Had twin babies with a married JW?!?!?!?!?!?! advice & thoughts

by Gokumonkey 30 Replies latest social relationships

  • Gokumonkey

    Before i begin i just wanna say, im not proud of what i did, it was wrong but it happened now im just trying to do the right thing.

    Ok so im a "worldly" person and i meet a jw women at my job. i had no idea she was married due to the fact that she hid her wedding ring. I even ask if she was in a relationship and she denied it. We would meet frequently at work and i started to get really into her the more we interacted . One day she told me she was a JW and i had no problem with that but at the time i didn't know anything about the religion only that the vist at peoples home and had out flyers or magz at the local train station.

    Anyway, the relationship grew and i realized i wanted her to be my GF and i could tell she wanted to be with me too. But one day she told me she was married and i was shocked. She then showed my the wedding ring and i was shocked again. i felt bad that this whole time i was dealing with a married women but my feels for her was too strong so we both decided to keep see each other. She told me a bit about her husband, he wasnt the best husband but thats a different story.

    Long story short, we were together for two years and she never got a divorce and then she got pregnant and she decided to go back with her husband saying that i would divide the family and i would make a good father. WTF, i guess its cuz im not a JW. Anyway she left and she gave birth giving the babies the husbands last name and saying they need to talk about how i would see my babies, MIND YOU I TOOK CARE FOR THIS WOMEN DURING THE WHOLE PREGNANCY AND HUSBAND WAS NOT AROUND. They wanted to talk and discuses how it was gonna work out but i already knew about what the JW are capable of so declined and instead summons them to court. I haven't seen my twin daughters for two months, i guess they are shunning me lol, but they cant shun me forever.


  • _Morpheus

    Im not sure what your question is...? You laid out a difficult scenario , for the children , the woman, her husband(?) and yourself.... but what exactly were you asking, especially as it relates to jw'isum? You wisely are taking her to court for visitation and such but what advise or perspective were seeking here?

  • joe134cd

    Yes you must of left a lot if details out, as in JW land it would of been a bit of a far stretch to pull it off. 1st question? I'm guessing she was disfellowshipped.

  • fulano

    So what should we ask you? How was the sex?

  • Gokumonkey
    im looking for different thoughts and opinions on the situation, whether someone been in a similar situation, some warnings i should look out for since she is a JW. things of that nature
  • Gokumonkey

    yeah she was disfellowshipped. no family, no friends, husband left her and only when she got pregnant they came outta the wood works barely.

  • Crazyguy

    Your in a tough spot. Maybe best for you to move on and forget about this situation. Your children will be raised as JWs they will probably be told that the husband is the children's father and your just a relative or something. None of this is good for you and will only cause you great pain. In the end they may only want your around for your child support money.

  • Gokumonkey

    @crazyguy thanks for the honesty. i had a feeling something like this would or might happen. its a sad situation but the end of the day there my kiddies and i cant just walk away so easy without a fight.

  • _Morpheus

    Now that i have a little more perspective on what you are seeking, I would tell you or any other man who asked: dont EVER accept a woman trying to keep you from your children. Take her to court (as you said you have already begun the process of). You will pay child support, as is good and proper for a father, but you damn well should require and enforce visitation, 100% of the time you are granted by the court.

    You should absolutely damn well talk to the children as they grow about your views on life, including their mothers reigious beliefs and your own beliefs (or reasons for the lack thereof).

    You should also DEMAND the court allow you full participation in decisions on child care. She will allow them to die if a blood tranfusion is required so you MUST be sure you are included LEGALLY. Do not EVER take her assurances that she will consult you. Make it LEGAL.

    Celebrate holidays with them if thats your custom. Treat them normally as you see normal amd dont ever accept second class status as a parent.

  • just fine
    just fine

    Fight to be in those kids lives. They will need a stable non crazy parent to help them. Because of the circumstances of their birth, they will be looked down upon by other JWs, and who knows how their step father will treat them.

    and do not trust a verbal agreement with their mother, ever, about anything. Get it recorded in court.

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