Does the WT attract needy dysfunctional type of people?

by William Penwell 52 Replies latest jw experiences

  • William Penwell
    William Penwell

    In your personal experience, do you think that the WT attracts needy types of people?

    Over the years, my experience is that they do attract very needy, insecure, dysfunctional, types.

    I had an acquaintance that I just basically cut off. She is very needy, insecure, dysfunctional. She is passive aggressive and a narcissist that everything was about her. She would keep a score card about all the favors she did for me, forgetting that a friendship is a two way street as she didn't see all that I did for her. I never minded doing her favors and I did not ask for anything in return. She was the one that would say, well you did this for me I will treat you for coffee or lunch. My mistake as she throw this in my face in the end. Well the finale straw was because I was not available to jump when she ask me to do her a favor and then she flips out, so I just quit responding to her messages and phone calls. In the end I nicely suggested that I did not have the time and that it best she asked someone else to help her out. Well when she realized that she couldn't manipulate me anymore she shows her true colors and starts to use "logical fallacies" and you just took advantage of our friendship to try and guilt and discredit me. Then she goes on to say that she was glad as I showed my "true" colors and that how Jehovah provides for her when she needs him. Well it took her over twenty years to figure this out? Why did I put up with this you may ask, I felt a bit of an obligation to my now deceased mother. Anyway I had enough and have completely cut her out. Life is too short to waste it on toxic people.

    Just wonder if anyone else has had these types of experience with J dubs?

  • sparrowdown

    I think it not only attracts them it creates them.

  • OneEyedJoe

    Mostly it "attracts" people who were born to JW parents. Then the JW upbringing probably creates a lot of dysfunctional personality traits in people. Though I will say that literally every convert I've met is either obviously a little "off" or they have some past that makes them an obvious mark for a cult (alcoholic, displaced by natural disaster, immigrant with no local family, etc).

  • Acts5v29

    Certainly I was when I joined, in many ways. I had a love for God and felt it was incomplete, but sure - I was very insecure, and quite easily frightened.

  • LongHairGal

    William Penwell:

    I would have to answer Yes, especially nowadays. The caliber of people there is not like it was thirty years ago.

    Part of the reason is because in the last decade or so the religion wanted to fill the empty seats because of the large number of JWs who left (probably after 1995)....They started studies with individuals with serious "issues" and even ex-cons.

    Well, they're NOT introducing them to me!

    Also, as another poster mentioned, the religion "creates" dysfunctional and needy people. It cripples them by policies against higher education and careers. It also promotes emotional problems in the sense that it makes people feel unworthy and not doing enough.

    I am also of the opinion that the religion creates people very adept at being users, even if they didn't start out that way.

    While these were not the actual reasons I walked away from the religion, they sure make me glad I did.

  • stephanie61092

    Yes! The only new "convert" in my congregation has clear mental deficiencies. A very kind woman, but I don't have to be a MD to know that she has some definite imbalances going on.

    even this weekend I was helping my parents (who have resumed their relationship with me despite being DFd - yay!) clean out and we came across some old WT books. I tried planting a seed by saying "we can throw these away because the doctrine has changed so much. These probably aren't even what we believe any more." My mom ignores that comment but did say "those books were deep. It's all pretty frilly now. I think it's too appeal to everyone coming into the organization and I don't think everyone coming in can handle critical thinking topics." Even the people still "in" know that the society has to appeal to a populous with lower intellect!

  • ttdtt

    Yup. I remember for years friends would joke that we attract some real oddballs.

  • talesin

    Yes, and I would add that needy people are often narcissistic, and always passive-aggressive. *


    * see "Holier Than Thou, subpara. Shunning"

  • Finkelstein

    Yes and the Org also attracts people searching for answers to their personal problems , thinking god or this organization can help them out . That appeal to open themselves up deeply to those set controls is when it becomes an over bearing hardship mixed up with guilt, anxiety and fear..

    Its for this reason that the JWS has such a low retention rate among its members.

  • brandnew

    Yup !!!!! Sometimes my father is asked to take home a person that doesnt have transportation. All the way to this persons house he just talks to my dad , and totally ignores me....even when he gets outta the car , he thanks my dad and totally brushes me off. It doesnt hurt not one feeling for me but it shows how ungrateful , and brainwashed people in the org are. Yes im proud to be df'd.....goin on 20 years now😃

    Mad Puppy

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