Welcome Libby! I have a sister that we called Libby, and unfortunately she shuns me now, a byproduct of the love shown by JWs.
What I see from your posts is that you think we can give you answers. Some here will try to give you definitive answers from the Bible, but just like you scrutinized the JWs and found that they don't add up, sadly most of us have done the same with the Bible and it too is found lacking. Most of us didn't want that, it just happened when we put it through the same rigors as what we had previously believed to be the "truth". Most here are agnostics or atheists.
In the end, once I realized that it was all bull, not just the JWs but the Bible as well, the fear just went away. I realized that the only guarantee is what we have today. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed. Learn to be present, and some mindfulness meditation can help with that. Stop looking to the future or to a deity to cure your problems. You have the power to fix your life if it isn't what you want it to be. We only have one life that any of us us can prove. Anything beyond that is pure speculation. Live this one life to the full! Be a great person, do no harm, help others, pursue your dreams, and enjoy today because that is all we have.
Pascal's wager is a farse. If you don't know what it is, it is basically that he would rather serve god with potentially infinite blessings than to not serve him and find out that he exists later. That intimates that god is an idiot incapable of seeing where we came from, why we chose not to serve him anymore, etc. If he's not reasonable and can't see that he gave us a book full of contradictions and magical tales with riddles in it and then expected us to follow him, then he doesn't understand his creation very well now does he? What loving father would give their kids riddles and tell them to just believe and if they don't would kill them? And isn't god supposed to be the superlative example of such a father?
I don't know if there's a god. If there is that doesn't mean that he's benevolent. He could also be malevolent. The God of the Old Testament is a jerk that promotes raping women and bashing babies against rocks. That Jesus guy is pretty cool, but not a reflection of the god of the OT. As you look around life you start to see the yin and the yang, that things aren't all good or all bad. There's usually some of both. Creation is beautiful and magnificent, but it can also be cruel and horrifyingly ugly.
So I have no reason to fear. What happens when I die? Well, all that anyone knows is that we simply die. We decompose. There are natural processes that aid that. I told my wife just this morning after waking up that "I just died last night when I went to bed", because I slept so soundly and was so tired going in. When you think about it, there isn't much difference, except that I woke up. You've been dead before, we all have. I believe it was Mark Twain that said that he didn't fear death because he had been dead before being born and he had no recollection of it being bad. Ultimately, this is the one area that messes with me because the biggest fear of a JW is to die and never wake up again. Ultimately, this is one huge reason that religions exist, to give people hope over death and to control them, usually for their own benefit. People are afraid of dying. I've been reading books on it and trying to grasp my mortality since leaving the JWs. I wish I had never been given the idea of permanence. When you look around you, death is just as much a part of life as life itself. We should be comfortable with it, but religion has altered our reality.
Go fly and be free Libby! What you see is what you get in life.........and death. Nobody can tell you anything of certainty beyond that. Life is what you make it. We can't give you answers to everything, nobody can. You have to find your own way and to become your own enlightened self. Read and study new perspectives and see what makes sense to you. Learn critical thinking skills and apply them to what you read. Grow as a person and be the best Libby that you can be. Once your eyes are opened and you start seeing the world around you for what it is, you don't need people to tell you what to believe anymore. You'll have confidence in your own interpretation of life.