We told the Children!!

by 2escaped lifers 36 Replies latest jw friends

  • 2escaped lifers
    2escaped lifers

    Hiya Everyone!!! As we told you in our short intro, we decided that we had enough Proof? Evidence? whatever, to finally make the decision not to ever go back to the "Bright and Shinies." (from the movie "Bubble Boy") It took us two years of heart wrenching research, prayer, soul searching, and discussions to come to this conclusion. We held off telling the children (two boys, one almost 9, the other10.5 years old) until we were sure of our decision and course of action. We had discussed with them, when they would ask why we missed meetings or didn't study the Watchtower or other books with them anymore, that we were taking some time to make absolutely sure we were in the "right religion". They seemed to understand and be OK with this explanation. Now that we had definitely made our decision, it was time to break the news to the kids...

    Well, we had been telling the children the last couple weeks that when the time came, we would explain things to them about our not going to any meetings, and about bits and pieces they had picked up from the conversations that they were not supposed to hear. Like the words hypocrite, for instance. They heard that one alot.... Anyway, we told them that we were going on a picnic this weekend and we would explain things. So,.......

    We sat them down with some ice cream (we had to have some too, just to make them more comfortable, of course ) at Dairy Queen. After giving them examples of instances where someone might act contrary to what they knew was appropriate behavior etc. (not specifics, mind you, all generalities) we explained that the organization was acting this way and wasn't that wrong? More specifically, we gave them an example: What if you told someone a story that wasn't true, but you swore to them that it WAS true, and that they should believe it and change something they were doing in their life because of your story. But what if, a few years later, after this person had changed their life because of your story, you told them a different story that they should live by. And they said "hey, but you told me to do this", and you lied AGAIN and said that you never told them the first story. They agreed that that was really wrong, and bad. We then gave them some real examples of faulty and changing WTS teachings, and told them that we had finally made our decision that we were in fact in the "wrong religion", and that we would not be going back to the Kingdom Hall. Then we waited, holding our breath, to see what their resonse would be.....

    Shock! Disbelief! ...................But not from them, from US!!!!!

    They wholeheartedly agreed, and began telling us about things that they had heard and read that didn't make sense to them, and just seemed plain incorrect. (Remember, they are 9 and 10!! ) They got tickled about the Borg reference (the "Borganization") and said that they forgave us for teaching them these things since we were only teaching them what WE had been taught was correct since we were children. Our youngest actually said, "that's OK .You didn't know any better." They also said that they wanted the "red pill" not the "blue pill" (they are big fans of The Matrix) and they wanted to know the truth even if it may mean things would be different than they were taught to expect. Not to sound like overly prejudiced parents or anything, but WOW!!! How perceptive and mature, these amazing little guys!!!

    So, anyway, it went really well. Thanks again for all the support and kindness. We hope to not only enjoy further encouragement here, but to also share as much as we can with others, as we all go through this roller coaster ride together!

    Best regards,

    Brandon and Stephanie

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    WOWOWOW! Congratulations, Brandon & Stephanie! Aren't kids GREAT!!! Kids are NOT as easily snowed or overwhelmed by a 180 degree turnaround in circumstances or "truth" as many expect them to be....I'm so happy for yall....I just hope yall can easily walk away from the borg without the trauma of shunning and overt criticism from yall's former acquaintances....

    Frannie B

  • jst2laws

    Hello Brandon and Stephanie

    I am glad for you both. You sound like real parents with real kids despite your Borg experience.

    I remember clearly when we, Joy and I, told our children. It was like "what took you so long". They are older then yours but were glad their fundamentalist parents finally got real. We can relate completely to your experience.


  • Prisca

    Aren't kids perceptive? It's amazing the things they pick up when we are thinking things are going straight over their heads.

    Glad to hear that you have a good rapport with your kids.

    They sound pretty cool themselves too!

  • jgnat

    Wow! That's fantastic! You have a couple of great kids, there. But you knew that already.


    How you gonna tell Grandma and Grandpa?

  • 2escaped lifers
    2escaped lifers

    TWO sets of Grandparents no less, both sets are diehard (long time Elders, special priviledges, etc.)....

    Not gonna be pretty...

    Thanks for all the kind comments everyone!!!!!

  • Simon

    Congratulations Brandon and Stephanie !!

    Ours were too young to really remember it and we never had to explain it to them. I know others with older kids and they don't miss it at all either !

    Kids are always smarter than us eh?!

  • core

    Our children knew before us it was wrong and tried to tell us - but, of course, we would not listen.

    It took a catastrophic event to open our eyes and move us out. We had known from the early 90's it was wrong but when you have been in for 40 odd years it is the hardest thing to admit to yourself you have wasted so much of your life and energies. The kids are delighted we are out - but it does mean that an iron curtain has descended from other family members who are still in.

  • core

    sorry duplicated somehow - too quick pressing keys!

  • Gopher

    Brandon and Stephanie,

    I would like to mark you "G" for excellent use of illustrations. And commend you for being kind, caring parents. The way you presented the "truth about the truth", breaking it down -- was great. It sounds like you and your children have a great way of communication with each other, which is not typical of JW families (that I've seen).

    Way to go, and congratulations -- your whole family is "on board" now!!

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