Ok so there is this girl we will be calling Abby. Abby has been in my congregation for about 2 years i think. When she first came i thought she was very beautiful and i still do. Shes actually one of the most prettiest darkskins you will ever see. I barely noticed her at first and barely realized that i had feelings for her until my cousins came from a different country to live with me. so one day i looked her name up on instagram. and found her instagram account. I texted her we talked blah blah blah. i even said soem dumb things to, like asking her if she wanted to prepare the watchtower with me and my cousins.....sadly she said no. Then she barely replied to my texts and stuff like that. but i think she kinda got the hint that i was interested in her because this one time she had this presentation to do at an assembly (pretty sure it was the day i got baptized) but then i texted her friend that day and told her friend that she did a good job. then her friend asked if i wanted her to tell her and i said ok..... but here comes the part where im confused at..... so i got baptized on a saturday and i was texting her monday evening and my cousins were helping me out and told me to say stuff so she can see that i was zealed or something like that, and i did. but then it got boring and i sent a text to her saying "I think you're pretty". she never responded back so then i deleted the message the next day a couple of hours before kingdom hall. once i deleted the message she texted me saying that maybe i deleted the message becaused i realized that i shouldnt have said something like that to her and blah blah blah and also told me not to try that with her and with anybody else because i was baptaized now. This is a good time to say that she is about 3 and a half years older than me, maybe even 4 years older. so then after our little discussion she blocked me for a while then unblocked me. i would text her sometimes saying that i was sorry about what happened but she didnt answer and stuff like that. This was all 2 years ago and now i dont know what to do because i really like her and i would be so maddd at myself if she had found someone else. just the thought of her getting married just upsets me. after what happened 2 years ago we didnt speak to each other for 6 months straight. she only said hi because this other girl was standing right there and she said hi to her and i happened to be next to that sister. i think she thinks im mad at her or something. we havent said hi to each other ina long time... i neeed some advice on what to do. i dont want to speak to her about my feelings for her so she doesnt tell any of the elders or anybody else... my kingdom hall is filled with nosybodies
I Like A Girl From Kingdom Hall Please HELP!!!!!!!!
but here comes the part where I'm confused
Really this is it ?
How about you coming to the longest standing ex-jws / anti-JWS web site to ask about your love interest problems at your Kingdom Hall.
Ok I'll be concise, guy she isn't into you, if she was, you would have known by now. .......move on
I remember being your age. This might be difficult to hear, but she is not interested. It would be fruitless to pursue her. Crushes come and go. Not everyone you are romantically interesting in will return that interest. But eventually someone will come along that will have a mutual interest in you.
While you are young, do research on this organization, it's history, belief system and so forth. Think about going to college and making friends with people of all religions and backgrounds, not just JWs.
It takes two people to REALLY like each other to make it work. You like her but she obviously doesn’t feel the same way about you. Did any girl like you but you don’t feel the same way about her? You get the idea?
Londo snd Fink-and lamallcool have said some things l agree with. I wish other guys would also talk to you about the way dating and courting are in the Organization . They would warn you that the information snd the restricted social network in the halls is BAD BAD BAD for finding snd developing a healthy marriage.
This is viewed as an apostate website. You should honestly ask why you look here for honest help. I can tell you why. It’s because we will tell you the truth straight up the way we have found it.
Now ask yourself this one: what would this girl think of your zeal if she knew you were talking to us about her? You are dead meat.
You have normal interests of s young man. Learn a good trade of get some extra learning and get out of a place that will always mess with your marriage. That girl is not a bad girl . But she is s JW and that is not in your heart. If you want to have a chance to be happy get away from all that.
You will find a sweetheart somewhere else. My boys did. So will you.
Simon: Maybe we need a section for teens (or pre-teens).
I'm gonna take a guess that you are a mid-late teen and the young sister you are interested in is at least 20. Talking in general terms if "Abby" is doing a demonstration at an assembly then she is likely a pioneer or someone in very "good standing" in the circuit.
She will quite possibly be looking for no one at the moment but if she is it might be a "spiritual man" to marry and serve as a pioneer with. If she is as pretty as you say then at this moment she will likely enjoy having the attention of men older than you - perhaps her age or even mid to late 20's. They may well be Ministerial Servants.
The fact that you are 4 years younger than her and newly baptised goes against you because you will be viewed as a spiritual "babe" - especially if you are not pioneering.
As Londo said - she is not interested. Honestly, you would know.
I am very old now - in my fifties but I remember at age 18 having an amazing crush on a 17 year old who was a lovely very pretty young girl at the time and who has grown up to be a lovely lady who is married with grandchildren now.
She was kind and went out with me to the cinema and sports centres two or three times but it was obvious she wasn't attracted to me like I was to her.
My heart was aching - I literally cried myself to sleep at times such was the intensity of my feelings.
Soon she found her husband to be who was five or six years older than her and who is a really nice guy - he just was more mature than me as you would expect and she was into him.
A couple of innocent (I was a believing devout JW at the time) girlfriends later I met my wife to be. I still have fond memories of the girl I had intense feelings for but you will get over it even if it feels like forever now.
My advice looking back? Put any excess energy into making yourself employable and better educated.
When you are a bit older you'll find good relationships if you have honest decent intentions not to take advantage of women but to love them and be loved back.
Take your time to really investigate the history of Jehovahs Witnesses and ask questions here; we really want to help.
So ... you texted someone and they somehow knew that you had deleted your text? That isn't how texting works.
If someone doesn't return your affection then you have to find someone else I'm afraid. Please don't tell us you got baptized thinking it would 'impress' her!
Also, don't they teach punctuation in schools anymore?!? You'll find you get a better response if you break your text into paragraphs so it is easier to read.
It's called infatuation, Kenny. You really don't know this girl at all and she obviously wants to keep it that way.
I know it hurts, but the sooner you realize this, the sooner it will stop.
Humbled is dead on about dating in a closed social group, especially one that looks down on normal, healthy desires.
Shes actually one of the most prettiest darkskins you will ever see.
Well, okay then Kenny. I think I see what your problem might be: you write like an ignorant, uneducated racist. And apparently you are jealous of a woman that has clearly indicated she is not into you. So obviously you’re immature and not too bright.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news and all, but you asked!