Ridiculous ways you kept your "time going" in service?

by HereIgo 34 Replies latest jw experiences

  • rebel8

    I hated all of the cheating on hours.

    Start your time on the way to the KH by dropping off some yellowed back issues in a laundromat, bonus points if you drive really slowly. Then go to the service meeting or whatever it's called where you put napkins on your head because there's a 3-yr-old boy present, then split up your territory cards and car groups. Count your time while in the KH, drag your feet afterwards, and drive to the territory. So far, you have dumped some moldy issues in a dirty foyer, and you count 2 hours and 5 placements. LOL.

    Then lots of tricks while you're out. Walk & drive really slowly. Purposely do back calls across town so you can count time while driving.

    Each car group member needs to take a bathroom break at a different time while the others wait.

    Jehovah is a kind boss who gives paid breaks, so be sure to take 2 morning breaks, a lunch break and an afternoon break. Linger at each break by talking loudly about how bad the world is getting, and you can stretch the truth to claim you were witnessing to the other coffee shop patrons.

    Do back calls while everybody in the car group waits, counting their time.

    Visit an inactive, unbaptized or lonely single person, count your time while having tea and bonbons.

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    lets see

    me= young pioneer in my mid teens--cleaning windows 3 days a week.

    service days--on the way to meet my pioneer partner--knock a nearby door where i knew no-one was home--leave a tract. catch a bus to our regular coffee bar.

    we spent hours in there--the greek cypriot owner gave us free coffee to keep us there to make the place look a bit less empty. in return we found a way to cheat the pin ball machine to get free games. got very good at it. fiddling service hours is nothing new.

  • ttdtt

    I did research at the Library - looking up names for potential foreign language group to contact.

    This was the COs suggestion. That was pretty easy time for a pioneer.

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    a few years later--i moved to a different kingdom shack---a rented dump shared with another congregashun. but this was purely to get away from my overbearing parents and be with my girlfriend. i started pioneering again.

    time always started from the first door knocked--then travel to the group meeting place--coffee and biscuits--natter--days text--about an hour. then knock a few doors. mostly not home or lonely old people.

    the slightest hint of rain--then it was off to a snooker hall ( a bit like pool )---or--even better--a ten pin bowling alley. dirt cheap on weekday daytimes. got quite good at it.

    either way--it was an 8 hour door knocking day.

    i developed a fair sized magazine route--back in those days pioneers paid 1/4 of the price for the rags--so made a good profit out of them. paid for my petrol.

    did that for 3 years all told. what a waste of a young life.

  • exjwlemming

    Ever hear of the pioneer walk? You walk as slow as you possibly can and still be moving forward. It was a common saying in my halls. So and so, is on the next block doing the "pioneer walk."

  • fredPotato

    We had sort of a rule at my old KH: "If you give someone a tract at least once every 15 minutes you can count that whole time". So we'd find a random person every 15 minutes and force a tract on them just to keep the time going. Dreadful days...

  • Londo111

    I'm floored. Of course, now I look back and realize it was all a waste of time.

    I tried to be as honest I could because I believe Jehovah was looking over my shoulder. I didn’t want to end up like Ananias and Sapphira. And of course, it was drilled into me that this had to be both quantity AND quality time. Each meeting and assembly drilled into me that what “little” I did was not quality enough.

    Time had to count…and it was important not to being a leech (that is, driving around doing other people’s return visits and not having any of my own).

    Toward the end, it was no wonder I became a low hour publisher. I will admit sometimes to rounding up to the next hour and sometimes borrowing against the next month sometimes.

    The power this organization shames and guilts a person is incredible.

  • HereIgo

    Yeah it's all a joke. I remember one month my mother had ZERO hours in service for the month, so thats what she turned in. An elder said " no theres no way you didnt talk about jah at all. I dont believe that. Lets just put an hour down" it was shortly before the CO visit, I wasnt dumb. This stuff cant be made up!

  • NewYork44M

    I hated working with those overzealous time keeps who had their own set of rules. Nothing sucked more than being in a car group where this idiot started spouting rules like not counting idle time, and the 15 minute break rule. My uncle was so strict that he only counted time when he was talking someone. He thought it was wrong to count time walking between doors and not-at-homes.

    On the flip side, I remember spending the morning and half a Saturday afternoon driving around making worthless visits to friendly people who had no interest in the religion. It really didn't matter because there was nothing about these calls that would suggest the purpose was to promote a religion. Not even sure they knew what religion we were.

  • redvip2000

    An elder said " no theres no way you didnt talk about jah at all. I dont believe that. Lets just put an hour down" it was shortly before the CO visit, I wasnt dumb

    This happened all the time to me. Towards the end of my delusion, I stopped preaching, but every end of the month an elder would call and ask me how many hours. I answered zero, but for several months, he would convince me to put one hour, inducing me to admit that i certainly must have spoken briefly to different people about the "troof" Then after several months of this, he gave up.

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