congregation had a high number of pioneers and the majority of those worked in the construction field, it was a natural progression that many accepted the call to go and help on the construction.

    I went down every thursday and every weekend to help with the construction. Even though I was pioneering, helping with the construction, serving the congregation as a ministerial servant, I still fought with intense feelings of worthlessness. I quit my job at jc penneys and took a job roofing with our po so I would have more time for service and wouldn't have to spend so much time with the bad associations at work. Finally, around september or october, I could barely get out of bed. I was so lonely and so wanted to find a sister to marry, but I couldn't get the admonition to try to reach out for singleness out of my head. I was convinced that I would be letting jehovah down if I got married though, because I was convinced that god wanted me to go to bethel. I managed to muddle through somehow and I sent off my application for bethel service. I received the rejection letter sometime around december 1991.

    Since my bethel application was turned down, I figured that it would be ok for me to marry. So, I looked around the kingdom hall and the only single, pioneer sister was the service overseer's daughter. She was extrmely shy, but since we pioneered together a lot we were friends. I told her I would like to start dating her to see if we could get married and she agreed. About a couple weeks later she chickened out though. The whole thing was about as romantic as I'm making it sound here. I had no clue and so I (euphamism alert) took matters into my own hands. Well, the guilt from that lead me to start smoking again. Racked with guilt, I finally approached the po about my smoking. I was publically reproved and of course, removed from being a pioneer and a ministerial servant (although I doubt I was getting the 90 hours pioneers needed back then anyway). I got more and more depressed and that was when I found an ad for a used computer and found that when I was programming, I wasn't depressed.

    I was removed from pioneering and service in march of 1992. I left the congregation in july of 1992. During that period of four months I didn't receive one single visit from any of the "friends." I was diseased and these fearless, servants of god didn't want to jeopardize their relationship with god to provide me the help I wasn't able to get on my own. That was when I first started having doubts about whether the jw have true love. When a rule trumps common sense, there's something wrong.

    I worked at a restaurant where the number one rule is that any other rule can be broken to please the customer. This is a business who's main objective is to make money. If this secular business is willing to do whatever it takes to please their customers, doesn't it make sense that an organization run by a loving god place all the emphasis on showing love? But they don't. They are more concerned with offending god then helping those who truly need help. This also got me wondering about who their god was. Why would an all-powerful being feel offended by anything a human could do? How is it possible that the creator of all the molecules int he universe could actually be offended by something one living collection of molecules does with another collection of molecules. It's asinine, ridiculous, and ludicrous to the extreme.

    Anyway, I originally just wanted to thank you for this thread. Instead I wrote a sermon. The good part is that at least my sermon doesn't demand your undying loyalty. :-)

  • vitty
    vitty

    I read your story on the other thread, I think. You seem to have gone through the mill. The main point i picked up here and i think many would agree, is how guilty and worthless the org makes you feel. Now that surely is not how God would want the majority of his worshippers feeling. Thats why I know its not right.

    I lived on guilt, but after a couple of years away from the meetings Im finally sorting my feelings and head out. And life is getting better and better.

  • Lady Liberty
    Lady Liberty

    Hello..

    Thought this thread may help some newbies and lurkers as well..

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/10/122192/2158934/post.ashx#2158934

    Sincerely,

    Lady Liberty

  • quixote
    quixote

    jgnat: Thanks !! Thanks ! Thanks !

    I don't know if I could thank you enough for this wonderful post. I have allready pre-viewed some of the links and I said pre-viewed because I will definately keep reading some more.

    Quixote

    P.S. Thank you every one else too !

  • KAYTEE
    KAYTEE

    Excellent - bttt

  • Lady Liberty
    Lady Liberty

    bttt

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