How do I handle this situation?

by BarelyThere 65 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Listener

  It demonstrates the sort of people that are appointed to positions of MS or Elder and it says a lot about their process and spiritual insight.

  They already know that they have people like this in these positions because there are articles stating that the r&f are not to murmur about them and if you feel they have done wrong then you just have to accept it.

  Keep the messages and there may be a time in the future that you want to show your loved ones who are still in just how this organization operates.
• 

  just fine

  Unfortunately I think most persons in the JW religion are like the MS. They are so judgemental they can't see their own lack of love. It's sad really.

  Change the password on the email. Change all the lost password questions. If it's in your name there is nothing he can do about it. Or reply to one of the emails saying that if they are going to talk about you in such a manner the least they can do is not do it on YOUR email.
• 

  The Searcher

  Move congregations immediately, and don't reveal anything to any J.W.'s.

  If you stay and/or say the wrong thing, you'll be in the wilderness for a long, long time.

  The wolves will have you for breakfast.
• 

  sowhatnow

  omg,I feel so bad for you. Id FLIP!
  

  is it really worth letting all those people walk all over your emotions and person, for contact with your family? unless you have some reason why you need them in your life, of course we dont know your situation. but that's absolutely sickening behavior. and yes the cong never looks at someone who was DF the same way again. its like you have a scarlet letter permanently on you.
  

  one of my elder uncles once showed my now out son, his 'routine', and paperwork, had a chat with him about how things work.

  and when my son got home, he [my son] told me that all records of everything you do go to the new cong you go to. [my son never went to a meeting again]

  so there is no way 'new' elders are going to be any more likely to reinstate you any faster, or if at all. they keep in communication with the others. it might help though not being around all those old PIA's lol.
  

  i knew of a man who was DF for having an dirty home, [yes they can do that] for years he was df, and died never being reinstated. he never did anything unscriptural, nor did his wife who died while he was DF.
  

  to be honest, and i know you dont want to rock the boat, but omg,
  

  here is what Id do

  Id print up every one of those emails.

  Id call for a meeting with the elder body and my x

  Id take someone trustworthy with me, like a close friend as a second witness.
  

  Id lay those emails out on the table and have my friend read them.

  then Id walk out, saying,

  May Jehovah judge you with what judgment you gave me.

  just sayin.
  
• 

  WingCommander

  Um, I'm sure you know you're already in the wrong for having an affair while still married, and even you admit how you can see why your ex-husband has every right to be mad at you. I'd say that what he said between him and an MS is privileged information, between them. It's their opinion. It does show you however how the MS and others feel, so consider it special insight, a window into their minds.

  Now, knowing all this, what are you going to do? Do you really think bringing private, privileged correspondence to your Body of Elders who are automatically on the male MS's side, going to hurt THEM, or YOU? It's not going to do a damn thing except cause them to think you are a complete shit-stirrer. You'll NEVER be reinstated!!! Is the MS a douchebag? Most likely. Is the male-run Elder body going to do a damn thing about it based upon your tattling to them about it? Absolutely NOT, and YOU will be made out to be the bad guy. It's called, "Victim Shaming", and these freakin' clowns have it down to a science.

  My advice? Either a.) Get the out of that freakin' cult NOW, or b.) if you want to retain family ties, smile, come to all meetings, play the "reinstatement game", then fade out afterwards while retaining family ties. Then, send that douchebag of an MS a "get f*cked" card, anonymously.

  The choice is yours.
  
• 

  the girl next door

  Don't show your hand.
• 

  Giordano

  WC does it change your opinion about confidentiality to learn the following:

  This morning I was checking an old email account that I never use. I realized that my ex husband was still using the Facebook I had made for him on that email. I was getting email notifications for everything he was doing. He has been messaging a MS in my cong.

  That indicates that she was legally receiving notifications every time this guy was posting. He can't be that dumb......well maybe. But there is also a good chance that he knows she can read what they are saying and he's rubbing her face in it continuously.

  
  
  
• 

  WingCommander

  ^^^^ Actually, no it doesn't change my outlook. It's HIS email, not hers. He should honestly change the email account password, and the ex-wife should stop snooping into his personal communications. She's just pissed because it's about HER. If he and the MS were talking about anyone else or about the Steelers losing to Denver, this wouldn't even be an issue.

  I gave my opinion. You know damn well I'm right concerning how the Elder's would handle it IF she were naive enough to bring it to their attention. She'd be in even more crap than she's already in. She stated she wants to be reinstated for her other family ties. Well then, suck that crap up and smile about it, because creating waves at this point is only going to make them crash down on yourself. Play the game, get reinstated, then fade - PERMENANTLY. That's the only way to get out of this cult and retain any resemblance of dignity or face. That is, unless you don't care about the brainwashed family you have in, or don't have anyone else in, in which case you tell them all to go eat out Lett's clown ass with a shovel.
  
• 

  BarelyThere

  I just want to clarify, it is MY email account, not his. I made my ex his Facebook with one of MY email addresses. When I logged into the email this morning, I was looking for some old information I had stored in there, not related to any of this. I wasn't going snooping, it's my account. That's why I'm surprised he keeps using a FB that's connected to an email address that doesn't belong to him.
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  just fine

  I read that it was your email account- that was clear in your original post. People need to READ more and judge less.

  People have no reasonable expectation of privacy when they use YOUR email.