by minimus 46 Replies latest jw friends
They will welcome her with open arms! My office reacted with such love and kindness when I let it be known that I was going to try out this birthday/holiday thing. One friend gave me a Christmas ornament because, as she said, she wanted to help me start out right. All I felt was a lot of love and rejoicing that I had joined the real world! Tell her to jump in and have a ball!
Nina
Mr. Lebowski, I certainly DO appreciate your input! Just because we might have a difference of view on another matter, it doesn't mean that I wouldn't want your suggestions...Nina, I think I'll buy her a BIG pumpkin for Halloween.
I read these comments to my wife and she felt better knowing that others have experienced the same situation.
I'm so pleased to hear that she's gotten to this point! Congratulation! I know you walked on egg shells for a while. Does this mean that you're both fully "out?"
atually that is the easy part of leaving wt--
have her invite them over to the house, go to their house or call them on the phone- tell them what she has read and learned-
in my personal exp and the exp of almost every single person i have spoken to in the last 7yrs of being on the net almost to the man/woman every person has indicated thier NONJW FAMILY welcomed them with open arms
in fact many have stated their family would pray for them to get out of the wt cult-
nonjw are not indoctrinated with the JUDGEMENT MINDSET that jw are trained with - instead as Ray says you judge each person based on their merit as a person, not their meeting attendance , titles /positions/ hours, or comments at the meeting that is
how jw judge person, nonjw don't have that as their basis-
she will find IF SHE EXPLAINS HOW SHE WAS DUPED her family will open thier arms
for us i had family here in dc that when we told them we left they thru a party for us- smile
If you've left all your family and friends for "the truth" and then you realize how everything you did was for nothing, how do you just go back, especially, if it's been 25 years???
I never left my family and friends because all my family and friends were witnesses cuz I was raised one them sombitches
How do you go back?
I can say that all "worldly relatives" which I could count on less than one hand in my case.....there were some on my dads side ( all Mormons) who would GLADLY welcome the thought that you were out of the Witnesses. Everyone is glad to hear of a story where one exits the dub bastards.......unless they are totally un-informes of dub teachings.
I have been glad to tell old workmates and other I knew but didn't get close to because of being a dub, that I was no longer am a dub and the feelings are always in the positive from them......especially christian people.
Gumby
Gumby
Congratualtions Mrs Minimus and welcome (even if you are just reading at this point)
I too had to make this adjustment. In my case it was really weird. I left 15 years ago and in that time another uncle and his family left and I had not seen them in the 15 years since I had left. Another aunt had BECOME a JW in that time
On my way to moving across country I stopped in their area and my aunt who had BECOME the JW was having a get-together for her son and the family who happened to be in town at the same time. I had not seen any of these cousins since I was a child. I had no idea how they would react to me if I showed up. It was such a mixed bag - never-beens, just becames, and DFed and DAed and true blue apostates like me.
Well I walked in and was greeted by such warmth and love. When my recently left aunt and uncle walked in she came over and grabbed me. We just sobbed in each others arms. My JW mother who was there had to leave the room so she wouldn't show how she felt about our reunion but every single other person there - JWs and non and ex where so pleased for us and so welcoming.
It was the most awesome display of unconditional love I have ever experienced. It was family and it was wonderful.
Explanations could be made before (you have time before the holidays roll around). Apologies for the lost years and a desire to learn about these family times and how you might need some assistance in learning the ins and outs of them. Some might have some anger at the lost years but the ones you would want to be close to will welcome you with all the love they can muster and it won't be conditional. Its been there all along - just all those stupid rules prevented everyone from showing it
Give just one a call and let them know about the changes and see what happens. I bet you will receive an avalanche of love and welcomes to the real world
Lady lee,
Well I walked in and was greeted by such warmth and love. When my recently left aunt and uncle walked in she came over and grabbed me. We just sobbed in each others arms. My JW mother who was there had to leave the room so she wouldn't show how she felt about our reunion but every single other person there - JWs and non and ex where so pleased for us and so welcoming.
I don't think there are too many dubs who feel good about the shunning policy.......especially family if they don't already hate one another. My mom is a devout dub and says I am her son and she will see me and talk to me no matter what. Actually many dubs will speak to a dfed one if the DFed one isn't a known butthole.
It goes agiainst human nature to shun your own flesh and blood and anyone you love or are extreemly close to.
Gumby
Gumby
My aunt who recently became a JW has one daughter who is DFed. My aunt told me recently that if the elders told her she cannot talk to her DFed daughter she will tell them to stuff it. Her love for family is larger than the JW petty rules.
As for my mother - she is a cold one. But I think she felt bad that our reunion included a huge wall - from the JW rules in part but even if she left there was just so much abuse from her that I doubt we could ever fell that closeness and she knows that. That hurts her on some level but I think she is so damaged as a human being that it would take years of therapy for her to overcome her past and her abuse of her children. At 70 I doubt she is willing or able to do it
But the rest of the family is where I would be if we were closer (like within the same province might help)
I like your comments regarding telling the family that you've read information that convinces you that you made a mistake and that you want them to know about it. It's a humbling thing to do but it gives the family a feeling that they are helping you, too.
