Who says the Pandemic didn't wake up a lot of people!

by pistolpete 21 Replies latest jw experiences

  • pistolpete
    pistolpete

    There are actually tons of these experiences. I wanted to post this one because it involved all the family of born in jws.

    post;

    All my freakn dreams came true

    JW / Ex-JW Tales

    I did it.

    Long story short, I was a born and raised second generation JW. At age 14 I found the exjw sub and within a day became PIMO.

    At age 18 I was disfellowshipped for sex outside of marriage (EDIT: to clarify, I mean "premarital sex", I am no cheater!) with no remorse (lol). But that was just a guise for me badly wanting a way out of the org.

    I was homeless for 6 months, then lived with random different girls for another year. After many mental breakdowns, 3 suicide attempts, and development of severe CPTSD - I ended up spending another year back at meetings trying to get reinstated so I could see my family again. I really missed them all, specifically my baby brothers.

    Got reinstated, moved back home, PIMO again. A year later I meet a wonderful “worldly” girl at work, we wind up getting married after 3 months of dating.

    I become inactive, and begin my fade from the org.

    3 years later now, age 24 - I get a surprise call from my Dad (an elder and previous uber JW) saying that he has questions for me as he is now starting to “see through the cracks” of the org.

    After 6 months of back and forth sharing of information and open discussion - my father, mother, and younger brothers as of yesterday have all put in their letters of disassociation. And I also sent mine in, although I’ve been inactive for over 3 years, just to make things official.

    My family is freakn free. I never thought this would happen. We used to be that “role model” JW family that everyone should emulate in the congregation…

    Now they are out. I’m one of the lucky ones. I still can’t believe it…

    The trigger point that started all this? The pandemic. They said that having meetings via Zoom and having no more field service actually gave them time to think for themselves and see how ridiculous JW teachings are.

    I’ve been blessed, and Im over the moon. Just wanted to share this with people who’d understand.

    Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

    https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/comments/u6kdc2/all_my_freakn_dreams_came_true/

  • Simon
    Simon
    At age 18 I was disfellowshipped for sex outside of marriage (EDIT: to clarify, I mean "premarital sex", I am no cheater!) with no remorse (lol). But that was just a guise for me badly wanting a way out of the org.
    I was homeless for 6 months, then lived with random different girls for another year. After many mental breakdowns, 3 suicide attempts, and development of severe CPTSD - I ended up spending another year back at meetings trying to get reinstated so I could see my family again. I really missed them all, specifically my baby brothers.
    Got reinstated, moved back home, PIMO again. A year later I meet a wonderful “worldly” girl at work, we wind up getting married after 3 months of dating.

    Sorry, but this is childish and stupid. If you want sex, have sex. If you want to leave the WTS, just leave.

    I feel someone is destined to a life of bad decisions making

    DON'T do what this person does. Stop. Think. Make good choices.

  • StephaneLaliberte
    StephaneLaliberte
    Sorry, but this is childish and stupid. If you want sex, have sex. If you want to leave the WTS, just leave.

    I understand what you mean Simon, people often take roads they don’t have to take and when others look into such stories, they can easily point to the foolishness of it all. However, the human mind is much more complex than this. These “choices” are the results of individuals living with constant influences from school, media, religion, family and friends, and their own individual perception of all of these. These perspectives on life often lead them to believe that they have next to no choices, that there is only one door to walk through, one road to walk. While many options were or are available all along, their field of view is blinded by all these emotions and confused minds.

    Growing wiser, we understand the missed opportunities, the wrong choices we’ve made. But it means more, it also means that we take a pause before acting out on our thoughts and deliberately seek out other alternatives that we may have missed. We try to logically look at things, stripped from our emotions and ask the hard questions. Once we’ve identified more choices, then we are in a better position to do the right thing. Unfortunately, for a great deal of young people who’s life is tightly defined by their religion, this is excessively difficult and mayhem often ensues.

    And like many young people who go through a phase where they are lost, the OP seems to have eventually found a path. A path that has ultimately shed light on the rest of his family.

  • Simon
    Simon

    My point was that I don't think we need to promote this kind of "plan" (or lack of) about leaving the WTS.

    You don't have to go sleep around, get married, take drugs, become homeless or break any rules in order to quit. Break rules if you want to, if you fall in love with someone and genuinely want to marry them, do so, but don't marry some random as a way to get kicked out. Not only is it damaging to your own life, you are potentially screwing over someone else's too.

    We need to promote the idea that people make deliberate choices based on rational decisions.

    Running out a KH and effectively setting fire to yourself isn't any kind of realistic plan.

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    very good to read your news Pete--you must be overjoyed.

    As an aside--i thought you were a lot older than you say.

  • StephaneLaliberte
    StephaneLaliberte
    We need to promote the idea that people make deliberate choices based on rational decisions.

    This is actually something I've seen on this board through the years and one of the reasons I like this place soo much. From time to time, we see young folks ask questions on these forums and plenty of us make sound advises. I don't know if these advises are followed, but at least, this is a place they can come to in order to be shown things in a perspective they are not used to.

    For instance, one of my favorites that I've seen plenty of time: Young ones that no longer believe should keep attending the meetings and go out in service and play along until they are done with college and then leave everything behind. Not simply go out in a blaze of glory, but carefully prepare their exit plan.

  • MeanMrMustard
    MeanMrMustard
    We need to promote the idea that people make deliberate choices based on rational decisions.

    And this applies to the people who do the rejecting. We might be tempted to put it all on the shoulders of the WT. But the parents that reject their own children have made a deliberate choice too, and they shouldn't be let off for it.

  • joe134cd
    joe134cd

    I’m not a fan of DAing. Don’t fix what ain’t broken.

  • Disillusioned JW
    Disillusioned JW

    I think the reason why some people officially leave the JW religion by means of committing fornication instead of officially disassociating is because of the following two reasons.

    • (1) Apparently (based upon what I have online) is that JWs in general (including elders) consider being a fornicator (especially if one only commits one act of fornication) as being fare less bad than submitting a letter of dissociation (especially if the letter says one disagrees with a number of WT teachings). It has been reported on this site that the elders and the WT especially is worried that a JW (or recent ex-JW) may be what the WT labels as an apostate. it is said that is because they fear that the apostate might share their beliefs and knowledge with believing JWs and thereby cause them to have doubts and maybe even leave the religion.
    • (2) I have read that if a person later decides they want to officially become a JW again (for example, perhaps in order to again have social contact with their JW family), they can more easily do so (and it might take less time to do) if they had been disfellowshipped for committing fornication, than if the means of them officially having left was by disassociation (especially if it involved what the WT considers to be apostacy).
    • For example, at https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5719308305956864/who-partaking-upcoming-memorial-april-15-2022 bola said the following (the bold face is added by me for emphasis). "I am just partaking for the sake of it. I cannot be reinstated after I have disassociated for 5 years and not partake. I am actually aware of the FOG in Watchtower." I am not aware that the WT has that specific policy, but maybe it does. Is it mentioned in the book for elders?

    People don't need to do something potentially very dangerous (and what many consider immoral and which will [or might] very adversely effect them for the rest of their lives) in order to quit. For example, they do not need to quit by means of committing fornication, theft, acts of violence, illicit drug use, etc.. Furthermore for most JWs who want to quit, it is probably best to not officially quit. In other words, probably the best way (for most people) to quit is not by getting disfellowshipped or by disassociating. Well then what other way is there to quit, other than doing so officially?

    For most people the best way to quit would be to quit informally (instead of officially). How? It would be by simply becoming inactive in field service and by ceasing to attend all JW meetings (including the Memorial), whether one does so gradually (probably safer, if one wants to continue to have social contact with JW family members) or suddenly.

  • Disillusioned JW
    Disillusioned JW

    WOW pistolepete that is great that your father, mother, and younger brothers are no longer JWs and that you are thus now free! Cheers! Since those relatives of yours "all put in their letters of disassociation" you thus had very little to loose by submitting your letter of disassociation also. I am glad you are free now. I wish there was a way I could disassociate (and thus make my exodus from the WT's religion official) without loosing my mom and sister (they are both devout JWs who want to remain such).

    I have pointed out to my mom (and to a lessor degree to my sister) problems I see in some of the WT's teachings, and that the WT's past doctrines show they (and the governing body) are not being especially used by Jehovah. I even wrote letters to my mom telling her some of these things. I even mailed to my mom photocopies showing evidence of quotes by WT misrepresenting scientists comments about evolution.[Unfortunately, she said she did not understand the photocopies of the scientific literature (about evolution) which I presented to her.] But my efforts of trying to 'wake up" my mom have not been effective. Furthermore, she doesn't want to stop believing in the WT or Jehovah - after all she is now elderly and she very strongly wants to live forever in a paradise Earth. For her the belief in the resurrection enables her to accept that she might die before the "new order" arrives.

    I am sad though that you had been "homeless for 6 months", had "many mental breakdowns, 3 suicide attempts, and development of severe CPTSD". It is too bad you experienced those things.

    Like stan livedeath I also thought you were much older than 24 to 25 years old. Now that I know you are in your mid-20s that helps me to understand the perspective that some of your posts are coming from. I'm significantly over age 45, but in this post I don't intend to say how much older I am than that.

    Correction: In my prior post when I said "... what I have online ... as being fare less bad ..." I meant to say "... what I have read online ...as being far less bad ".

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