Where do I go now?

by Libby 41 Replies latest jw friends

  • dubstepped

    Welcome Libby! I have a sister that we called Libby, and unfortunately she shuns me now, a byproduct of the love shown by JWs.

    What I see from your posts is that you think we can give you answers. Some here will try to give you definitive answers from the Bible, but just like you scrutinized the JWs and found that they don't add up, sadly most of us have done the same with the Bible and it too is found lacking. Most of us didn't want that, it just happened when we put it through the same rigors as what we had previously believed to be the "truth". Most here are agnostics or atheists.

    In the end, once I realized that it was all bull, not just the JWs but the Bible as well, the fear just went away. I realized that the only guarantee is what we have today. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed. Learn to be present, and some mindfulness meditation can help with that. Stop looking to the future or to a deity to cure your problems. You have the power to fix your life if it isn't what you want it to be. We only have one life that any of us us can prove. Anything beyond that is pure speculation. Live this one life to the full! Be a great person, do no harm, help others, pursue your dreams, and enjoy today because that is all we have.

    Pascal's wager is a farse. If you don't know what it is, it is basically that he would rather serve god with potentially infinite blessings than to not serve him and find out that he exists later. That intimates that god is an idiot incapable of seeing where we came from, why we chose not to serve him anymore, etc. If he's not reasonable and can't see that he gave us a book full of contradictions and magical tales with riddles in it and then expected us to follow him, then he doesn't understand his creation very well now does he? What loving father would give their kids riddles and tell them to just believe and if they don't would kill them? And isn't god supposed to be the superlative example of such a father?

    I don't know if there's a god. If there is that doesn't mean that he's benevolent. He could also be malevolent. The God of the Old Testament is a jerk that promotes raping women and bashing babies against rocks. That Jesus guy is pretty cool, but not a reflection of the god of the OT. As you look around life you start to see the yin and the yang, that things aren't all good or all bad. There's usually some of both. Creation is beautiful and magnificent, but it can also be cruel and horrifyingly ugly.

    So I have no reason to fear. What happens when I die? Well, all that anyone knows is that we simply die. We decompose. There are natural processes that aid that. I told my wife just this morning after waking up that "I just died last night when I went to bed", because I slept so soundly and was so tired going in. When you think about it, there isn't much difference, except that I woke up. You've been dead before, we all have. I believe it was Mark Twain that said that he didn't fear death because he had been dead before being born and he had no recollection of it being bad. Ultimately, this is the one area that messes with me because the biggest fear of a JW is to die and never wake up again. Ultimately, this is one huge reason that religions exist, to give people hope over death and to control them, usually for their own benefit. People are afraid of dying. I've been reading books on it and trying to grasp my mortality since leaving the JWs. I wish I had never been given the idea of permanence. When you look around you, death is just as much a part of life as life itself. We should be comfortable with it, but religion has altered our reality.

    Go fly and be free Libby! What you see is what you get in life.........and death. Nobody can tell you anything of certainty beyond that. Life is what you make it. We can't give you answers to everything, nobody can. You have to find your own way and to become your own enlightened self. Read and study new perspectives and see what makes sense to you. Learn critical thinking skills and apply them to what you read. Grow as a person and be the best Libby that you can be. Once your eyes are opened and you start seeing the world around you for what it is, you don't need people to tell you what to believe anymore. You'll have confidence in your own interpretation of life.

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    Libby, each night I pick someone I loved who has died and tell them I miss them and goodnight as I lay in bed. That's my form of praying these days. It is an expression of remembrance and faith that they did in fact once exist. It makes me feel good to remember mom, both her laugh and scorn. God never blessed me with his face or communication so I choose not to talk with him anymore. Take control of your own belief system. Make it yours alone. Don't ever become a slave again. If God is out there he can't fault you for loving the good things in life. Welcome, your fog will clear and you will come to your own conclusions.

  • zeb


    Hi you sound young well Im old another year today, so I see things from a vision of life.

    do I pray? Incessantly to who? my father who is in heaven as did Jesus (Yeshuah)

    No I didn't feel the holy spirit. I think at 23 I was doing baptism to make everyone else happy. Others who were baptised then received a bible written in and a welcome I was forgotten.. hmm I should have taken the hint then..

    I have recently begun to read the king james bible every night just a few chapters and so far I am up to Samuel. It is good to do as the archaic englifsh (deliberate) makes you read you just cant skim.

    My love to you have a good life it is a rocky rutted road we travel but roses and camellias grow along the way.

    pm me anytime for an 'old' perspective.

  • Anony Mous
    Anony Mous

    How long does it take for the fear of Armageddon to go away. ?

    I had nightmares for a while, at least 1-2 years. It's a lot like PTSD for me, probably because I was raised in, few things still trigger me but it happens, phrases, sounds or dreams will give panic attacks. Therapy or therapeutic activities can help, seek professional help if you need, I have an excellent life partner that helped me a lot.

    What will happen to me when I die?

    Bacteria and other organisms will start using you for food until you get burned to a crisp or until you're completely gone. Depending on conditions this could take several hundreds years. In the end all elements that once composed you will decay and the Universe will become cold and still again.

  • Finkelstein

    Where do I go now ?

    How about the truth and get an education.

  • scratchme1010

    So I thought my purpose was to serve Jehovah and get baptised. Where do I go now to get baptised?

    In essence you can just get a baptism anywhere they provide it. While you find a suitable place where you feel ok with your baptism, I'd encourage you to look and learn more about yourself as an individual.

    Is baptism even a requirement for serving God or was that just for the disciples and people of that time.

    No, if you want to serve your god, you can do that.

    When any of you were baptised did you feel the Holy Spirit.

    No. In fact, my JW baptism was a sham. I didn't feel anything different or special.

    Do you still pray ? To whom do you pray ? So lost. Advice please.

    I don't pray. I don't feel that I should be giving you any advice. My believe is that healthy spirituality comes from the inside out, not the other way around. Your spirituality is personal and just yours and just between you and your God. I hope you find peace.

  • ThinkerBelle

    Welcome, Libby. I started questioning the religion of my birth several years back and had many of the same questions you do. While I'm still today trying to figure my beliefs out - I think I align most with deism at this point - this board has been vary helpful in my journey as was returning to school. Unlike for my friend who felt completely betrayed when discovering TTATT, I was never fully "in" to begin with. Sure I followed the rigmarole of it all and got baptized because it was expected of me, but I never felt fully ingrained by it so I had no problem leaving mentally from the org. I would recommend reading the Bible without Watchtower aids as others have suggested and not the NWT version. I bought one that had commentary so I could see what various faiths believe. I began studying Christianity's roots and then delved into world and ancient religions. I think what really opened my eyes was studying the skeptics and philosophers of the 18th century. In particular, if you like deeper reading, Dialogues Concerning Natural Religion by David Hume was a great read for someone in discovery mode. That said, you just have to start at square one with your beliefs and where you want to go from here. I am the eternal optimist so the doom of Armageddon never plagued me - I choose to live life as I want not as how an organization wants me to. I do feel a spiritual need, but don't think that religion is the answer to life's problems. I am not worried about dying, but making the most of the days I have with the people closest to me. What happens when we die? There are any number of ways to believe that will fulfill your inner need whether you want to look on it spiritually or scientifically or both. I figure I'll find out when I'm gone; life is short so I'm not going to wrestle with the unknown. On the matter of prayer, I was never a pray-er, but occasionally in times of despair when I have no one else to turn to, I will offer one up to whomever may be listening; it is more a matter of relief for myself than of a religious requirement.

  • Finkelstein

    The " Truth " of the WTS/JWS is its a corrupt religious publishing house that makes false claims to lure in and entrap people for labor and money,. utilizing tactics of fear guilt and shame.

    I don't think Jehovah would choose commercialized false prophets as his earthly organization no matter how many times the WTS. says so.

  • Libby

    Thanks everyone I'm taking time to read through your messages and digest them.

  • dogisgod

    Who baptized Adam and Eve? (if you believe that). I don't recall any baptisms until John the Baptist. Baptism is a meaningless ceremony ..... unless you want to attach any meaning to it you want.

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