Wanna see me stick my foot in my mouth? Its a question for you women,

by William Penwell 78 Replies latest jw friends

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  William Penwell

  I had posted this on another thread but it was a little off topic so someone ask me to start a new thread and get the discussion going on this topic. I do not mean to offend you ladies out there and I really am not sexist as I really love all of you. I have had it told to me by people of your sex, they don't understand us guys. Well I want to say that I don't understand your sex. Never had and probably never will. I don't want to speak for the rest of the guys here but I will admit that us men are more physical when it comes to relationships. In other words we put the physical attachment first. After which when a relationship falls apart we feel frustrated. Where as you women look to the emotional attachment more. Have I got this right? I am open for criticism. Attached are my comments on the other thread:

  I don't know about incompatibility but I guess so far I haven't found that right person that appreciates me for who I am. Instead all I get is guessing mind games. You women out there HELP me. Can you tell me what is going on in your heads?? I don't care what you say but all the women I have dated say one thing and do something else. They say they want a nice guy who treats them well and gives them their space. Well so far with my experience if you treat them that way, all they do in return is lead you on, treat you like crap, play mind games and when someone else better comes along they dump you!!! Then they turn around and blame it all on you!!! I hear so much from them about how creepy their ex's were but it makes me wonder if there is two sides to the story...I can now understand why a lot of men play the games back, although that isn't my style. Well like they say what comes around, goes around. Anyway all the best to everyone here

  Will
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  Stacy Smith

  Where as you women look to the emotional attachment more. Have I got this right?

  Not always, that's why you can't pigeon hole women. Sometimes we just want a hot looking partner. Sometimes we just want sex. Then again sometimes we want some affection outside of an erect penis. Sometimes we want to be stimulated intellectually. Sometimes we don't know what the hell we want. Why should you be able to figure it out?

  Well so far with my experience if you treat them that way, all they do in return is lead you on, treat you like crap, play mind games and when someone else better comes along they dump you!!!

  Yep, that never happens to women. Be yourself. If you treat everyone nice eventually you'll find someone that appreciates you. If you meet a girl that just want to enjoy herself and get all serious over her then you are setting yourself up for a fall.
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  SixofNine

  I think if you learn to view men and women as (almost) exactly the same, your life will be easier. We evolved shoulder to shoulder for a long long time, so underneath the differences (most of which are wonderful) we have the same motivations. Sure, we may respond to or act on those motivations somewhat differently, but usually only because of our relative cultural status. So filter for cultural status, and you'll understand women perfectly.

  Dr. Six~ Next? class
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  funkyderek

  What do women want in a man? Somebody to whom they feel attracted. Seems obvious, doesn't it?

  So why aren't they attracted to nice guys who trip over themselves to pander to their every whim? Well, to understand this we need to understand the rules of attraction. Women are often attracted to men that they'd rather not be attracted to, that they know are no good for them, so much so that it's become a cliché. So it seems that rational thought isn't the prevailing factor.

  Like most things we do, it's all about our genes (moreso, in this case, because it's directly about sex, and therefore, reproduction). From a genetic viewpoint, women are - whether they like it or not - looking for a man to father their children. So what criteria are these women's genes interested in? Well, the ability to father children, first of all so a healthy and virile man is a must. Also, because of the nature of heredity, the qualities that women (by which I mean women's genes) want in a man are the same qualities they want their children (or at least their sons) to have. The most desirable genes are the ones that are best at spreading, for no reason other than that they are good at spreading. Women not only want children, they also want grandchildren so they want their sons to have lots of children. The best way for a man to father lots of children is to have lots of sex with lots of women. All perfectly obvious, so far, right?

  The inevitable result of all this is that women look for men who are capable of having lots of sex with lots of women. Those men have the genes that women want for their children. Unfortunately, those men aren't the nice guys. They're the bad guys who sleep around, who ooze confidence and don't give a damn about the many women in their lives. But if a woman can have just one son by one of these men, she is likely to have far more descendants than if she settles for the ugly, faithful guy and has five or six children by him.

  A man who spends a lot of time trying to please one woman is sending the message that he can't get any woman he wants, that he needs this woman in order to have any chance of reproducing. This is not good for the woman who can only reproduce approximately once a year and must spend a huge amount of time and energy investing in her offspring. She doesn't want her children to have "loser" genes. But she might keep him nearby just in case, especially if the ticking of her biological clock is getting louder.

  It should go without saying - but I know from experience that it can't - that none of this is a conscious choice made by women. They just like these guys and don't always know why. They're certainly not sitting down calculating the relative genetic potential of each man they meet. But that's effectively what their genes are doing. The same way, when a man wants to have sex with as many young and beautiful women as possible, he's not thinking about how many children he can father this way, but his genes are doing exactly that. Even with that caveat, I know I'm still going to be flamed by those who don't understand genetics, but c'est la vie.
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  William Penwell

  An work mate once told me that woman want to be treated like garbage, that if you treat them good they will walk all over you. However I don't buy this advice but I understand where it comes from. As far as treating them as equals, I am sure any ladies I have been with can testify to this. I know all the woman I work with would tell you that I treat them as equals.

  Funkyderek,

  I agree with your point that what you can't have you want. It is human nature. I think where I get confused is that most women I have spoken to hypocritically say they want the nice guy that treats them well but when they find one like that they treat them like garbage. I know the complain about there former ex's being controlling abuse partners but they seem to want to gravitate to these types of losers. So what I say to you ladies out there that gravitate back to an abusive relationship, I can't honestly say I feel sorry for you.

  Will
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  tinkerbell82

  well, in my limited experience, i have to say i really think most women do want a nice guy. the probelm is, the bad ones don't start out bad, they start out nice. once they've got you, their true not-so-nice- colors start seeping out. it's just a lot harder to dump the not-so-nice ones, you end up sort of stuck with them.
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  William Penwell

  tinkerbell

  You got it. The bad ones are the ones that know how to talk sweet to you girls just so they can get what they want. Then after they have conned you and you are in a relationship then you find out he is a creep and it was all an act. It is too late then. I am sorry to say but its all a vicious game to some.

  Will
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  funkyderek

  I agree with your point that what you can't have you want. It is human nature.

  That's part of it but it's more complicated than that. If a woman can get somebody too easily, then there must be something wrong with that person. If he was so great, he wouldn't need to be nice. He'd have loads of women after him.

  I think where I get confused is that most women I have spoken to hypocritically say they want the nice guy that treats them well but when they find one like that they treat them like garbage. I know the complain about there former ex's being controlling abuse partners but they seem to want to gravitate to these types of losers. So what I say to you ladies out there that gravitate back to an abusive relationship, I can't honestly say I feel sorry for you.

  Women do want a nice guy, but they're not attracted to them. They don't even intend to treat them badly. It's probably some sort of test to see if they're worthy. It's unfortunate, but we're not always controlled by our brains.
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  tinkerbell82

  So what I say to you ladies out there that gravitate back to an abusive relationship, I can't honestly say I feel sorry for you.

  whoa, how did i miss that?? huh????????

  and ps, i think nice guys are very attractive. :)
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  Stacy Smith

  An work mate once told me that woman want to be treated like garbage, that if you treat them good they will walk all over you.

  Yeah he's a ladies man.

  You guys think too much.