Do you tell your spouse or partner EVERYTHING?

by doodle-v 57 Replies latest jw friends

  • kitties_and_horses_oh_my!

    I try to, but sometimes it takes me awhile (like months) before I work up the nerve. Like telling drwtsn that I closed the garage door on his beloved marks were left, and I think it took me about a year before I confessed. It's hard for me to hold stuff inside, makes me feel like I'm being dishonest with him. He's always there for me, keeps loving me, but some things I do are just so f*(*& stupid, or are things I keep doing even though I know what I need to do to avoid them but I don't do it, that I just am embarassed to tell anyone. Even my therapist at times. I wish there was someone in the world I could tell every little thing to, as if somehow that would purge my soul. I would make a good Catholic! :-P

  • Maverick

    If I'm asked a direct question, I won't lie. But I NEVER volunteer anything! Never tell anyone where the bodies are buried. Never tell your spouse anything you don't want to have come back at you in divorce court. You should be married 100 years and still have your mate say every now and again," I never knew that about you!" Most guys are way too quick to spill their guts at their first opportunity in a relationship. They think the girl will love them more for it...wrong. "When there's no more wine in the bottle, the parties over!" Maverick You guys know way more about me than any of my lady friends do!

  • blondie


  • Englishman

    It depends on whether you're in a partnership or an ownership!

    If a future partner told me that she had never had a sexual relationship and then it turned out that she'd lied, I would feel very betrayed.

    But if she said that she had had some sexual experiences, then that would suffice. No way would I want to know any of the details though, to my mind that would be a very childish and immature request. Neither do I see any reason to paint pictures in a partners mind of one's sexual activities before the relationship started, that again is just plain childish IMHO...And maybe a little bit self centred.

    To my mind a good relationship doesn't make demands so that one has to hide things. I've been to a couple of "Gentlemen's Evenings" and said where I was going beforehand without fearing a censoring. On the other hand no way would I ever play around because that would be a betrayal.


  • rocketman
    But of course, I didn't tell her about the time I gave this girlfriend at the time a hickey on her shoulder

    Hmmmm....shoulder hickey.....haven't seen those, or given any. Could be fun!

    *picturing luscious, well rounded female shoulder to indulge in*

  • stillajwexelder

    No -she konows I have read COC etc, and I leave it on display on my bookshelf but does not know I post on this "disgusting apostate" board -- otherwise I tell her all other stuff

  • arrowstar

    Savage & Englishman - Well said.

    It comes back to trust in the partner and the integrity of the relationship. Each person brings something different to the relationship. But, there must always be honesty. It's vital. No one wants to be side-swiped. If there is honesty and trust as a foundation, people can work through any issues that come to the forefront. I'm not saying that you have to tell about every encounter you've ever had since you drew your first breath. I'm saying you have to be honest about what will or may impact the relationship. If you start from day one with a commitment to each other to be honest in the relationship, then it stands a fair chance of growing and lasting.

    I can deal with just about anything, if you're honest with me. It's when you lie to me and I find out the truth can I ever trust you again? Chances are I can't. Why should I?

    doodle -

    I know it wasn't easy for you to tell him everything. But that sense of relief you feel right now is a powerful and wonderful thing. Hold on to it, hon ..and hold on to him. You two are quite a lucky couple.

    Lisa / Arrowstar

  • rocketman

    I don't disclose everything, nor do I expect my wife to. To me, some things are simply private, and I think she deserves that too.

  • arrowstar
    I don't disclose everything, nor do I expect my wife to. To me, some things are simply private, and I think she deserves that too.

    It's not a matter of disclosing everything. There should be some sense of self identity. What I'm speaking of are the things that would somehow impact what you share together. Lisa

  • drwtsn32
    Like telling drwtsn that I closed the garage door on his beloved car

    WTF?!?!?! :::runs out to check my beloved car:::

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