PALE EMPEROR- Wow. Really, just wow. I'm just catching up on your entire story. I missed this when you first posted this thread. First of all- let me say that I'm really sorry that you've been exposed to this vitriolic hate speech and lack of honoring boundaries by your father in law. It's absolutely disgusting how he has treated you and your wife. His statement, " Even if this isn't the truth, isn't it a wonderful place for our children to grow up ? " What's your father in law been smoking ? How would you like it if your father in law treated you and your wife's children - the exact same way he has treated both of you ? And that may very well happen if as your children hit their teenage years and decide they want to bolt for freedom of mind outside the organization.
It's great that YOU would always be there unconditionally for your daughter and any of your children- however the damage that can rip a family into a million pieces isn't done by the GOOD people like you- it's done by the mind controlled hatemongers like your father in law in the JW organization. I truly believe part of your wife's emotional problems have come from years of trying to live up to her " daddie dearest " elders expectations and it's caused her to have PTSD.
I know and understand what you and your wife are going through to some extent as I was born and raised by an authoritative elder , a long time City Overseer , who ruled our house with an iron fist. He thought he was Hitler's younger brother in another lifetime- if you get the satire in my humor. To put it mildly- not fun being his son as a teenager, or even since then as an adult. I didn't start completely feeling like MY life was my own until my late 30's almost 40 when I STOPPED trying to please " Daddy Dearest " as I realized NOTHING I ever did would ever please him . Elders are trained by the WT organization to love the organization first, family way down the line after.
THIS is where you and your wife need to get psychologically if you are to find complete happiness in life and stop letting her dad or anybody else try to dictate to you HOW you should live your lives. Your wife's mental health depends on it. If it requires moving away from her parents area- good- do it ! You'll be able to run your own lives and experience much less stress for your young family.
Hopefully your wife is able to see a counselor to deal with her stresses right now, but don't go telling her dad as he'll try to influence her to stop her counseling sessions. Most JW's put down professional counseling. man, buddy I wish you the best but I'm afraid that if you and your wife don't grab hold hard on the reins of the horse in your life that you are riding- her " daddy dearest " elder is going to ride your family horse right off of a cliff to your demise. I would catch the next train or horse for freedom of mind for you, your kid, and your wife with no delays or hesitation. Think about it : With relatives like we have inside the JW organization- who needs enemies ? Go make yourselves some REAL unconditional friends outside the JW cult. We are here for you my friend. Lots of us have gone , or are going through similar situations. If you ever want to chat, just PM me, and I'll give you my phone number. I offer my friendship. Hang in there, Peace out, Mr. Flipper