How do I handle this situation?

by BarelyThere 65 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Hadriel

  @BarelyThere you should absolutely report it. It is your account. You could approach it that it is difficult to return to Jah with this sort of harmful gossip and slander and that you would appreciate him creating a new account or changing the email address. (you can only do this once or twice on FB so if you have done it before he may have to get a new account). Stress that it is really hurtful and makes it difficult to build your faith when leaders in the congregation are engaging in such things.

  I would suggest you quit looking at it regardless. Like in Pitch Perfect it's like the piece of burrito on "fat Amy''s" neck it will only fuel your hate fire...lol (gotta make light of it)
• 

  Witness My Fury

  You have a back door into his world, why close it over so little?

  I'd keep that going in case anything better (worse) turns up.
• 

  EndofMysteries

  If you've been to every meeting the past 6+ months and nothing happening then call to talk w/ elders.

  Also depends if any of the elders are nice good people or not. Some halls have good ones who care and believe in what they do then you have the power hungry ahole ones.

  Can show the messages by telling how it happened. You checked your email in one of your email accounts that you only periodically check. Saw facebook notifications for an account you had made for ex and assumed he'd not being using it anymore. Logged in and saw those messages. Tell them you're trying to get reinstated and those messages discouraged and you want to know what they think of your progress and if the MS statements are felt among elders if you should contact Bethel or switch halls. Actually even if switching halls is better due to the general people in the hall, would still want it resolved beforehand else the elders might send a bad report that makes it take much longer to get reinstated.
• 

  Doubting Bro

  I agree with the others that say you do nothing with it. It's not going to help you at all, the elders don't really care what you say and the only thing its going to do is delay your stated goal of reinstatement.

  I'm not saying its right, but there's no advantage to you in disclosing it.

  Sorry you have to go through this.
• 

  stan livedeath

  apart from fear of ( maybe ) losing family through shunning---why on earth else would you want to go back to having to suck up to those jumped up tin pot two bob little hitlers. why play their stupid game ?

  what makes you think your family will have anything to do with you if you do fade ? are they really so spineless and shallow ?
• 

  Crazyguy

  Keep it under your hat and get reinstated, then fade away. If your family then inquires to your fade, show them these emails. This will work long term in your favor.
• 

  My Name is of No Consequence

  @ BarelyThere:

  What makes you think that after you get reinstated, your family is going to welcome you back with open arms?

  The relationship that you had with your family prior to you being df'd will never be the same.
• 

  Heartsafire

  Barely there,

  Please keep us posted as to what you decide to do and how it works out for you. No matter what happens don't forget we are here for you, and feel free to vent. Hopefully everything works out in your favor.
• 

  wheelwithinwheel

  Sounds like you don’t get it.

  You’re the sinner here. Put your head down and do your time.

  And don’t forget, even if the elders really begin to think you just might be repentant and have some regrets, they will take into consideration how the congregation’s going to feel about an early reinstatement.

  It sounds by the comments made that everyone believes you played the ‘get rid of my crappy husband free’ card. If that is the case the elders will probably tack on more time just to put the fear of God into anyone else thinking of copying your idea.

  So grab yourself a chair and put your patience hat on. It’s only been a few months. You could be in for a long haul.

  Wheels

  P.S. if you want to lengthen the process, keep your boyfriend or marry him. It will confirm their suspicions.
• 

  joe134cd

  I dear say if it was the MS who used the word whore then perhaps there might be reason for complaint or removal. It was your ex husband and it was the MS who was giving his reaction to how he views you. Well I guess you made your bed now live in it and the reputation the goes with it.