Had twin babies with a married JW?!?!?!?!?!?! advice & thoughts
@_morpheus thanks for the advice and strong words. Things like blood transfusion and them not enjoy the holidays and being regular kids really bother me so ill be ask my lawyer to assist me in that I really one to try and get my joint legal and physical custody and work it in such a way where they spend holidays with me.
I know this is a difficult matter for you, but have you considered just letting the twins grow up without you? If they can be assimilated into the present family and raised in a good home, you'll only be a distraction. I realize they're part of you, but it might be best for everyone if you weren't there as a constant reminder of this woman's infidelity.
It might be best just to cut out and leave the twins in the care of their family. Let them bury the past for the sake of their kids. If you get involved legally, you might destroy the integrity of the family. It makes me ill to think they're going to be raised in that religion, but do you intend to undermine the religious beliefs of the kids while the couple is raising them?
What are your legal rights and wishes regarding this matter?
Since you invited all questions, let me ask a personal one. This woman hid her ring and marital status for a long time. Was she anxious to have a physical relationship? And who initiated it, you or her? Do you think she wanted a long term relationship with you at the time? And why wasn't she on birth control? Many times when twins are involved, women are actually taking fertility meds. Any chance this was the case...that she was trying to get pregnant?
I know you want to be a part of these kids' lives, but like I said, it might seriously damage the relationship of the family. Is it possible you want this woman to leave her husband and marry you, or is that not part of the equation?
Whatever happens, good luck.
I think this is a load of bull.
A fantasist has found our site.
You haven't seen your twin daughters for 2 months? Aww. That must be hard on you. They grow so quickly.
I have no idea which country you are in but I am guessing your lawyer is working on that for you.
I say congratulations to you and your girls. You seem like a nice guy. You didn't realize you were interested and falling in love with a married woman. Why would she hide that fact from an obviously attentive man? That is being deceitful right off the bat.
The above posters have given you good information. You can be the difference in these little ones lives. Birthdays and Christmas. All they are are just marking a happy time. JW..org wants to control every aspect of their members lives. You can influence them for the better.
Hugs to you for being a good guy. I am happy for your little girls that they have such a strong and caring Daddy that loves them very much.
Do not give an inch or give up on seeing your kids if you want them in your life and you want them to have any idea of what a normal life is. Jws are a CULT.
@pale- this is the internet. Anyone can be anyone they want and i certainly considered your proposition, but hell it only takes a few minutes to give a reasonable answer and if someone gets off on child custody issues then trolling us is the least of their issues. I figured to treat it seriously since its a legitimate issue for some, custody and jw'isum.
@cold steel - have you considered just letting the twins grow up without you?
yeah i considered it, i thought about it for months before they were born. i just cant do it, they deserve to know im there father, i feel like its the right thing to do for them, i can imagine them growing up and finding about how there JW mother committed adultery and they were born as a result of it. I heard a lot about jw's trying to commit suicide, having mental illness, depression and all sorts of things. They need to have a safe haven, a place or someone they can go to to ask question about life without referring to a bible scripture.
What are your legal rights and wishes regarding this matter?
i want to be in my daughters lives, i dont want it to be controlled or having the mother and step father keeping secrets, if she was so much of a witness she knows the consequences of her actions. i want to have joint legal and physical custody if i can. At least give them a chance to experience what it like to enjoy both sides of our religions.
Was she anxious to have a physical relationship? And who initiated it, you or her?
in the beginning we both were just talking then it became much more. much more as in first we talk then we had our first kiss then hey let it the bed. it was a normal relationship process and nothing was forced. we were deeply in love
Do you think she wanted a long term relationship with you at the time?
yes we spoke about marriage and living together, she had doubts and so did i, but we kept the relationship going. we had ups and downs and ultimately she decided for her daughters to end the relationship and to leave me just like that
And why wasn't she on birth control? she hated condoms ,she says it uncomfortable, we used it in the beginning but she hated it. it was stupid, even her own husband told her to use it LMAO. and yes i know there is other means of birth control but we didnt mind having babies together. we were blinded by love i guess. we both had same goals in mind but religion.
Is it possible you want this woman to leave her husband and marry you, or is that not part of the equation? After whats she has said and done to me and eveything ive been though. id rather not, she doesnt respect me as a father and doesnt even respect the babies. whats she is doing is a form of child abuse. i havent seen the babies for 2 months, no phone call, text, nada.
She sounds like a piece of work, and treats everyone pretty bad. Shame your life is inextricably linked to hers now.
She probably went back because of the shunning.
Insist your children don't get baptised until they're adults. If JW children delay baptism until adulthood they invariably put it off altogether. That's why the GB are desperate to get children baptised as young as possible.
You certainly have a valid case if she's keeping the children from you, but with that comes a regular payout to her since they are your kids too, BTW I HAVE NO IDEA IF YOU ARE PAYING NOW, but if you take the legal route that can set up regular visits that's going to happen also.
DNA is on your side. Man up and get a good lawyer.